Sorry if it's been said before, but I heard this over the weekend;
Rafael Benitez is out in Iraq, and spots a brilliant, young Iraqi striker. He asks him to come on a trial for Liverpool.
The next game, Liverpool are 4-0 down at home to Manchester United. Benitez decides to give his Iraqi wonder kid a run out with 20 minutes left. He is a sensation, and scores 5 goals, turning the game and the title race.
After the game, he rings his mother, who is at home.
"Hi mum, i've had a great day, I came on and scored 5 goals and everyone here loves me"
The mother responds. "Let me tell you about my day. Your father's been shot, me and your younger sister have been attacked, robbed and gang raped, and your little brother has joined a gang of looters who deal drugs."
"Mum, I don't know what to say, I'm so sorry."
"Sorry? You're sorry? It was your bloody fault we had to move to Liverpool in the first place!"