Jilly Posted 5 January 2009 Posted 5 January 2009 I just wrote this as a celebration of the 60th Birthday of the 7 inch single today. How can you fondle an mp3 You can't lovingly stroke it, prod it or poke it There's no way to touch it, to grab it or clutch it You can't run your fingers carefully around it, throw it in the air or drop it on the ground It's impossible even to see the damn thing There's no look, no feel, no gloss, no bling In fact it is nothing, exists in name only Intangible, abstract, soulless and lonely It lives in the ether, in no special place It doesn't have substance there isn't a face You can't spin it round or slot it in a jacket You can't read it's label or clean it or stack it Even it's name is clinical, boring It's hard to distinguish it when you are storing You know that it's there 'cause you hear it quite clearly But the sound has no focus, it's disembodied really Oh poor mp3 you've no charm and no glow I download you in earnest with nothing to show I need something solid to have and to hold Something aspiring to platinum or gold I want to possess, caress and revive my long lost beloved dear old 45
Lillehamring Posted 5 January 2009 Posted 5 January 2009 bloody hell, that's a like a proper poem - good work, and a very valid point - in fact, i loaded an album onto my mp3 player yesterday and the artist, the album and the tracks aren't listed but the songs come up on random - it's like a ghost!
Jilly Posted 5 January 2009 Author Posted 5 January 2009 I have a fondness for cassettes too but I never play them these days, don't think I've got a working player now. The other day I saw a tape unwound hanging in a tree, yards and yards of it and I remembered how often I used to see them lying in the streets and wondered how and why they got there. I once had 100 short blank cassettes specially wound so I could make demos of music I was working on, I was listening to some of them recently - they were pretty raw and I'd realised I must have sent loads of these to people thinking they were great, now I know why they never replied.
Webbo Posted 5 January 2009 Posted 5 January 2009 When my kids saw my old 45s at my mothers house they didn't even know what they were.
The People's Hero Posted 5 January 2009 Posted 5 January 2009 Sod an mp3, how do you fondle a woman without them realising?
Rodderz Posted 6 January 2009 Posted 6 January 2009 Sod an mp3, how do you fondle a woman without them realising? .
Smiffy Posted 6 January 2009 Posted 6 January 2009 Sod an mp3, how do you fondle a woman without them realising? I anxiously await this poem!
Jilly Posted 6 January 2009 Author Posted 6 January 2009 Never let it be said that I can't rise to a challenge TPH wants advice about fondling women and it would be cruel to deny it So here are my tips for some neat finger trips, I hope that he's going to try it. Here ya go TPH ! .... Let's assume that you're fit and could score a big hit if a suitable bird comes along First of all catch her eye, then smile and say "Hi" - keep it cool, never come on too strong Stand as close as you can and remember your plan is to enter forbidden spaces Choose which spot is best for your maulers to rest (there's probably only three places) On the pretext of teasing you could try squeezing her waistline or even a thigh Keep it playful and speedy, don't get too greedy or you could sustain a black eye Get your chat freely flowing, all the while knowing your aim is to claim territory Try to sound smart and witty, tell her she's pretty, you'll need a distracting story You could buy her a snack then brush crumbs from her rack - you could let your hand rest on her ass But be sure to take care and don't linger there or you'll get a retort from the lass When she's well in your lair try stroking her hair and hopefully she'll start to giggle Keep those compliments comin' and you'll soon get a thumb in* ....(Boy that should make the girl wriggle) If you keep her glass filled then I'm sure she''ll be thrilled at all the attention she's getting Keep it up through the night and when it gets light she'll be fondled all over, I'm betting *disclaimer - this is poetic licence
Smiffy Posted 6 January 2009 Posted 6 January 2009 Never let it be said that I can't rise to a challenge TPH wants advice about fondling women and it would be cruel to deny it So here are my tips for some neat finger trips, I hope that he's going to try it. Here ya go TPH ! .... Let's assume that you're fit and could score a big hit if a suitable bird comes along First of all catch her eye, then smile and say "Hi" - keep it cool, never come on too strong Stand as close as you can and remember your plan is to enter forbidden spaces Choose which spot is best for your maulers to rest (there's probably only three places) On the pretext of teasing you could try squeezing her waistline or even a thigh Keep it playful and speedy, don't get too greedy or you could sustain a black eye Get your chat freely flowing, all the while knowing your aim is to claim territory Try to sound smart and witty, tell her she's pretty, you'll need a distracting story You could buy her a snack then brush crumbs from her rack - you could let your hand rest on her ass But be sure to take care and don't linger there or you'll get a retort from the lass When she's well in your lair try stroking her hair and hopefully she'll start to giggle Keep those compliments comin' and you'll soon get a thumb in* ....(Boy that should make the girl wriggle) If you keep her glass filled then I'm sure she''ll be thrilled at all the attention she's getting Keep it up through the night and when it gets light she'll be fondled all over, I'm betting *disclaimer - this is poetic licence Well done, sir!
The People's Hero Posted 6 January 2009 Posted 6 January 2009 That's fantastic. Thankyou. You've changed my life.
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