Help!

[New England Fox]

Hi all,

I need some advice.

My life is in a complete and total mess! My girlfriend of 20 months has just broken up with me after I found out she has been lieing and cheating on me. I am really so very devastated as I was preparing to spend the rest of my life with this woman and was even planning on proposing to her in the New Year. Since I found out I've been unable to sleep for more than 2 or 3 hours a night. Everytime I close my eyes my brain just goes crazy with thoughts of everything that happened and it just wont let me rest. She was my life, I even moved over to America to start a new life with her and now its all over. I am barely eating either. I eat maybe one meal a day and after a few mouthfulls I just cant stomach taking anymore. I really dont know what to do, I've never suffered through a breakup this bad. I think its starting to make me ill. I trusted her so much and she has betrayed me in the worst way possible. In fact it hurts so bad that I can even cry about it, I just have that horrible constant pain in my chest.

What can I do?

[frenchy_lcfc]

Sorry About the Crisis you've had!

But what i think you should do is spend this weekend apart, just to think things through! Then when you come back you can see what actions you or her want to take!

Thats the only thing i can say to you at the minute!

So Good luck matey and hope it gets better soon!!

[EmLeee]

Similar thing happened to my parents. It's not easy. My mum isn't eating much now either.

It might not be the easiest thing to do, but you have to try and think of the positives - they're there, their just not easy to find

It'll get better soon

[Cat Burger]

There isn't anything anyone can say to you to make you feel better I don't think. It just gets better with time (or so people say I've never had a proper girlfriend)

Sorry about that though it sounds horrible! women ay?

[Katy]

Im really sorry to hear this, im rubbish at giving advice but I think the best thing to do is get yourself to the doctors to see if they can help with the physical side as for the mental side, you are going to feel like this for a while but it will pass and you'll be able to think more clearly and work out what your options are. Its always hard and feels like the worst thing in the world, which it is at the time but you really need a support network, is there anyone you can count on where you are? Its so bad you are away from your family as well. I really feel for you and I hope you come out the other end a stronger person - remember you can always talk to us.

[Head Honcho]

Move on..... that is the best advice I can give ya mate, even if getting back together is an option, the trust has gone and that is vital in any relationship.

I find the best cure for a broken heart is to take off for a couple of weeks recharge the batteries and weigh up your options when you get home.

Worst thing you can do is feel sorry for yourself and think it's the end of the world.

Good luck for the future.

[IDEA OR IKEA]

There isn't anything anyone can say to you to make you feel better I don't think. It just gets better with time (or so people say I've never had a proper girlfriend)

Sorry about that though it sounds horrible! women ay?

I second that, it gets better with time i promise, i broke up a few years back with a girl i had been seeing for two years, it was mad at first because the one person you always thought about is now the one person that you dont want to, but believe me it will pass and as one door closes anouther one opens - anouther person will come along - its sad to say but its hope!!

[Guest]

There's some good advice above, the only thing I can add is COME HOME.

Your friends and your family are here, and I'm sure things are worse without them to help get you through this. Even if it's just for a couple of weeks, it'll help.

Chin up.

[Thracian]

If all liars and cheats are denied entry into Heaven the stratosphere's gonna be teeming with lost souls.

You've learned a sobering lesson about human nature, you could take comfort in the fact that there are loads of folk suffering similarly and you could conclude that it was better to find out now rather than after you'd married.

But, human nature doesn't work like that. You've been wounded - and wounded pretty severely by the sound of it and, just like a physical injury, it will take time to mend.

Gradually, you'll be able to store the memories as part of the folklore, the flotsam and jetsom, the experience of your life and one day you will find new pathways opening up and new people will start to have importance.

There will be great troughs of depression, I am sure, and probably necessarily so, but the fewer days you allow yourself to be burdened with negativity and regret the sooner you can look forward again with renewed optimism. It's almost like missing a penalty really at 0-0 in the last minute of your dream Cup Final. Your world caves in, you feel awful, you go over and over what went wrong.

But nothing will give you that situation again. You can only heal by learning from the experience and moving forward with courage and determination, hopefully better prepared to fulfil your dreams in the future.

Good luck - and listen to Lisa. Get home for a while if you can.

[davieG]

When you do get over this and not if, don't let it affect your trust of other people.

Good Luck

[New England Fox]

better to find out now rather than after you'd married.

Been Married once already, she cheated on me as well.........

[Sophie]

sorry to hear about your breakup ...im not to good at giving advise so all i can say is chin u matey, and lisa's right come home spend some time with your family.

Hope everything works out for you! x

[Milky]

my advice is toughen up. look on the bright side, you still have your health. don't let her ruin your life, your stronger than that man, just get on with your life.