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Wortho

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About Wortho

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  1. Is it because Sturgeon is Scottish? Who knows? Nobody knows!!
  2. Good answer but not funny
  3. The Pope was being driven around Glasgow in the Pope Mobile when the Pope says ' I've been sitting in the back of this thing for years how's about giving me a wee shot of driving ? ' So , the Chauffeur gets out and sits in the back and allows the Pope to drive - however , not being used to the sensitive accelerator he goes over the speed limit and is pulled over by a Policeman . The Policeman immediately phones his office back in Govan and says to his mate ' You'll never guess who I pulled over today ? ' . ' Dunno , Steven Gerrard , Rangers Manager ? ' . ' No , higher up than that ' . ' Dunno , Nicola Sturgeon ? ' . ' No , much higher up than her ' . ' Dunno , who was he then ? ' . ' Well , I don't know who he was but he's got the Pope as his chauffeur !! ' .
  4. Does anyone think Praet and Albrighton look similar.
  5. I caught my Sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, “stop that, I was going to eat that later. Now it’s just going to taste of carrots.”
  6. My hoover is a waste of space.... It just sits in the corner gathering dust.
  7. A man bought his dog a trumpet that he could play on The Tube. It only took him an hour to go from barking to tooting.
  8. Painted half of my face like a clown today and went for a drive. Not sure everyone saw the funny side.
  9. A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact: " Marion .... Marion " "Is that you, Bob?" "Yes, I've come back like we agreed." "That's wonderful! What's it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again" "Oh, Bob! Are you in Heaven?" "No -- I'm a rabbit in Kent"
  10. Have you not seen mine!!!
  11. On our honeymoon my wife asked if I knew where her clitoris and g-spot were. I said, " How the **** should I know? You packed the cases".
  12. I can't remember that far back. And thanks for researching my previous jokes
  13. What do you call a Chinese woman with a food processor on her head? Brenda
  14. I was walking down the street minding my own business when someone threw a lump of cheese and a bottle of milk at me. How very dairy!
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