Mark Posted 26 January 2005 Share Posted 26 January 2005 EMPLOYERS Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin. WOMEN Don't waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn't give a shÃÂt anyway and you could use the saved energy to hoover the house after you've been banged. GAMBLERS. For a new gambling opportunity, try sending a £50 to yourself by Royal Mail. MEN Make sure that your lady always gets to sleep in the wet patch by ejaculating into her side of the bed before she gets into it. Grated cheddar cheese from the supermarket can be squashed tightly together with the fingers to produce a block of cheese, ready for slicing or grating. CAR thieves Don't be discouraged when nothing is on view. All the valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat. MOTORISTS Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea. ALCOHOLICS Don't worry where the next drink is coming from. Go to the pub, where a large selection is available at retail prices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MADLEVEIN Posted 26 January 2005 Share Posted 26 January 2005 "Don't waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn't give a shÃÂt anyway and you could use the saved energy to hoover the house after you've been banged." :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: drug takers; cut out the middle man and rob the dealers instead of innocent folk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricey Posted 26 January 2005 Share Posted 26 January 2005 Great stuff *takes note* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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