Danizen

Oh, and I must say, teenagers. Everything about this generation really grinds my gears, and I have to grow up with them every step of the way...

Firstly, their fashion sense. What's with the tacky, hippy coloured, zigzag lined t-shirt shit going on? And those shirts with seagulls and that gay small collar. That's awful. And what's with the moustache craze for the women?

Secondly, haircuts. Why do lads have the tendency to shave their sides and back and keep an ugly, curly, floppy disgrace of a fringe or hairspray it back, looking ultra gay... And don't get me started on those Ray Ban bulky glasses.

The music in general has gone downhill, too. I go to a club and expect to listen to progressive dance/electronica. What do I ear? The terrifying sound of dubstep. And mainstream shit. Wtf happened?

Also, it's worrying that I don't know another lad my age that's a virgin. It's like everyone's mind is set to sex 24/7... Talking about wishing your life away. I call this generation Armageddon. Because it simply is triggering the end of humanity.

Do yourself a favour, mate. Don't go to McDonalds on a Saturday afternoon. There's usually about 70 of the fookers outside.

I'm guilty of that

People who approach Tesco self-service checkouts as if they are Indiana Jones and it is an Aztec puzzle that has been unsolved for centuries.

IT'S NOT THAT FOOKING DIFFICULT!

Reminds me of the nerds at school who on a hot day would be inside reading What car? magazine while the rest of us were outside playing football and trying to impress the girls.

Our science teacher used to let all the geeky boys play chess and Pokemon cards in her classroom during lunch. I'm usually a live and let live kind of guy but each and every one of these sad fookers would bring a packed lunch and stink out the place and I had to sit there after break trying not to puke up at the smell of some pap smear's egg mayonnaise.

When you are talking about an attractive girl and someone informs you that they 'would'. Of course you would, you're 19 stone and haven't had a girlfriend in ten years. In future, I'll just assume that any woman who doesn't have a beard or a full face tattoo would meet your standards. You don't need inform me.

And besides, you would, she DEFINITELY wouldn't so it's a moot point.

I once walked through the kids clothes section in primark looking for a crap gift for my nephew. I was on my way to a conference so was wearing a sharp tailored suit, an expensive watch and was freshly groomed. I tell you what, if you're ever desperate to get laid and will stoop to an underclass single mother, try walking around the kids clothes section in primark looking like you have a bit of money. They were practically lining up on their knees with their mouths open and ready. It would be harder to get laid in a brothel.

What kind of willy puller buys his nephew clothes from Primark for his birthday? That poor, little bastard must hate you so much.

Watched Don't call me crazy on BBC3.

An eye opener for me, it's about mental health issues in young people. Might be a common misconception to some people for things that appear trivial and easy to fix such as OCD and refusing and the program did a good job of showing otherwise.

I watched that. At first I felt immense sympathy for these people but then I got distracted by the one with the big, mad eyes. Beth, I think her name is. There's something strangely hot about her.

I found out I'm currently going through what's called a quarter-life crisis (I prefer to call it a mid-youth crisis). I'm giving deep thought into how my life's going, looking at the goals I set myself when I was 18 and laughing at how naive I was.

I need a fecking holiday.

Love this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HbaqlcmDCA

A bizarre bra has gone on sale which is designed to help women hide a bottle of wine in their underwear during a night out.The 'Wine Rack Bra' looks like a normal sports bra, but actually holds 750ml (an entire bottle of wine) inside the cups.

 

 

A full bottle of wine?

Stuart Hall's pathetic sentence. 15 months? He should have got 10 years.

It doesn't 'grind my gears' it gets me absolutely livid!

Just been in Tesco. They're having a clear out of Father's Day stuff. The best being a Nivea For Men gift set of face wash and moisturiser. From £10 down to £5. I don't usually use moisturiser but I always buy the face wash which is top notch and costs nearly £4 on it's own. Further down the aisle, you can get the exact same things separately for a total cost of £14.

Has anybody tried this before? http://www.flubit.com/

 

Surprised it isn't more famous, you find any product online and they reply within 2 days offering the product to sell to you cheaper.

 

Very good for expensive products eg. tv's, laptops etc.

That's a brilliant business idea. I bet they earn tonnes of commission from lesser known sites. I'm getting a new PC next month so I'll have a look on there.

Driving down Narborough Road at 6:30 this morning, I saw some old dear in a wheelchair in her front garden. I thought, "ah, that's nice. She's getting a bit of fresh air watching the world go by." However, on my way home at 5:30 she was still out there in the pouring rain. I'm actually quite concerned.

The power button on my phone is stuck and since it's a touchscreen, this is bad news.

I've put a couple of drops of appliance oil from my electric shaver around the button in the hopes it will unstick the button. I thought this is a risk worth taking since if the power button is damaged, it's pretty much unusable.

I'll find out in the morning if it's worked.

Watching Deal or No Deal for the first time in about three years. How the **** has Noel Edmonds not topped himself out of boredom? Why do they applaud when the £250k is taken out? And does Mr. Edmonds realise he now looks like a Pat Sharpe tribute act from 1989?

#cvnt #twat #shithead #papsmear #dickhead etc, etc...

Racism to the likes of Finnegan is connecting a non-white person with something that could be considered to be negative. Even if what you are saying is completely true and proven beyond doubt, the fact that you've said it makes you racist. It would be funny if it wasn't so disturbing.

No it isn't. It does take a certain kind of right-wing disabled to demonise all Muslims for the actions of a psychotic, misguided few, though.

Right then, so far we have:

 

Schweinsteiger anytime assist @ 4/1

Ribery anytime booking @ 4/1

Robben MOTM @ 6/1

Bayern/Reus anytime @ 12/1

Robben to have the most shots @ 4/1

 

All pretty small stakes just for fun. And I've got one more bet left but i dunno what to go for.

To go to pens?

The ****er in a green car who has approached three girls in my village in the past two weeks. Two 5 year olds and a 12 year old all in broad daylight.

Shit! Are the police involved?

People who allow their young children to do their shopping for them. It might be fun for them but they haven't got a clue what you want , have no concept of space or the fact they are in everybody's way causing a potential accident or collision which would of course be my fault all because you gave in to your child's incessant whining about how they want to get the milk for you and continuously get the wrong one whilst you stand 3 yards away pointing and in finally picking the right one and knocking everything over they realise they can't lift it!!......

Gimps!!!!!!!

And breath!!

People in supermarkets is a good one. It's as if they try to get in your way.

We all know that when it gets close to closing time, supermarkets sell what's left of their fresh food heavily discounted. Tonight, I've learned that time is 8:30pm. I was doing my shopping earlier and wondering why 25-30 people were

waiting by the bakery when a staffer walked out with her sticker thing. It really pissed me off that I had to wait for these nobs to move before I could carry on. All to save 18p on a box of doughnuts, or whatever.

Beautiful. Just beautiful.