macbeth Posted 21 April 2006 Posted 21 April 2006 Thirteen things to do in the supermarket while your spouse/partner/significant other is taking his or her sweet time: 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples trolleys when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in the home ware section to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the toilets. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in home wares' and see what happens. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a sales assistant asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 8. Look into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. 9. While handling knives in the kitchen department ask the sales assistant if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 10. Scuttle around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible. 11. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through squeal: 'PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!' 12. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the foetal position and scream: 'NO! NO! NOT THE LEG! It's those voices again'. 13. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly 'Excuse me! We're out of toilet paper in here!'
Nationwider Posted 21 April 2006 Posted 21 April 2006 13. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly 'Excuse me! We're out of toilet paper in here!' That made me L.O.L Fry and Lawrie did a sketch like that once.
holly Posted 21 April 2006 Posted 21 April 2006 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples trolleys when they aren't looking. 11. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through squeal: 'PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!' 13. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly 'Excuse me! We're out of toilet paper in here!' these ones are excellent really made me chuckle
Katy Posted 21 April 2006 Posted 21 April 2006 Those are good, and im the kind of weirdo that would actually carry some of them out as well
Phube Posted 21 April 2006 Posted 21 April 2006 Very good!! But saying that, my friend used to work in a supermarket and one say at the checkout two menpaid for: one packet of condoms, one bottle of squirty cream and one a punnet of strawberries!! :eek: So you could try just buying strange (freaky) combinations of stuff!! i.e. Haemarhoid cream and a cucumber or summat!!!
Rincewind Posted 21 April 2006 Posted 21 April 2006 Thirteen things to do in the supermarket while your spouse/partner/significant other is taking his or her sweet time: 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the toilets. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in home wares' and see what happens. 8. Look into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. 9. While handling knives in the kitchen department ask the sales assistant if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 10. Scuttle around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible. 12. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the foetal position and scream: 'NO! NO! NOT THE LEG! It's those voices again'. 13. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly 'Excuse me! We're out of toilet paper in here!' Don't you think the security staff have trouble enough with the shoplifters? The above quotes are just the worst on the list.
Newcastle_Fox Posted 21 April 2006 Posted 21 April 2006 one of our initiations for our uni badminton team was to buy some tissues and a porn magazine and ask where the nearest toilet was.
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