Ultra

At least Ramprakash hasn't managed a ton this time..

Tatlow Road is possibly the scuzziest street in Leicester. I don't think anything can be done with it, except bulldoze it.

Dreadful start against Surrey today. Maybe the Aussies put a curse on us...

Will look into it. Usually a cracking atmosphere there..

A redneck cowboy rides into a town on a hot blistering day riding his horse with his dog following. He ties his horse and the dog under the shade of a tree and the redneck cowboy goes into the bar for a cold beer. About 20 minutes later a policeman comes in and asks who owns the dog tied under the tree. The redneck cowboy tells him that it's his. The policeman says, "Your dog is in heat". The redneck cowboy answers, "No way the dog's in heat. He's cool, cause he's tied under the shade of the tree". The policeman says, "No, you don't understand, your dog needs to be bred". The redneck cowboy shakes his head and says, "No way the dog needs bread, he's not hungry, I gave him beef jerky this morning". The policeman finally gets mad and says, "Look, your dog wants to have sex". The redneck cowboy looks at him and says.... "Go ahead, I always wanted a police dog."

An inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the following morning. One of the prison guards asked the inmate if he wanted something special for his last meal. The inmate declined the offer. Later, the prison guard asked the inmate if there was something special he wanted to do on his final day. Again, the inmate declined the offer. The following morning, as the inmate was being put before the firing squad, the guard asked him if he wanted a cigarette and a blindfold. "No," the inmate said, "just get it over with." "Well, is there anything that I can do for you before you go?" asked the guard. The inmate thought for a moment, then replied, "Actually, music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favourite song, from beginning to end, without any interruptions." The guard nodded and agreed. "Go ahead," said the guard. The inmate started, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall..."

Kasabian - Underdog.

Agreed...

The "thoughts" of Nick Griffin MEP () From Stormfront

Absolutely not! The point was their background may help to imply why they're more tolerant of abusers than they should be.

Yeah, it's at the place where your kids go..

Kasabian - Fire

Better get you a season ticket!

Sky said he was fit, but was apparently omitted because of our self-imposed limit on Kolpak players.

Need some of the bowlers to recover soon. The current batch aren't quite good enough. Henderson should have played today.

Transmission - Joy Division

Yep, I saw that. How lairy were those fans on the Western Terrace? I'm now watching a discussion on Newsnight on the anniversary of the D-Day landings. Apparently France have forgotten to invite the Queen this year....

Lancashire looked a bit rocky at times against Yorkshire tonight. We might be able to give them a decent game on Sunday in front of the Sky cameras.

Derbyshire have improved this season. They even won at Durham earlier this week. But this year and probably the next one too will be transition ones for us. We won't be challenging in any format until 2011 at the earliest.

A young blonde Newcastle girl, down on her luck, decided to end it all one night by casting herself into the cold, dark waters off Newcastle quayside. As she stood on the edge, pondering the infinite, a young sailor noticed her as he strolled by. "You're not thinking of jumping, are you pet?" he asked. "Yes, I am." replied the sobbing girl. Putting his arm around her, the kind sailor coaxed her back from the edge. "Look, nothing's worth that. I'll tell you what, I'm sailing off for America tomorrow. Why don't you stow away on board and start a new life over there? I'll set you up in one of the lifeboats on the deck, bring you food and water every night, and I'll look after you if you look after me - if you know what I mean." The girl, having no better prospects, agreed, and the sailor sneaked her on board that very night. For the next 3 weeks the sailor came to her lifeboat every night, bringing food and water, and making love to her until dawn. Then, during the fourth week, the captain was performing a routine inspection of the ship and it's lifeboats... He peeled back the cover to find the startled blonde, and demanded an explanation. The girl came clean, "I've stowed away to get to America. One of the sailors is helping me out, he set me up in here and brings me food and water every night ... and he's screwing me." The puzzled captain stared at her for a moment before a grin cracked his face and he replied.. "He certainly is pet, this is the South Shields Ferry!"

60s music video featuring Sandie Shaw & Dusty Springfield.

Too bad he's in jail, otherwise I'm sure he might have had a sniff of a game for us this year..

As a result of my recent promotion, I shall be in regular contact with a number of judges. I bet most of them come from a background where child abuse is often taken for granted.

Baby P's mother and stepdad jailed Hope they rot. They should never be released.