Email and web use 'to be monitored' under new laws

[Guest]

I can't find it online, but there was a planned protest to copy the politician backing this into every single e-mail sent, just to completely spam up there inbox and make a mockery of the whole affair, I don't know if this ever happened and I can't find remember any details, such as the politician's name, I think it was a female politician, does that make her a politicienne? but other than that I can't remember. Anyone know?

Yeah I saw that on FB earlier.

National cc all your emails to Theresa May Day

Don't think there's a date set as yet

[BoneDog]

There's a Simpson's episode with Eddie Izzard in where they take the piss out of the amount of surveillance cameras in the U.K.

I don't think I've ever seen a full episode of the SImpsons!

Saw this video earlier, is it a new story or have I just missed it? It's not just the government who snoop at our emails then. Even the news people are doing it. We are governed by lieing scum (top levels) and we are fed our views in the news by scum who hack and delete messages from dead childrens phones. Is there anyone left in a position of power to trust?

[Saxondale]

Which leaves the the rest of us with all of our data being handled by these people who leave laptops on trains and attack plans on memory sticks in cafes. Your data that has been collected by organisations in the past and then sold on to corporations...

I firmly believe that if they push ahead with it they will regret it - it will be tantamount to declaring war upon the innocent and the internet...and they are far too thick to win.

Totally inept losers confident they can lock down the internet

A GOVERNMENT that can barely send an email has unveiled somewhat ambitious plans to rule the web with an iron fist.

Bolstered by successfully bungling an imaginary fuel crisis and impressively failing to deliver a hot snack reference, the coalition feels it is ready to exert total control over an enormously complicated and abstract network of lightning-fast electronic information.

Prime minister David Cameron, who still uses an AOL email account, said: "The internet is just a bunch of computers connected with wire, like a slightly more elaborate version of those baked-bean-can-and-string pretend telephones we used to make as kids.

"So spying on pretty much everything that happens on it will be a piece of piss."

Civil rights campaigner Nikki Hollis said: "On the one hand, it's deeply worrying that the government is seeking to create a surveillance culture that encompasses spying on all digital media.

"On the other, that same government would struggle to arrange a children's party if provided with a clown, a bouncy castle, some children and an unlimited supply of jelly.

"So it's hard to say whether we should be worried or mildly amused."

Home Secretary Theresa May said: "I have a total understanding of the internet. I've actually got it on my computer.

"Well, not the actual one in my office, but the shared computer in the meeting room we use to play games at lunchtime."

May further defended the plans by barking the new government slogan 'Paedo 9/11' in response to questions and has commissioned a children’s cartoon where ‘Blinky’ the security eye helps people find lost car keys in a bid to make it less terrifying,

May added: “It’s a well known fact that anybody planning to do something unspeakable, either with a bomb or their own penis, will chat about it at length with lots of other people using their own home computer and phone.

"Paedo 9/11.”

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/totally-inept-losers-confident-they-can-lock-down-the-internet-201204035088/

[Daggers]

Since when did the Daily Mash stop doing spoof & irony and started writing real news stories?

...who still uses an AOL email account...

My favourite bit.

[Saxondale]

My favourite bit.

Mine too. Probably accurate as well.

[davieG]

Draft Communications Data Bill cannot proceed - Nick Clegg