fazzyfox

I'm sure the fitness staff are onto that!

Do the crowd sing "one unnamed trialist, there's only one unnamed trialist" etc ?

What a shame that such a well intentioned informative and helpful invitation has been met with such severe p**s ripping. I say thanks "Bob"

I have an idea for United. If they write a nice letter to their neighbours Man.City expressing their frustration at being unable to attract top drawer players they could ask nicely if they could merge clubs as that remains their only way to return to being contenders for the title.

Will that mean that rather than having the games in neatly organised A-Z racks like they do now they'll be all mixed up and chucked on the floor in jumble sale style like his Sports Shop stock?

You're right and the timing of this is correct, we shouldn't just gorge at the benefits like cocksure pigs in a troff, we should recognise that it's only possible due to the hard work and commitment of our owners. Unlike the likes of Slimani it's not as risky in terms of being a success to spend on someone who we've seen settle, fit in and excel in our side already but still, take a step back, 40 million, young player, our club, wow! We took a stride forwards today, you have to move forwards as standing still results in moving backwards in the current climate but this level of business is something else. