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Craig

New Car

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Posted

Talking of new cars reminds me of a guy I used to coach at squash.

He wasn't ever going to be much good at squash but he was a larger than life character who lived a life full of anecdotes.

Anyway he traded exotic cars for a living and one day got his hands on his very first Roller.

Desperate to live the dream he decided on a holiday in the south of France - and how bad a decision was that?

First he took the gleaming Rolls onto the Dover-Calais ferry but succumbed to the lure of the bar and in next to no time found himself trundling off the ferry in France.

Trouble is, being a bit the worse for wear and totally unfamiliar with continental driving he'd not gone 800 yards into Northern France when he smashed his wondrous motor into a baker's van, courtesy of the fact he was driving on the wrong side of the road.

Undaunted he phoned for assistance, had his Roller relayed back home and continued his journey by train to St Tropez determined to have a good time in any case.

On arrival around 6-00 in the early evening he quickly located a harbour-side night spot and even more quickly (being forever flash in his heavy gold jewellery) located the prettiest sight in town and determined it was she who'd best make him forget the day's calamity.

So, from 6.30 till late (very late in fact) he plied the girl of his dreams with a meal, champagne galore and via every tale he could tell, established the perfect rapport.

Shamelessly he accompanied her back to his digs - already a size or two lighter in his wallet - only to discover at the moment of "triumph" that the girl of his dreams......................

......................................................................................... was a transvestite.!

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