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MikeyT

Coronation Street Actor Charged With Child Sex Offences

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Posted

I can write this ending for Kevin Webster.

Don't log onto this unless you have a liberal boss. It's really NSFW.

After being found plums deep in Gail Platt, he is brutally beaten by Sally with one of Sophie's rubber dildos. Hurt, bruised and smelling of his daughter's minge, Webster is vengeful. Vengeful enough to shove his entire tool kit up Sally's gash, spanner by spanner.

However, there's an unexpected twist as Sally loves it. I mean really loves it. In Coronation Street's first ever 3D episode, she squirts at the camera and breaks what film students know as 'the fourth wall.'

Kevin is now sporting what can only be described as a diamond cutter of an erection, and follows his spanners up Sally's glistening spam wallet. After an hour of particularly heavy and some would say unnecessarily rough sexual intercourse, he ejaculates with such ferocity that Sally dare not sneeze for a week.

At this point, Rosie returns with her tits bouncing around like a cocker spaniel on acid. She lets herself in and is greeted by the sight of her parents sweating and rutting heavily, her mother dripping with spunk and fishy spanners on the sofa. Shocked and horrified, she lets out a yelp.

The Websters turn around mid-rut. Sally now knows she has to explain why she looks like a cross between a plasterer's radio and Patches O'Houlihan's travel bag, without the rubber balls. Kevin has a large dildo shaped bruise on his head and an Allen key lodged down his Jap's Eye. This is going to take some explaining.

Rosie runs out of the house in horror; her naked and sweaty parents following, sounding like a pair of badly assembled Cybermen as they go. At this point, Sally is hit by Ken Barlow's car, who is being fellated deeply by Rita and therefore not paying full attention to the extraordinary scene. Sally is relatively unhurt, but an unusually powerful fanny fart launches Kevin's favourite and particularly oily spanner into the centre of his head, killing him outright.

The Street leave their pubs and bedrooms to observe Kevin sprawled out lifelessly on the cobbles. Sally sobs, and the Street returns to its near perpetual state of shock.

The next E.L. James. She started off writing fan fiction too.

Posted

Realised that last post makes me sound a smug tit.

If I end up with E.L. James' money, I'm happy.

Posted

MTWG will be devastated

I just came in to say that you and MTWG will be dev lol Thought you were both fans.

On a side note, I popped onto a forum earlier and saw a thread that said "Venables Exposed", and I thought oh f*&kin hell no, please not owd Terry, but turns out it was just a post about someone giving away Jon Venables whereabouts to the press or something. Huge relief I tell you.

Posted

Surely they should just write him being a paedophile into the show like they often do with pregnancies. If he's got to go they should axe him in the most embarrassing way possible. Plus it would be a nice convenient way of mentally scarring one of Corrie's young girls (or boys, not sexist) which will come in handy down the line when they need someone to do something crazy to spice things up a bit.

I can't think when the last paedophile storyline was but they always get a lot of attention. Viewers love a paedo.

Yeah why the hell not we have already a story line that involved a homosexual turning straight and his girlfriend sucking his cock knowing it had been up the Marmite motorway of the overlocking queen. All done in the best possible taste.

So why not a story line to convince us that Paedophilia is perfectly normal and exceptable in this new enlightened age . After all that's what a certain lobby did.

Posted

He's been found guilty already? Fvck me, there was me thinking a court would have due process.

Yes indeed a court with a judge who wears a a wig to impress the children.

Posted

How about the chocolate starfish or the fudge funnel and the Daddies sauce drop ?

Dinner masher was the only one I'd ever heard until I came on this forum.

Posted

Dinner masher was the only one I'd ever heard until I came on this forum.

I've heard Anal sex referenced to the chimney sweep position,but only in certain quarters. :thumbup:

Posted

He's been found guilty already? Fvck me, there was me thinking a court would have due process.

I think the discussion is more to do with speculation on how he's going to be written out of Corry , not so much his guilt or innocence.

You don't post much on here these days , any specific reasons, or have you just generally got weary of it all ?

Posted

He's been found guilty already? Fvck me, there was me thinking a court would have due process.

You are just so much fun. Like a fine wine, getting better with age.

Posted

You are just so much fun. Like a fine wine, getting better with age.

I think Daggers would rather gets his lips around a blue nun :)

Posted

I think the discussion is more to do with speculation on how he's going to be written out of Corry , not so much his guilt or innocence.

You don't post much on here these days , any specific reasons, or have you just generally got weary of it all ?

He's well out of his depth these days. Him and nick are probably posting over at the low-IQ society where they feel more at home.

Posted

He's well out of his depth these days. Him and nick are probably posting over at the low-IQ society where they feel more at home.

He's well out of his depth these days. Him and nick are probably posting over at the low-IQ society where they feel more at home.

either that or they are still licking their wounds ( dirty buggers )

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