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Wortho

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About Wortho

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  1. Went to the doctors a few weeks back and he prescribed me suppositories for my ailment.Took one every day with a glass of water.For what good they did I might as well stuck them up my arse
  2. The wife was trying to be sexy for me last night. When I came up the stairs, I found her lying naked on the bed, licking a lollipop. Then she slipped it up her fanny... I said, "Careful with that, love. You'll need it to help the children across the road tomorrow!"
  3. I went to the doctor and said "I've got a problem inside of my left ear"He said "Are you sure?"I said "I'm definite"
  4. Jamie Oliver's restaurants go into adminestrone
  5. I am absolutely delighted with the result. All this nonsense about the Watford fans waving their flags for the last 10 minutes. I think they only did that so they couldn't see another goal going in their goal. It was a battering as Gray has said and it really was an embarrassing performance. Most of them packed up at two nil.
  6. An undercover cop called at a farm... “I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs”, he said. “By all means officer, just don’t go in that field over there”, the farmer replied. The cop exploded, saying “Do you know who the f..k I am?! I have the authority of the government with me!”, he shouted before pulling a badge out of his back pocket, “Do you see this f...ing badge?! This badge means I can do what I want and I’ll go wherever I want, have I made myself clear?” The farmer nodded politely, apologised, and went about his chores. A short while later, he heard loud screams and looked up and saw the cop running for his life being chased by an angry bull. With each step, the bull was gaining ground and he seemed sure to be gored before he reached safety. The officer looked terrified and continued to run for his life. The farmer threw down his tools, immediately ran to the edge of the fence and shouted at the top of his lungs, “Your badge, show him your f...ing badge!”
  7. I am sorry you do not appreciate good jokes
  8. Warren can poke that where the sun don't shine
  9. Gomez played 12 minutes this year. Lingard is absolute shite Delph never plays, 3rd choice Dier and Rose are spurs bench warmers Winks has just had an operation. Kane injured. CL final is a few days before this and yet the squad is full of Lfc and Spurs players??
  10. I actually want Man City to hammer them and Mahrez to score 4!!
  11. I live near Watford and I can't stand them or their idiotic fans. I would never hear the end of it if they should win. From Elton John to Troy Deeney surely that explains it.
  12. The Kama Sutra contains 64 sexual positions. The wife's position on all of them is... "No..!!!"
  13. Have you ever touched your inner self? I did this morning, bloody Tesco's value toilet paper
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