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Trav Le Bleu

Mum and Dad Jokes - Marriage Jokes

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Posted

Ok, I know I know there's the Jokes thread, but it's a monster! Let me explain.

Next Saturday we're having a party for my mum and dad's 45th Wedding anniversary, with a few acts and singing and stuff and I'm comparing it. So I need a few mum and dad jokes, or marriage jokes, but clean ones, not too offensive. My dear old mum would die if I told a blue joke! :o

I already have a few, but I'd really appreciate it if the collective knowledge on here could chuck a few my way. Prefer quick snappy jokes to shaggy dog story jokes - I need to remember them and don't want ot hog the stage either!

Thanks in advance!

Posted

Oh god... just ask my daughter she has heard them all lol... just a couple...

When driving past a ceremony....

"Thats the dead centre of town"

"People are dying to get in there"

Posted

I remember our wedding like it was yesterday. I wish it was tomorrow I'd cancel it.

Posted

My dad had his credit card stolen once but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than my mum did.

When my mum married Mr. Right, she didn't know his first name was Always!

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble started when they tried to decide which one.

mum and dad's marriage started when she sunk into his arms , after 45 years it's mostly her arms in the sink

dad had to go to the doctors the other day , and the doctor asked for a blood , urine, stool and semen sample . Dad didn't quite catch what the doctor said so he asked my mum what he wanted , she said " he asked you for your underpants "

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