A Damn Fine Explanation
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very
attractive young woman and was somewhat upset!'You are a disrespectful
pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the
mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight
away!' And the husband replied 'Hang on just a minute love, so atleast
I can tell you what happened.''Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed, 'but they'll
be the last words you'll ever say to me!! And the husband began --
'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady
here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I
took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was thin,
poorly dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for
three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the
enchiladas I made for you last night - the ones you wouldn't eat
because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in
moments.Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and
while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes,
so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the
designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use
because you say they are too tight.I also gave her the underwear that was your
anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good
taste. I went and found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for
Christmas, the one that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated
those boots you bought at that expensive shoe boutique and don't use
because someone at work has a pair the same.'The husband took a quick
breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and
help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in
her eyes and said,
'Please, do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use' ?