Ultra

If anything, the stands at the Britannia are actually further away from the pitch than they are at the Way.

This. If anyone says that a modern stadium cannot generate a decent atmosphere, I have a two-word reply for them - Stoke City.

Some credit crunch jokes.... How do you define optimism? A banker ironing five shirts on a Sunday. What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza? The pizza can still feed a family of four. Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the mornings? Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon. What's the difference between a banker and a pigeon? A pigeon can still leave a deposit on a new Ferrari.

Hadn't looked that far ahead. But yes, the opponents do seem a tad familiar. David Lloyd must enjoy his trips to Grace Road for the Lancs T20 games.

Yeah, he looks quite a prospect. So expect to see him to move a Division 1 side next year..

Not good, especially as Gloucester haven't won at home for nearly TWO YEARS..

Chelsea unveil new kit sponsor..

We should make the most of this victory. It may be our last for some time..

Can't believe she's been missing for two years now... Someone in Portugal must know what happened to her.

Anne Robinson on the Weakest Link. Her spiel is starting to wear a little thin...

...unless the weather intervenes. My diary's free that afternoon. I may be tempted to stroll down there..

Good stand between Dippenaar and Ackerman at the moment. So we should at least avoid an innings defeat.

Next Monday is Star Wars Day. May the 4th be with you...

A woman decides to post an ad in the local news paper: 'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.' She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away." So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?" Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"

I see Eric Cantona has made two films. Doubt whether either of them are likely to reach Leicester, though..

Finished 80-4. The Windies coach is whinging about the pitch. It may all be over in two days.

78-2 now. I see Martin Bodenham's one of the unpires at Grace Road. He was the ref when we won the 97 League Cup.

Watching MOTD2. Paul Gascoigne is a pundit.

1975 was the year of the County's first Championship title. And as the salver would have the names of both Illingworth and Gower on it, I can understand its value..

A lady is throwing a party where each guest shows up as their favorite emotion. A guest arrives dressed in green. "Envy!" she says, and lets him in. A lady comes dressed in red. She says, "Anger!" and lets her in. Two naked guys walk up to the front door. One guy is holding a bowl of pudding with his penis stuck in it, and the other guy has his penis in a hollowed-out pear. "Wait a minute," she says to them. "This is supposed to be an emotion party!" The first guy says, "Yeah, and I'm f**king dis-custard." The second guy says, "And I'm deep in dis-pear".

Leicestershire 183-9 declared. Loughborough Uni 264-5. Not exactly a promising start to the season..

Sad but true..

I'm watching Hamburg stuff Man City. I'll probably catch Panorama on iPlayer later.

Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at what he did; for years he guided merchant ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains. However, there was one thing different about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his quarters and open a small safe. In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the paper for a minute, and then lock it back up. Afterwards, he would go about his daily duties. For years this went on, and his crew became very curious. Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love? Everyone speculated about the contents of the strange envelope. One day the captain died at sea. After laying the captain's body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew into the captain’s quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope, and opened it and... The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others. Four words were on the paper; two lines with two words each: Port Left Starboard Right