Double Entendres

[skinnydipper]

Got these by e-mail

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live'

said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11.. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12... Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.

[Zingari]

forgotten about a few of them

i thought " the bowlers Holding the batsmans Willey " would have made it in there ,

and the one about the women's relay team fumbling with the baton between their legs

and the one about the athlete who opened his legs to show his class

( can't remember who said them though)

[DB11]

Number 7's the best

[AmericanScott]

Number 7's the best

I agree

I'd do anything to see video footage of that.

[ACF]

Bahahahaha

[Webbo]

There are some more HERE.

[ACF]

They (Rosenborg) have won 66 games, and they've scored in all of them."

BRIAN MOORE, ITV

I never make predictions and I never will."

PAUL GASCOIGNE

"The shot from Laws was precise but wide."

ALAN PARRY

"The game is balanced in Arsenal's favour."

JOHN MOTSON

"Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead."

TOM FERRIE

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."

DAVID ACFIELD

"What I said to them at half time would be unprintable on the radio"

Gerry Francis

"If there weren't such a thing as football, we'd all be frustrated footballers."

Mick Lyons

"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat"

Ron Atkinson (1979)

"For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip"

John Motson - BBC TV

AND one I found earlier in the paper...

In that slow motion replay you can't actually see how quickly the ball was actually going.

Richie Benaud

[skinnydipper]

There are some more HERE.

Coleman is King

ACF liked yours too , though strictly they're not double entendres are they ?

There is a phrase for such blatantly twattish comments - I think it's a Rajism

[ACF]

All but the last one were from Webbo's site. Blame him not me.

[Miquel The Work Geordie]

Laughed at them all, if I'm honest.