Tall Tales From Walter Mitty Characters

[Vacamion]

Now that the "Walter Mitty" film is being plugged...Do any of you have any examples of stories you've heard about or been told, preferably by serial fantasists (ie bullshitters), which made you stroke your chin and say "Oh REALLY?".

 

(If you went to Lanky Boys in the mid 80s, you would say "Yeah Greg".  Most other kids would say "Chinny ReckON")

 

I can think of a couple:

 

For work, I had to interview a bloke in a council flat in East Kilbride who answered his door in a "Once a Marine Always A Marine" military style T Shirt.  He told me he'd been in both the Paras and the Marines (he had actually been an IT consultant and then unemployed for several years).  He was claiming against the Council for the loss of a stamp collection he valued at "several million pounds - maybe £18million" which he said the Council binmen had taken away when he had happened to temporarily leave the collection outside his flat.   The stamps had, he asserted, been collected over the years by (dead or uncontactable) relatives and he was keeping them as a "retirement fund", having never had them valued, seen by anyone else or independently confirmed as existing.     

 

When we were 14, a guy at school used to regale us with stories of sex with an alleged "girlfriend" (blonde, large breasted, several years older than him, a tigress in the bedroom) whom we never met and who was said to live in (to us, then) faraway Kirby Muxloe - our schoolfriend was a diminutive, acne-ridden lad whose voice was struggling to break.  When I first saw Jay from the Inbetweeners, it was like listening to that lad again...

 

And then of course there was "Mr 14 pints a day" (every working day).

 

 

Any others?

[Zingari]

There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis 

[Webbo]

There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis 

Just like you swore to me that you'd be true?

[Zingari]

Just like you swore to me that you'd be true?

OK I might have made some rash promises in the heat of the passionate moment . 

It was just a "paradise by the dashboard light" outburst , ( meatloaf song reference )

forgive me ?

[Alf Bentley]

OK I might have made some rash promises in the heat of the passionate moment . 

It was just a "paradise by the dashboard light" outburst , ( meatloaf song reference )

forgive me ?

 

Don't beat yourself up about it, Zingari.

 

You might not love Webbo, but provided that you want him and need him, I reckon 2 out of 3 ain't bad...

[Zingari]

Don't beat yourself up about it, Zingari.

 

You might not love Webbo, but provided that you want him and need him, I reckon 2 out of 3 ain't bad...

I would do anything for love , but i wont do that 

[Alf Bentley]

I would do anything for love , but i wont do that 

 

 

 

Must work...