Guest Daniel Posted 29 January 2005 Posted 29 January 2005 Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear. Yo mama's afro is so big, when the bitch got in my car everyone thought I had tinted windows. Yo mama is so dyslexic, when I told her to go get the Head and Shoulders, she jumped on my shoulders and gave me head. Yo mama's ankles are so ashy, it looks like she's wearing socks. Yo mama's breath is so stank, we don't know whether she needs gum or toilet paper. Yo mama's breath is so stank, you can smell it over the phone. Yo mama's breath is so stank, when she yawns her teeth duck. Yo mama's breath is so stank, she eats odor eaters. Yo mama's family is so ugly, people come to your house to see a freak show. Yo mama's family is so ugly, her photo album has warning labels on it. Yo mama's family is so ugly, when they sit down for dinner it looks like the bar room scene from Star Wars. Yo mama's butt is so bony, she put her drawers on and cut them in two. Yo mama's butt is so big, it looks like 2 pigs fighting over milk duds. Yo mama's butt cheeks are so big, even Moses couldn't part them. Yo mama's feet are so big and nasty, when she wants jam, she gets someone to run a loaf of bread between her toes. Yo mama's feet so big, her sneakers need license plates. Yo mama's ass is so big, its got more crack than Mayor Marion Barry. Yo mama's ass is so big, she takes up 5 rows of seats in the theater. Yo mama's ass is so big, she bent over and got arrested for selling crack. Yo mama's forehead's so big, you could show slides on it. Yo mama's mouth is so big, she speaks in surround sound. Yo mama's gums are so black, she spits Chocolate Milk. Yo mama's neck is so wrinkled, she can grate cheese on it. Yo mama's gums are so black, she spits Yoo Hoo. Yo mama's hair is so short, she don't get finger waves, she gets finger prints. Yo mama's hair is unbeweavable. Yo mama's hair is so nappy, it looks like an aerial view of the million man march. Look! There goes Farrakhan! Yo mama's hair is so nappy, she has to take Tylenol just to comb it. Yo mama's hair is so nappy, she uses a rake to comb it. Yo mama's hair is nappier than a goats ass. Yo mama's hair is so nappy, when she combs her hair her teeth bleed. Yo mama's hair is so nappy, even Moses couldn't part it. Yo mama's hair is so nappy, her comb had to get dentures. Yo mama's head is so big, she has to go around the corner to change her mind. Yo mama's hair has so much mousse in it, it could deflect bullets. Yo mama's head is so big, she has to wash her hair at Niagara falls. Yo mama's head is so big, it shows up on radar. Yo mama's head is so big, when she tries to tie her shoes, the bitch flips over. Yo mama's head is so big, she don't have dreams, she has movies. Yo mama's head is so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on. Yo mama's head is so little, she could wear fruit loops as head rags. Yo mama's head is so small, she got her ear pierced and died. Yo mama's head is so small, she uses a tea bag for a pillow. Yo mama's hips are so big, people set their drinks on them. Yo mama's legs are like Jif, easy to spread. Yo mama's a blind bird-watcher. Yo mama's legs are so hairy if she had fur coat & a banana they'd stick her back in the zoo. Yo mama's legs are so white, they'd disintegrate Dracula. Yo mama's lips are so big, that ChapStick had to invent a spray. Yo mama's lips are so big, she uses Mop & Glow for lipstick. Yo mama's lips are so big, when you smile you wet your hair. Yo mama's lips are so big, when she smiles she gets ChapStick on her ears. Yo mama is so horny, she puts a dollar over her head and says "All you can eat, under a dollar!" Yo mama is so horny, she maintains a personal relationship with the Energizer bunny. Yo mama's tits are so small, she had to tattoo "front" on her chest. Yo mama's jaw is so strong, she can blow bubbles in Now-'N-Laters. Yo mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece. Yo mama's like Burger King... Your way, right away. Yo mama's like a bungee cord... 100 dollars for 30 seconds and if that rubber breaks, your ass is dead. Yo mama's like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth. Yo mama's like a Snickers bar, packed with nuts. Yo mama's like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy. Yo mama's like a hardware store, 25 cents a screw. Yo mama's like Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped. Yo mama's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen. Yo mama's like the new AOL 4.0: Fun, fast, easy and free! Yo mama's like a nickel, she ain't worth a dime. Yo mama's like a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear. Yo mama's like a Mr. Bucket, balls are always popping out of her mouth. Yo mama's like a Mr. Bucket, I can always put my balls in her mouth. Yo mama's like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day. Yo mama's like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, there's no wrong way to eat her. Yo mama's like a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner. Yo mama's like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day. Yo mama's like a library, open to the public. Yo mama's like a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat. Yo mama's like an ATM, open 24 hours. Yo mama's like Discover card, she gives cash back. Yo mama's like a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot. Yo mama's like a microwave, one button and she's hot. Yo mama's like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off. Yo mama's like a mail box, open day and night. Yo mama's like a bag of potato chips, "Free-To-Lay." Yo mama's like a turtle, once she's on her back she's fooked. Yo mama's like a championship ring, everybody puts a finger in her. Yo mama's like a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff. Yo mama's like a bowling ball... round, heavy, and you can fit three fingers in. Yo mama's like a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter. Yo mama's like