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US crippled by new STD

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Posted

Found this somewhere else--instant classic

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(AP) The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior.

The disease is called gonorrhea lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him")

Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.

Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with gonorrhea lectim include, but are not limited to.

Anti-social personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a

distinct messianic flavor.

chronic mangling of the English language.

extreme cognitive dissonance.

inability to incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia.

inability to accept responsibility for actions.

exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado.

uncontrolled facial smirking; ignorance of geography and history.

tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies.

and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.

The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago from a Texas Bush

Posted

Don't worry, I might have plenty more new ones to hear at 9 p.m. local time when Bush delivers the annual State of the Union speech.

He's going to say "America is addicted to oil"--I suppose we can thank his family for constantly pushing that "drug" to us. :ermm:

Posted

You wait till you read you're autobiography.

lol, i love it how you've made an effort to get your grammar/spelling right in this sentence, but still can't hide the fact that you're a thick shit. i thought you went to uni. jesus

Posted

you're right, as soon as i saw it said 'gonna re-elect him,' i knew it would be some anti-Bush bullshit and decided to not bother to read the rest of this shit joke

Posted

you're right, as soon as i saw it said 'gonna re-elect him,' i knew it would be some anti-Bush bullshit and decided to not bother to read the rest of this shit joke

Yeah - anything anti-Bush is bullshit. The man is a genius... :rolleyes:

Posted

I think you just don't get it.

It's actually quite funny if you understand it.

TPH,

You may think you understand, but you do not understand. You will never understand. Understanding of this kind is beyond you.

:D

freund is in his own world.

Posted

i'm in my own world just because i don't find some trite anti-Bush shit funny?

How do you know it was trite and unfunny? You've already said you didn't read it!

Troll!

Simon

Posted

lol , i love it how you've made an effort to get your grammar/spelling right in this sentence, but still can't hide the fact that you're a thick shit. i thought you went to uni. jesus

It's shocking isn't it? anyone can go to uni these days and get a degree, that's why there's so many graduates struggling to get a job. It keeps me out of work for another 4years so i ain't complaining :P

Posted

i'm in my own world just because i don't find some trite anti-Bush shit funny?

My comment had nothing to do with that.

I guess just another case of, "You may think you understand..."

Posted

It's shocking isn't it? anyone can go to uni these days and get a degree, that's why there's so many graduates struggling to get a job. It keeps me out of work for another 4years so i ain't complaining :P

Are you overqualified for most jobs then? :P

Posted

Are you overqualified for most jobs then? :P

We don't understand.

We could never understand.

Understanding of that kind is beyond us.

Or some other pseudo-intellectual but ultimately full-of-shit bollocks.

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