Danizen

Man Utd and Barcelona both with a -1 handicap.

£5 pays £31.62

They will be rolling out the reserves, mate.

£10 on Man City, Chelsea and Stoke

Returns £45

Love this. So funny.

He's just not very photogenic, is he?

I've got 24p on everyone in the world using the toilet today, 1553/1. All I had in me account

I'm going to hold it in just to spite you.

Unlucky. You can guarantee if you'd done sevenfolds, six would have come in. Just the way it goes.

West Brom away to Wigan tomorrow @ 11/5.

They've not won away in their 4 games yet, but they've been to Spurs, Fulham & Newcastle, places not many teams win at. West Brom are much better than Wigan. Surely?

They should hammer them but you know what Wigan are like.

Cardiff Vs Hull - Evens

Peterborough Vs Palace - 3/1 (anything can happen in this league)

Arsenal Vs Fulham - 8/15

Southampton Vs Swansea - 2/1

Everrton Vs Sunderland draw - 3/1

Fourfolds, total stake £10.

Barack Obama is still available at 2/9 to win the election. Value?

Exactly people take the piss, I would love to see your strike record. I wasn't on but Falcao does score a hell of a lot.

I had a look but odds of 5/2 for the wincast away to Valencia scared me off. Maybe next week...

I have United-Arse in my BTTS bet and Cazorla in my dream team so I LOVE the man!

BTTS:

Sunderland-Villa

Palace-Blackburn

Watford-Leicester

Norwich-Stoke

United-Arsenal

£5 on; £70 back

Fourfold:

Fulham/Everton Draw

Sunderland

Norwich

Brum

Chelsea

£10 on £290 back

There is a few going for the 10k challenge this time in 70 days we will all be rich I tell you!!

I won't. I got on Chelsea at 7/4 just after they equalised and and were looking rampant.

I'd stay clear of United, mate. These kind of games can change so quickly. Especially with United's comedy defense.

I've just made the biggest betting mistake you can make.. betting on liverpool to win

Shiiiiiit. Last minute goal wrongly chalked off for offside. Unlucky!

Ah never mind. I'll just keep it all written down on paper so I know what's what. Might open another account for my second attempt if this one fails.

EDIT : I was on Skybet at 2.40pm and Rangers were winning 2-0. Not sure how long was left but Rangers were 1/50000 to win, they were still taking bets! Does that mean that you'd have to put £500,000 on to win £10?

Hate to be smug but I got on them at 1/16. I'll get to ten grand before you!

I've got Stoke to beat Sunderland, Villa to beat Norwich (I know, I know...) and Reading/Fulham to draw. £10 wins £126. And I've got a fiver on Chelsea/Draw Halftime/Fulltime @ 11/1

I had Germany and Slovenia with England-Poland draw/draw to pad it out. Obviously that's void and...oh, lovely, Slovenia are losing. After a decent start to the season, betting-wise but I reckon I'm about even.

Would have won £180 if Scotland had managed to hold on for another two minutes against Wales.

Very interesting. An old calculator. Very clever and beautiful. I want one!

Had 3-2 Barcelona and 3-2 Real Madrid. My mate does these bets and they seem to come in quite regularly.

The last one he won was Real Madrid-Man City

Balls.

15/1 Barca 22/1 Real Not huge odds but a reasonable punt

Had 3-2 Barcelona and 3-2 Real Madrid. My mate does these bets and they seem to come in quite regularly.

The last one he won was Real Madrid-Man City

The pervasive use of Sloop John B as the basis for 90% of new songs is my number 1 pet hate about modern football.

There are literally millions of other songs you could use.

Only got one song, only got one soooooooong,

English football has only got one song.

we may need a fleet now and i took the liberty of sending them to the signwriters

You want to ask for your fookin money back, mate. It looks terrible.

That being said, ticket for one, please.

Also had a tenner on United, Valencia, Chelsea -1 and Juve/Shaktar draw.

Devastated. Had a check on this and realised I'd FORGOTTEN that I'd put Galatasary on there as well.