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The People's Hero

Guide to being cool.

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Posted

As I'm approaching 10,000 I thought it's time to impart some of my undoubted earthly wisdom. Here are some tips to help you all be 'cool' posters.

Seriously, some of you need to listen in.

- Listen to and quote Half Man Half Biscuit. Seriously. All the cool cats are doing it.

- Lots of short snappy sentences. Lot's of full stops. No stupid long, poorly spelt paragraphs.

- If you must use an emoticon, make it a pirate.

- If Ultra says something, disagree with it.

- Send yourself lots of pms = full inbox = makes you appear even more popular.

- Get yourself a few trademark sayings... perhaps, OLE! or 'give me a mop' or 'cockbadger' or something along those lines. Repeat them until they become tedious and unfunny, you'll find eventually they go full circle.

- Where threads about LCFC are really taking off, see how quickly you can take it completely and irretrievably off topic. Farce is king.

- Be outrageous from time to time. Sexism goes down well sometimes. Suggest Jesus is in to brothels or something.

- Go in to the 'What Are You Listening To Now?' thread and completely make up an obscure sounding band/song. Makes you look alternative, obscure, interesting and cool (which you are not, by the way).

Posted

As I'm approaching 10,000 I thought it's time to impart some of my undoubted earthly wisdom. Here are some tips to help you all be 'cool' posters.

Seriously, some of you need to listen in.

- Listen to and quote Half Man Half Biscuit. Seriously. All the cool cats are doing it.

- Lots of short snappy sentences. Lot's of full stops. No stupid long, poorly spelt paragraphs.

- If you must use an emoticon, make it a pirate.

- If Ultra says something, disagree with it.

- Send yourself lots of pms = full inbox = makes you appear even more popular.

- Get yourself a few trademark sayings... perhaps, OLE! or 'give me a mop' or 'cockbadger' or something along those lines. Repeat them until they become tedious and unfunny, you'll find eventually they go full circle.

- Where threads about LCFC are really taking off, see how quickly you can take it completely and irretrievably off topic. Farce is king.

- Be outrageous from time to time. Sexism goes down well sometimes. Suggest Jesus is in to brothels or something.

- Go in to the 'What Are You Listening To Now?' thread and completely make up an obscure sounding band/song. Makes you look alternative, obscure, interesting and cool (which you are not, by the way).

I am currently listening to The Trumpton Riots... so heres a quote

tell PC McGarry to get himself a mate, And arm themselves with CS gas - they're going to be out late

does this make me a cool cat??????

Posted

As I'm approaching 10,000 I thought it's time to impart some of my undoubted earthly wisdom. Here are some tips to help you all be 'cool' posters.

Seriously, some of you need to listen in.

- Listen to and quote Half Man Half Biscuit. Seriously. All the cool cats are doing it.

- Lots of short snappy sentences. Lot's of full stops. No stupid long, poorly spelt paragraphs.

- If you must use an emoticon, make it a pirate.

- If Ultra says something, disagree with it.

- Send yourself lots of pms = full inbox = makes you appear even more popular.

- Get yourself a few trademark sayings... perhaps, OLE! or 'give me a mop' or 'cockbadger' or something along those lines. Repeat them until they become tedious and unfunny, you'll find eventually they go full circle.

- Where threads about LCFC are really taking off, see how quickly you can take it completely and irretrievably off topic. Farce is king.

- Be outrageous from time to time. Sexism goes down well sometimes. Suggest Jesus is in to brothels or something.

- Go in to the 'What Are You Listening To Now?' thread and completely make up an obscure sounding band/song. Makes you look alternative, obscure, interesting and cool (which you are not, by the way).

uh oh rumbled!! :whistle:

Posted

Most importantly though.... this applies to many of you... (although not those who have posted in this thread)

Stop taking yourselves so seriously!

No one else takes you seriously!

Posted

Most importantly though.... this applies to many of you... (although not those who have posted in this thread)

Stop taking yourselves so seriously!

No one else takes you seriously!

AT LAST.... a real gem!! :thumbup:

Posted

I'm a great role model made... a real people's hero.

:cry: I can feel a retirement looming...but will he limp over the the 10K finish line

Posted

I could 'retire' on 9,999 to give everyone else a sniff (like people who are actually bothered) and then beat them at the last minute. Or not.

lol now that would be funny...but surely people wouldnt bother as they would think that you are waiting to pounce at any moment

Posted

I could 'retire' on 9,999 to give everyone else a sniff (like people who are actually bothered) and then beat them at the last minute. Or not.

That's you all over - lurking with intent. ;)

Posted

That's you all over - lurking with intent. ;)

Sounds pretty much like TPH.. Which leads me to ask the question "How was he actually elected as The People's Hero??" :blink::unsure:

Posted

I nominated him. I am The People.

Such idiotic remarks :whistle::ph34r:

Thanks for that Fezzler, answers my question perfectly well :thumbup: It also explains to me why you and he post together and understand each other 99.9% of the time :yesyes:

:P

Posted

- Send yourself lots of pms = full inbox = makes you appear even more popular.

I have never done that but I always forget to delete PMs.

And there is always only one message free (if I remember to leave that much room).

Does that count? :P

- Where threads about LCFC are really taking off, see how quickly you can take it completely and irretrievably off topic. Farce is king.

Learnt that from you and LWICD :thumbup:

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