Fez of Mahrez

A couple more this morning. Forest to beat Brentford at home at 2/5. Accie with Man Utd, Forest, Southampton and Bolton/Wigan draw.

Just put £2 on Southampton to draw 3-3 with Hull on Betfair. Thought 140-1 was a crazy price. Want a few other things on tomorrow but no strong fancies. Might have an accie just for a change. Also opted for Newcastle 3 Sheff Utd 1 as a real outside bet and more than 2 goals in the Liverpool-Reading game. Oh and Bolton 0 Wigan 0.

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/play_uk.php?id=1716950

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/play_uk.php?id=1716909

Yeah, me too. MSN me.

Had a few things on today, mostly our game. Also 3-2 to Man United, laid off a bit after the early Wigan goal. £45 if it comes off somehow. No loss otherwise. Liverpool 2 Blackburn 1. Burnley, Birmingham and Southampton in an accy for the fun of it.

So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand." You invented Tipp Ex, correct me if I'm wrong. I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button. I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End' So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch." I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he?" So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is." I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver. My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bisatchel. I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera." So I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, it's P something T something R. I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue, and I couldn't put it down. I phoned the local ramblers club today, and this bloke just went on and on. My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?? I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me." So I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, "You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana." He said, "No, this is for the custard." This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, "I want you to trace someone for me." So this lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster. So I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, it's a permanent job." So I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?" I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything." I phoned the local builders today, I said to them "Can I have a skip outside my house?" He said, "I'm not stopping you!" So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!" So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, "Nearest the bull goes first" He went "Baah" and I went "Moo" He said "You're closest" So I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought that's Aboriginal. I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director & I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened. I said "I careered off the road" I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's so tiny you couldn't swing a cat in there. I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on three counts. I bought a train ticket and the driver said "Eurostar" I said "Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin. I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays." So I went to the local video shop and I said, "Can I take out The Elephant Man?" He said, "He's not your type." I said "How about Batman Forever?" He said, "No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow"

Lost £3, bit of a waste of time all round to be honest. Need to be more disciplined.

Have put some small correct score bets on each game today; West Ham 1-1 Reading (laid off for no loss after early goal) Manchester United 2-1 Newcastle (planning on playing around with this during the game, was tempted by 3-1 but will see how the game goes first) Blackburn 2-2 Wigan (will probably let this ride for most of the game) Tottenham 2-3 Portsmouth (goals, goals, goals. Please.)

No I laid them.

I've always found Betfair's odds to be the best. Nah, they were 1/100 to win when they were 3-2 up at Highbury with about ten seconds of injury time to go. There were loads of 1.01s gone down that season. Fowler for Man City v Arsenal in the League Cup making it 1-2 and AC Milan to beat Liverpool at half-time in the Champions League final being just two more examples.

I am going to be a regular in here once I have broadband access in my bedroom at home. Going to be on Betfair so much. Laid Southampton at Highbury two seasons ago at 1/100 in the dying seconds when van Persie curled in a screamer from outside the box. Can't wait.

My favourite films; City of God The Usual Suspects Ferris Bueller's Day Off Airplane! Naked Gun The Incredibles Anything by the Marx Brothers

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/play_uk.php?id=1447430

This website is more addictive than crack. Not that I'd know.

Wow did you actually do that??

I had Ballack to score any time but I thought he played a lot deeper than usual. Steering clear of the England game today, not much value to be had there and it already means enough to me without having to bet on it to make it more exciting.

I went to Creation during Euro 2004 to watch England v France and there was a Sven lookalike there, perhaps that was him.

Oh dear.

Didn't want to offend! Just thought it was pretty weird that you reminded me of two different people with the same name.. That'll teach you to start a lookalikes thread

How do you know who Delirious are!!!!! They live in my village, massive house! Wow, wierd 110098[/snapback] My mate's been into them for years. Then he formed his own rock band and may be supporting Delirious in the near future. So there's a lesson for all of us. Not quite sure what it is but I'm sure there's one to be learned there somewhere. He used to live in Alton.

I think Tomassi looks like Martin Smith but I can't decide whether I mean Martin Smith the Northampton Town striker or Martin Smith the lead singer with Christian rock band Delirious? Tomassi? Tomassi? (the one on the right) What do you reckon? I think it's the footballer but that picture isn't great.

Hope you won't take this the wrong way but I noticed Jas Mann, the lead singer from early 90s one-hit wonder Babylon Zoo on a photo from one of your pub trips....