the sun, look at her too long and you'll go blind. Yo mama's like a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered, thrown down the gutter, and she still comes back for more. Yo mama's like cheap liquor, tastes like shit. Yo mama's like a bus, guys climb on and off her all day long. Yo mama's like a bubble gum machine, 5 cents a blow. Yo mama's like a fan, she's always blowing someone. Yo mama's like Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow. Yo mama's like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her. Yo mama's like school at 3 o'clock... children keep coming out and nobody can remember all the fathers. Yo mama's like a door knob, everybody gets a turn. Yo mama's like Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing. Yo mama's like Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all. Yo mama's like Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free. Yo mama's like Blockbuster Video, everyone goes home happy. Yo mama's like Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country. Yo mama's like a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail. Yo mama's like a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump. Yo mama's like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods. Yo mama's like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on. Yo mama's like a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up. Yo mama's like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away. Yo mama's like a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country. Yo mama's like a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans. Yo mama's like a race car driver... she burns a lot of rubbers. Yo mama's like a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country. Yo mama's like a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up. Yo mama's like a shotgun, one cock and she blows. Yo mama's like a shotgun, two cocks and she's loaded. Yo mama's like a hockey player, she only showers after three periods. Yo mama's like a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!" Yo mama's like a Toyota, "I love what she does for me!" Yo mama's like a TV, even a 2 year old could turn her on. Yo mama's like a vacuum cleaner... a real good suck. Yo mama's like a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet. Yo mama's like a tube of Pringles, once you pop, you can't stop. Yo mama's like an ice cream cone... everyone gets a lick. Yo mama's like a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to score. Yo mama's like a Ford Pinto, she blows after she gets banged in the rear. Yo mama's like the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday. Yo mama's like a refridgerator, everyone puts their meat in her. Yo mama's like cake mix, 15 servings per package! Yo mama's like an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day. Yo mama's like a window, always open. Yo mama's like Denny's... open 24 hours. Yo mama's like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served. Yo mama's like McDonalds... over 5 billion served world wide. Yo mama's like McDonalds... What you want is what you get. Yo mama's like peanut butter: brown, creamy, and easy to spread. Yo mama's like mustard, she spreads easy. Yo mama's like a pool table, she likes balls in her pocket. Yo mama's like a parking garage, three bucks and you're in. Yo mama's like a tricycle, she's easy to ride. Yo mama's like the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her. Yo mama's like lettuce, 25 cents a head. Yo mama's like a moped, everyone rides her but they won't admit it. Yo mama likes to applaud, 'cause she's got clap. Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side. Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips. Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends come help. Yo mama's so fat, I've got to tell two snaps just to cover her fat ass. Yo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh! Yo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's in feet. Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through. Yo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change. Yo mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip. Yo mama's so fat, when she walks across the living room, the radio skips. Yo mama's so fat, when she played hide-n-go-seek, she hid behind a water tower. Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real. Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Jordache jeans is real. Yo mama's so fat, she's not kidding when she says "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she says "Trick or meatloaf!" Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she trick or treats two houses at a time. Yo mama's so fat, when she opens the refrigerator, it says "I give up!" Yo mama's so fat, when she opens the refrigerator, it says "Uncle!" Yo mama's so fat, Fat Albert gave her the rights to say "Hey, hey, hey!" Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her a dinosaur. Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her the key to the store. Yo mama's so fat, when she went to Burger King and asked for a Whopper, they gave her the sign. Yo mama's so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the screen. Yo mama's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station. Yo mama's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine. Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama" Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton. Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to put her picture on the milk truck. Yo mama's so fat, you can't even see her legs, it just looks like she's gliding across the floor. Yo mama's so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's. Yo mama's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load. Yo mama's so fat, she was in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade... wearing ropes. Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down. Yo mama's so fat, she don't wear a G-String, she wears an A, B, C, D, E, F, G-String. Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the water. Yo mama's so fat, she uses diet soap. Yo mama's so fat, she has to use a lawn chair instead of a Thigh Master. Yo mama's so fat, she went to sit down and the chair begged for mercy. Yo mama's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor. Yo mama's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed. Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live. Yo mama's so fat, she doesn't have a doctor, she has a grounds keeper. Yo mama's so fat, she doesn't have love handles, she has a roll bar. Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth. Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her. Yo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall! Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames. Yo mama's so fat, I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8. Yo mama's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall. Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade. Yo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard. Yo mama's so fat, she's larger than life. Yo mama's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck. Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her. Yo mama's so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise. Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost. Yo mama's so fat, she's once, twice, three times a lady. Yo mama's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans. Yo mama's so fat, when she was walking in her jeans I swear I smelled something burning. Yo mama's so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her. Yo mama's so fat, her ass has it's own congressman. Yo mama's so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop. Yo mama's so fat, her favorite blouse is a tent. Yo mama's so fat, she deep-fries her toothpaste. Yo mama's so fat, her favorite food is seconds. Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on. Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she sees the big top and asks "Where can I try that on?" Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she takes up all the rings. Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way. Yo mama's so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirits. Yo mama's so fat that she has TB... two bellies. Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts. Yo mama's so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her. Yo mama's so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop. Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks. Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil. Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she plays the interior line. Yo mama's so fat, she has to keep pesos in one pocket and yen in the other. Yo mama's so fat, when she wears heels, they're flats by the afternoon. Yo mama's so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is clear." Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections. Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is rocky-road. Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu. Yo mama's so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial. Yo mama's so fat, her yearbook picture is an aerial. Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side." Yo mama's so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics. Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon. Yo mama's so fat, when she put on some BVD's by the time they reached her waist they spelled "BouleVarD." Yo mama's so fat, when she auditioned for a part in "Indiana Jones," she got the part as the big rolling ball. Yo mama's so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says "Okay." Yo mama's so fat, when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains." Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate. Yo mama's so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her. Yo mama's so fat, I had to roll over twice to get off of her. Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it! Yo mama's so fat, she's got Amtrak tattooed on her leg. Yo mama's so fat, when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them. Yo mama's so fat, she freebases ham. Yo mama's so fat, we got her in the drive-in free by dressing her as a Chevy. Yo mama's so fat, she went on a light diet... As soon as it's light she starts eating. Yo mama's so fat, she's on a new diet... slim slow. Yo mama's so fat, she ain't on a diet, she's on a triet... She be like "What ya'll eating? I'll try it!" Yo mama's so fat, she went on a seafood diet... Whenever she saw food she ate it. Yo mama's so fat, she could go a week without eating and still not lose weight. Yo mama's so fat, she can't lose weight, only find it. Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time. Yo mama's so fat, she's half Indian, half Irish, and half American. Yo mama's so fat, she got it goin' on... and on and on and on. Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my ass on the lightbulb. Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to an office, they tell her to pull up a sofa. Yo mama's so fat, if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound test! Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes. Yo mama's so fat, they have to run a relay race to get her belt through her belt loops. Yo mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang. Yo mama's so fat, her belt size is the equator. Yo mama's so fat, she wears an asteroid belt. Yo mama's so fat, she has her own area code. Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud. Yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party. Yo mama's so fat, when I was done I rolled over, over again, and I was still on top of the bitch. Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion. Yo mama's so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance! Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the Rose Parade they thought she was a float. Yo mama's so fat, she went to Sizzler and got a group discount. Yo mama's so fat, she made weight watchers go blind. Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each timezone. Yo mama's so fat n black, she jumped in the ocean and they thought she was an oil spill. Yo mama's so fat, she has to wear a three piece bathing suit. Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the ocean jumped back and said "I'll wait my turn." Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she play offense and defense. Yo mama's so fat, her nickname is "Damn." Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs. Yo mama's so fat, your daddy had to roll her in flower and look for the wet spot. Yo mama's so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out. Yo mama's so fat, I shot the bitch and Crisco came out. Yo mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck. Yo mama's so fat, I tried to #### her doggy style but I was just ridin' piggy back. Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to "Get the #### off." Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her "#### it, they don't pay me enough!" Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her "Sorry, we don't do livestock." Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it said "Please step out of the car." Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and she saw her phone number. Yo mama's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 she was on a scale. Yo mama's so fat, when she gets on the scale it says "To be continued." Yo mama's so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says "One at a time, please." Yo mama's so fat, when she weighed herself the scale gave her an equation. Yo mama' so fat, she's moving the Earth out of its orbit. Yo mama's so fat, Yo father didn't know whether to #### her or take the burro ride down. Yo mama's so fat, no one can talk behind her back. Yo mama's so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat. Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet. Yo mama's so fat, she's got her own zip code. Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her as a new world. Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone. Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket. Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Dazzey Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs. Yo mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway. Yo mama's so fat, her tailor takes her measurements in light years. Yo mama's so fat, when she comes down the stairs she measures on the Richter scale. Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders "Thank You, Come Again." Yo mama's so fat, she eats biscuits like tic tacs. Yo mama's so fat, she don't eat Wheat Thins, she eats Wheat Thicks. Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it. Yo mama's so fat, when yo father fell in love with her he got lost. Yo mama's so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming pool. Yo mama's so fat, when she gets out of the car, she leaves stretch marks. Yo mama's so fat, she leaves stretch marks on the bathtub. Yo mama's so fat, when she fills up the tub, she fills up the tub. Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us! Yo mama's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?" Yo mama's so fat, she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets. Yo mama's so fat, she has more nooks and crannies than a Thomas' English Muffin. Yo mama's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets. Yo mama's so fat, she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles. Yo mama's so fat, when the cashier at KFC asked what size bucket she wanted, she said the one on the roof. Yo mama's so fat, she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets. Yo mama's so fat, she has two stomachs: One for meat, one for vegetables. Yo mama's so fat, she masturbates reading cookbooks. Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds. Yo mama's so fat, even her shadow has stretch marks. Yo mama's so fat, she needs a roadmap to find her ass. Yo mama's so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck. Yo mama's so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck. Yo mama's so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck. Yo mama's so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big. Yo mama's so fat, the earth orbits around her instead of the sun. Yo mama's so fat, NASA orbits satellites around her. Yo mama's so fat, NASA is going to use her to fill the hole in the ozone layer. Yo mama's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: LA, Detroit, Seattle, NY. Yo mama's so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit. Yo mama's so fat, I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he'd seen her too. Yo mama's so fat, after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week. Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller. Yo mama's so fat, she looks like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man on steroids. Yo mama's so fat, she sat on the corner and the police came & said "Break it up!" Yo mama's so fat, she can't just work one corner, she has to work all four. Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change. Yo mama's so fat, she sat on four quarters and made a dollar. Yo mama's so fat, her car is made out of spandex. Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change the radio station. Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change gears. Yo mama's so fat, she got a "speed pass" for Dairy Queen. Yo mama's so fat, she shows up on radar. Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H d. Yo mama's so fat, she had to roll over 4 times just to get an even tan. Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out. Yo mama's so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks. Yo mama's so fat, she wears a hula-hoop for a belly-button ring. Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad. Yo mama's so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock. Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat. Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters. Yo mama's so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper. Yo mama's so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain yelled "Land Ho!" Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a rowing machine and it sank. Yo mama's so fat, she went to a Chinese Restaurant and ordered a 40oz. of gravy. Yo mama's so fat, she has 48 midnight snacks. Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family. Yo mama's so fat, she can't tie her own shoes. Yo mama's so fat, she eats cereal out of a satellite dish. Yo mama's so fat, she sat in Big Foot and made it a lowrider. Yo mama's so fat, when she got on the bus she turned it into a low rider. Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas. Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street everyone yells "Earthquake!" Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street, you can hear her hips saying to each other "If you let me by, I'll let you pass." Yo mama's so fat, when she walks in front of the T.V., you miss 5 minutes of your show. Yo mama's so fat, the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door. Yo mama's so fat, the only thing she lost at Jenny Craig was $29.95. Yo mama's so fat, Jenny Craig did a credit check. Yo mama's so fat, when she volunteered to clean cages at the zoo, people walked by and said "Look at the elephant!" Yo mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a "Caution! Wide Turn" sign. Yo mama's so fat, she sat on an Oreo and unlocked the magic. Yo mama's so fat, they had to baptize her at Sea World. Yo mama's so fat, last time she went to Sea World Shamu got a hard on. Yo mama's so fat, she jumed in da ocean and the whales started singing "We are family!" Yo mama's so fat, when I have sex with her I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in. Yo mama's so fat, they changed my Physics book to say "What goes up must come down, except Yo mama." Yo mama's so fat, she has a greater gravitational attraction than a black hole. Yo mama's so fat, she uses the carpet as a blanket. Yo mama's so fat, when she wears corduroy pants, the ridges don't show. Yo mama's so fat, she made Richard Simmons cry. Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her. Yo mama's so fat, when she saw a yellow bus going down the road she yelled "Hey! Stop that Twinkie." Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a red dress people yell "Hey Kool-Aid Man." Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call her "Taxi!" Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, kids think its the school bus. Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a purple sweater people call her "Barney." Yo mama is so fat, when she sits in a chair, the rolls on her legs, cover her feet like a blanket. Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her ass back in the water. Yo mama's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan. Yo mama's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out. Yo mama's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop. Yo mama's so fat, she don't know wether she's walking or rolling. Yo mama's so fat, when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!" Yo mama's so fat, she get's her toenails painted at Earl Schieb's. Yo mama's so fat, but I fooked her anyway. Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to #### her I didn't know if I was hitting the hole or a roll. Yo mama's so fat, when my dog went to #### her he had to peel too many fat rolls and said "#### It." Yo mama's so fat, when she fart the whole planet came out. Yo mama's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anerexic. Yo mama's so fat, her car is made of spandex. Yo mama's so fat, we're inside her right now. Yo mama's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck. Yo mama's so fat, one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got lost in her. Yo mama's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet. Yo mama's so fat, if she were an airplane, she'd be a jumbo jet. Yo mama's so fat, one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out. Yo mama's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes. Yo mama's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation. Yo mama so fat that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seatbelts. Yo mama's so fat, she smells like bacon at 90 degrees. Yo mama's so fat, and her back is so crooked, when she lays down...people say "I didn't know we had mountains." Yo mama's so fat, when she travels, she's gotta make two trips. Yo mama's so fat, God created her, and on tHe seventh day he rested. Yo mama's so fat, they call her "Big Fat Ho." Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks. Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she didn't get a birth certificate, she got blue prints. Yo mama's so poor, when I rang the doorbell she leaned out the window and said "DING!" Yo mama's so poor, the mat on her front porch says "Wel " Yo mama's so poor, I saw her doing headspins on a Cheerios box in front of Goodwill for a piece of Wonder bread. Yo mama's so poor, she's got more furniture on her porch than in her house. Yo mama's so poor, she has to wear her McDonald's uniform to church. Yo mama's so poor, she has to do drive-by shootings on the bus. Yo mama's so poor, I asked her what's for dinner and she pulled out a gun and said "Next one who moves!" Yo mama's so poor, when I was taking family portraits for you and said "Cheese!" she went looking for the line. Yo mama's so poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Ain't you ever seen a mobile home?" Yo mama's so poor, I saw her wrestling a squirrel for a peanut. Yo mama's so poor, the closest thing to a car she has is a low-rider shopping cart with a box on it. Yo mama's so poor, she can't even put her two cents in this conversation. Yo mama's so poor, when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said "Hey miss, lost a shoe?" she said "Nope, just found one!" Yo mama's so poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving." Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't wear Tommy Hilfiger, she wears Tommy's Over The Hill Nigga. Yo mama's so poor, her BOSS pants are unemployed. Yo mama's so poor, I lit a match in her house and the roaches started singing "Clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord 'cause we got heat!" Yo mama's so poor, I walked into her house, two roaches tripped me and a rat stole my wallet. Yo mama's so poor, I went to her house and tore down some cob webs, and she said "Who's tearing down the drapes?" Yo mama's so poor, the bank repossesed her cardboard box. Yo mama's so poor, she had to get a second mortgage on her cardboard box. Yo mama's so poor, she sits on the corner with a bunch of roaches singin' "We are family!" Yo mama's so poor, when I saw her rolling some trash cans around in an alley, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Remodeling." Yo mama's so poor, I threw a rock at a trash can and she popped out and said "Who knocked?" Yo mama's so poor, I saw her shaking a can around and asked her what she was doing and she said "Redecorating." Yo mama's so poor, I came over for dinner and saw 3 beans on the table, I took one and she said "Don't be greedy." Yo mama's so poor, I came over for dinner and she read me recipes. Yo mama's so poor, she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. Yo mama's so poor, she has to take the trash IN. Yo mama's so poor, she lives in a two story Dorrito bag with a dog named Chip. Have you heard the story about the old lady that lived in a shoe? Well Yo mama is so poor, she lives in a flip flop. Yo mama's so poor, I went through her front door and ended up in the back yard. Yo mama's so poor, her front and back doors are on the same hinge. Yo mama's so poor, I went through her front door and tripped over the back fence. Yo mama's so poor, her doormat doesn't say "Welcome," it says "Welfare." Yo mama's so poor, when I stepped on her doormat she said "Hey, you can't go upstairs." Yo mama's so poor, I stepped on her skateboard and she said "Hey, get off the car!" Yo mama's so poor, I went into her house and saw a bunch of cockroaches sittin' around the toilet singin' "We are family!" Yo mama's so poor, I walked into her house and stepped on a cigarette butt and she said, "Hey, who turned off the heater?" Yo mama's so poor, I walked into her house and swatted a firefly and Yo Mama said, "Who turned off the lights?" Yo mama's so poor, I went into her house and flushed a cockroach down the toilet and she said, "Hey, where'd Grandma go?" Yo mama's so poor, when I went to use her bathroom, I saw a roach sitting on a Pepsi can talkin' `bout "Wait your turn!" Yo mama's so poor, I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, and she gave me two sticks. I asked her what the sticks were for and she said "One's to hold up the ceiling, the other is to fight off the roaches." Yo mama's so poor, I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, and she said "3rd tree to your right." Yo mama's so poor, I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, and she handed me a shovel and said "May the force be with you." Yo mama's so poor, I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, and she said "Two buckets to your left." Yo mama's so poor, she watches TV on an Etch-A-Sketch. Yo mama's so poor, your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF. Yo mama's so poor, they put her picture on food stamps. Yo mama's so poor, she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it airconditioning. Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention. Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to go to the free clinic. Yo mama's so poor, when she heard about the last supper, she thought she ran out of food stamps. Yo mama's so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers. Yo mama's so poor, TV dinner trays are her good china. Yo mama's so poor, when I went over to her house for dinner and grabbed a paper plate, she said "Don't use the good china!" Yo mama's so poor, she married young just to get the rice! Yo mama's so poor, burglars break in and leave money. Yo mama's so poor, people rob her house for practice. Yo mama's so poor, the only time she smelled hot food was when a rich man farted! Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford free cookies from the supermarket. Yo mama's so poor, when Yo family watches TV, they go to Sears. Yo mama's so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save milk. Yo mama's so poor, she put a thirstbuster on layaway with food stamps. Yo mama's so poor, she put free samples on layaway. Yo mama's so poor, she got arrested for breaking the gum-ball machine because it didn't take food-stamps. Yo mama’s so poor, I walked into her house, asked what was for dinner, so she lit my pockets on fire and said "Hot Pockets." Yo mama's so poor, she has a wooden beeper and when it goes off, it goes (Now you knock on something wood) Yo mama's so poor, when I sat on the couch a roach said "Get the hell off! I pay rent." Yo mama's so poor, when I asked what was for dinner, she pulled her shoelaces off and said "Spagetti." Yo mama's so poor, after I pissed in your yard, she thanked me for watering the lawn. Yo mama's so poor, even the republicans were willing to give her welfare. Yo mama's so po, she can't even afford the last two letters.
Bedford Fox Posted 31 January 2005 Posted 31 January 2005 well................ your momma. mmmmmmmmmm....smells!!!
Katy Posted 31 January 2005 Posted 31 January 2005 well................your momma. mmmmmmmmmm....smells!!! 61292[/snapback] Your mothers got a pen*s!
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