Ultra

On last season's evidence, Glamorgan are welcome to him.

Behave. Anyone who p!sses off the po-faced fascists at the Daily Mail must have something going for them.

Well said. It's not like they're putting lives at risk. While they should and will be moved from the park (probably next week), part of the problem lies with those councils who refused to provide adequate sites for them when there was a legal duty for them to do so.

Here's one shop which should definitely be shut down... TK Maxx sells jacket with KNIFE attached Given the event earlier this year when a TK Maxx storeworker in Leicester was stabbed to death, this is particularly vile. Just how low can they go to make a few quid?

Went to watch Somers Town, the latest movie by Shane Meadows, at the weekend. It's not a classic by any means, but was pleasant enough - certainly a lot more so than the England game would have been.

Beaten in two days - yuk! This season can't end soon enough..

HD passed 1000 runs for the season yesterday. No-one else in the side will get anywhere near that figure. By the way, England won by 20 runs, with TWO Leicester-born players, Samit Patel and Luke Wright, in the side. Patel did OK as a bowler, taking 1-42 off 10 overs.

Why did the US relay teams drop the baton at the Olympics? Because they're not used to handling anything that doesn't have a trigger..

Sky News did exactly the same thing... SICK JOKE ALERT In a recent survey asking Spanish tourists where they like to sleep on holiday, 90% said they prefered to just crash at the airport...

The article seemed sound enough to me. Spot on!

Our 20/20 chances have gone now. We can concentrate on promotion in the Championship.

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer - you're in the wrong place." So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

You should know by know that TPH is quite adept in the art of baiting. Indeed, some would argue he 's a true master at it.

We'll definitely be top of the league now. And Jeremy Snape has just coached Rajasthan to the IPL title. Happy days..

After having their 11th child, a Coventry couple decided that was enough, as the DWP wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough to nick one. The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The sky blue said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." "Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor. So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," ...at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand...

Why did audiences scream so loud at Beatles concerts? The shock of seeing four scousers working.

Lost to Warwickshire yesterday. Now need to beat Notts tomorrow in order to make the FPT quarter-finals. Hope they don't have Broad and Sidebottom back..

The Pope was sitting in his garden, when he suddenly felt the urge to masturbate. Because of the high walls around the garden he thought it would be alright. Just as he was reaching the vinegar strokes, he saw a flash from the top of the opposite wall. When he went to investigate, he saw a photographer there with camera in hand. The Pope asked him for the film in the camera because if the picture got out, it would ruin the Catholic faith. The photographer refused, stating that the picture that he has taken would earn him at least five thousand pounds. So the Pope did a deal with him and bought the camera off him for five thousand pounds. Later, the Pope was walking through the garden with the camera swinging on his shoulder. One of his cleaners saw him with the camera and said to him, "that's a nice camera you have there, how much did it cost you?" "I bought it off a photographer and it cost me five thousand pounds." "Five thousand pounds" exclaimed the cleaner, "he must have seen you coming!"

True enough, but the win would have taken us clear at the top of the league. I hope we don't regret the lost points at the end of the season.

It may not have burst yet. Essex are now 54-5.

Ended up with 6-24! Never played like that when he was with us, at least not in the County Championship..

David Masters was obviously fired up for Essex..

Indeed. Shame their next two home games are at Oakham though..

Another FP Trophy win today, at Northampton. Hope we can keep the run going at Trent Bridge tomorrow!

This team actually won today! OK, it's full of mediocre foreign signings, but at least it looks like being competitive this season.