The People's Hero Posted 13 October 2005 Share Posted 13 October 2005 Genius! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gist Posted 13 October 2005 Share Posted 13 October 2005 Cracking question. I can't believe CL has not done this....I would get on the phone to Stan Collymore (or his Hollywood agent) and say: Me: look Stan, I'm not going to beat around the bush, you are the best striker that has ever graced the premiership let alone Filbert Street. I want you back Stan, plain and simple. Stan: Well I’m very flattered by your interest, you obviously know your stuff and you look like you have got a lot of potential as a manager. Me: thanks Stan Stan: but I’m afraid I’m a new man, gone were the days of wife beating and depression, I am now making it as a soft porn star on the other side of the pond, I'm sorry but i'm earning more over here in a day than I could at Leicester in a month. me: look Stan, moneys not a problem, I'm selling De Vries, Hammond, Hume, Wright, Dublin + the money that I’ve got left over from Connolly will all go towards your wages. I've also got some Insurance money from lee Morris come though. Stan: What kind of money are we talking about here? Me: Look Stan, 300k golden hello and 90k a week on a 4 year contract. Stan: that means I will be contracted to Leicester until I’m nearly 39, do you not feel that I might be over the hill? Me: Look Stan, when you reach 37-38 I'll rest you from early cup rounds and concentrate you solely on Premiership and champions league. Stan: That’s a very tempting offer Me: that’s not it Stan, I also want you to be assistant manager and chief scout and nurture the youth team. Stan: that’s a lot of responsibility, oh feck it Ill do it, Sharon Stone was shit shag anyway! Me: hang on Stan, I've got Smudger Smith on the other line, do you mind holding? Stan: Well actually............. Smudger: Hi, I was wondering if I could play for you. Wenger and I have had a tiff so I’m looking for a club. Me: Hi Smudger, I'm just about to secure a deal with Stan Collymore so funding is tight. smudger: STAN COLLYMORE!!!!!! I'll play for free, I’ll do anything, plllleeease. me: all right Smudger, 1k a week with a 1k signing on fee, but hang on ill have to check with Collymore. Me: Hello Stan, sorry to keep you waiting. Stan: FFS YOU DO NOT KEEP ME F**KING WAITING YOU PEICE OF SHITE Me: I'm sorry Stan; make that a 500K golden hello? Stan: you’re forgiven. Me: one more thing Stan, You will be playing upfront with Smudger Smith from Arsenal, is that ok? Stan: Come on, you know I like to work alone I'm not sure about this. Although I've had him on FM2006 and he played well with me upfront. Me: but surely you’re not in FM2006 Stan? Stan: (sobs slowly) Do you know what its like to have to edit yourself in everytime you want to play? Me: yes I do Stan! just out of interest how did your partnership with smudger get on? Stan: Smudger hit 25 in a season. Me: and you? Stan: just a sneaky 57, I missed a 35 yard free kick against Chelsea and I only managed 5 goals in the 7 following games. Me: That was a poor spell for you Stan, Stan: yeah I hope that doesn't happen for Leicester. Me: so you have agreed to sign? Stan: first tell me a little more about this Smudger. Me: Well, his probably got about 1/10th of your ability and 1/5th of your speed. Stan: So we're talking like Zidane standard. Me: that’s correct Stan Stan: well he's obviously got a lot to learn. me: others on foxestalk have talked about him, have you got your laptop handy? Stan: yes, I’m just on their now, just reading ric flairs comment "he's Collymore mark 11" I take it rics joking right? That Collymore seems to talk a lot of sense, A little obsessive if you ask me though! Ric is joking though? Me: you would hope so Stan, right, ill book your tickets to fly from LA to Leicester East midlands now and you can start training on tomorrow. Stan: training, you didn't mention that before, I don't want to train. Me: no problem Stan, whatever you want, your natural fitness will sort you out. See you on Saturday then for the Watford game. Stan: yep, cheers now, bye. brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hitesh Posted 13 October 2005 Share Posted 13 October 2005 Top stuff Collymore!!! Superb! If i was manager, i would go to the training ground and make sure that every player wanted to play for Leicester. I would say to them that i make the decisions around here and if no one likes it then they cna go. I would ask for passion, commitment and focus!!! Anyone who doesnt want to play for Leicester would be sold no matter how good they are! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Head Honcho Posted 13 October 2005 Share Posted 13 October 2005 Mrs Johansson i'm a sucker for a swedish bird I think i'm starting to get a clear picture of you King Kyle lcfc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anish Posted 13 October 2005 Share Posted 13 October 2005 Sell Williams. Terminate Morris's contract. Job done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gist Posted 13 October 2005 Share Posted 13 October 2005 Sell Williams. Terminate Morris's contract. Job done. williams needs to get his act together Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Arrow Posted 13 October 2005 Share Posted 13 October 2005 Get rid of De Vries - or at least stop playing him unless needed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Arrow Posted 13 October 2005 Share Posted 13 October 2005 How long did that take Collymore? Brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowman Posted 13 October 2005 Share Posted 13 October 2005 get rid of lee morris and then get a couple of youngster on loan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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