Scow Posted 24 February 2005 Share Posted 24 February 2005 How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. ------------------------------------------------------------------- I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Boy ain't this the truth! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted 24 February 2005 Share Posted 24 February 2005 How many men does it take to open a beer?None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. ------------------------------------------------------------------- I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Boy ain't this the truth! 70658[/snapback] Mr Scowcroft - does a sweet innocent member of the human race such as yourself really believe that - or have you been hanging around with the wrong crowd? Tis funny tho Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scow Posted 24 February 2005 Author Share Posted 24 February 2005 No comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted 24 February 2005 Share Posted 24 February 2005 No comment. 70660[/snapback] That will be right! I dunno Scow you look like butter wouldnt melt....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted 24 February 2005 Share Posted 24 February 2005 You're cruising for a bruising young man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scow Posted 24 February 2005 Author Share Posted 24 February 2005 You're cruising for a bruising young man! 70669[/snapback] Eeek! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shen Posted 24 February 2005 Share Posted 24 February 2005 some good ones in there, Scowy :thumbsup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirkup21 Posted 24 February 2005 Share Posted 24 February 2005 Some funny ones there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Daniel Posted 24 February 2005 Share Posted 24 February 2005 What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. Classic joke, I love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wellman Posted 24 February 2005 Share Posted 24 February 2005 haha, quality scowy, this is the best one... How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.." B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Posted 24 February 2005 Share Posted 24 February 2005 Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.rth and rested. 70658[/snapback] That's the best one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anish Posted 24 February 2005 Share Posted 24 February 2005 Nice one Scowy, some good 'uns there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomassi Posted 24 February 2005 Share Posted 24 February 2005 .. scowy actually tells decent jokes?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scow Posted 24 February 2005 Author Share Posted 24 February 2005 ..scowy actually tells decent jokes?? 70933[/snapback] They weren't even mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomassi Posted 24 February 2005 Share Posted 24 February 2005 ..scowy actually tells decent jokes?? 70933[/snapback] They weren't even mine. 70937[/snapback] aha.. for sTealing jokes u must face the DEATH PENALTY!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobbo Posted 25 February 2005 Share Posted 25 February 2005 ..scowy actually tells decent jokes?? 70933[/snapback] They weren't even mine. 70937[/snapback] aha.. for sTealing jokes u must face the DEATH PENALTY!!! 70950[/snapback] Quiet you, traitor :o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scow Posted 25 February 2005 Author Share Posted 25 February 2005 ..scowy actually tells decent jokes?? 70933[/snapback] They weren't even mine. 70937[/snapback] aha.. for sTealing jokes u must face the DEATH PENALTY!!! 70950[/snapback] Quiet you, traitor :o 70995[/snapback] Death penalty for Tom... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomassi Posted 25 February 2005 Share Posted 25 February 2005 ..scowy actually tells decent jokes?? 70933[/snapback] They weren't even mine. 70937[/snapback] aha.. for sTealing jokes u must face the DEATH PENALTY!!! 70950[/snapback] Quiet you, traitor :o 70995[/snapback] Death penalty for Tom... 71069[/snapback] broken legs for u both on sunday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shen Posted 25 February 2005 Share Posted 25 February 2005 ..scowy actually tells decent jokes?? 70933[/snapback] They weren't even mine. 70937[/snapback] aha.. for sTealing jokes u must face the DEATH PENALTY!!! 70950[/snapback] Quiet you, traitor :o 70995[/snapback] Death penalty for Tom... 71069[/snapback] broken legs for u both on sunday 71090[/snapback] Just watch out, or they might squeeze your nipples!! :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomassi Posted 25 February 2005 Share Posted 25 February 2005 ..scowy actually tells decent jokes?? 70933[/snapback] They weren't even mine. 70937[/snapback] aha.. for sTealing jokes u must face the DEATH PENALTY!!! 70950[/snapback] Quiet you, traitor :o 70995[/snapback] Death penalty for Tom... 71069[/snapback] broken legs for u both on sunday 71090[/snapback] Just watch out, or they might squeeze your nipples!! :laugh: 71125[/snapback] arghhhhh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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