Ian Holloway

[SilverFox]

IAN HOLLOWAY'S AMAZING END OF SEASON PRESS CONFERENCE

On celebrating:

I rung Kenny Jackett straight away to congratulate him on getting Swansea promoted and he said "I'm waiting to get my goalie out of jail". You can't even celebrate these days, can you?

On football shorts:

I tell you another crazy, crazy, crazy rule. We want women to come to football don't we? I think they're bloody pretty - a damn sight prettier than any bloke I've seen.

You talk to women about footballers and what do they like - they like legs and our shorts are getting longer. We should go back to the days when half your a*** was hanging out.

I can't believe those shorts are that long! 

Why can't you let players lift up their shirts? Who is it disrespecting? What's wrong with letting a load of young ladies see a good-looking lad take his shirt off?

They'd have to watch other teams, though - because my team is as ugly as hell.

On the reporter who claimed QPR defender Danny Shittu would be sold:

Whoever that was, I'd like to pull his pants down and slap him on the a*** like I used to do to my kids. Apparently I'm not even allowed to do that any more otherwise I'll have the health and safety on to me giving it the old 'hello'.

The world's gone mad. Tony Blair won the election, so why's he gotta resign? I think the Conservative fella should. If he couldn't win an election with a failing government, or a flailing government, what's the matter with him? Get out you ain't no good. I know we're not talking football...we are, aren't we?

[Chimp]

[Matt]

Holloways a Legend!

At the time we we're getting a new manager I wanted him to come, He's a comedian (and last season we needed something to laugh at, although towards the end of out bad season I was laughing at some of the shit our players we're doing...couldn't help myself to be honest! ) and not a bad manager!

[Little Nicky]

As you can tell from my sig I love the guy, top mangaer, one of the best in this division easily! Some of the things the man comes out with are immense, and he can inspire confidence in players, QPR will be up there or there abouts next season!

[C-man]

Holloways a legend

[Mark]

Some of his classics:

After the "ugly" win against Chesterfield:

"To put it in gentleman's terms if you've been out for a night and you're

looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they're good looking

and some weeks they're not the best. Our performance today would have been

not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren't

the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and

very nice, so thanks very much, let's have a coffee"

On being linked with the Millwall job:

"Do you believe everything you read in the Sun? They've got some nice tits

in that paper"

On Ollyisms:

"I got them from my father who had more sayings than you can hang

your hat on!"

On the club's potential:

"I call us the Orange club - because our future's bright!"

On the club's financial position:

'It's like the film Men in Black. I walk around in a black suit, white shirt

and black tie where I've had to flash my white light every now and again to

erase some memories, but I feel we've got hold of the galaxy now......it's

in our hands.''

On the effect Sky TV camera's would have on our players:

"Well a few of them have had their hair done".

On playing defensive players in midfield

"It's all very well having a great pianist playing but it's no good if you

haven't got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place,

otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play!"

On the good fortune the club has enjoyed of late:

"It's as if we've picked up the Titanic from the bottom of the ocean, turned

it round and pointed it in the right direction".

On Richard Langley's rehabilitation:

'He's been out for a year and Richard Langley is still six months away from

being Richard Langley and I could do with a fully fit Richard Langley.'

On staying at Loftus Road:

"This is our cave, and I like living in it."

On axing players from the squad:

"When the water stands still in the pond, it starts to stink."

On helping Doudou's homesickness:

"What we've all got to do is pick him up, slap him around and make him feel

welcome."

"Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark."

QPR boss Ian Holloway ensures the daft quotes of the year title is as good

as his following his side's promotion-winning victory at Sheffield Wednesday

"I had finished all the anger management lessons but I might get on the

phone and book a few more!"

QPR manager Ian Holloway after getting sent off against Tranmere.

"I'm the only person getting angry at the anger management guy!"

QPR boss Ian Holloway on his anger management classes.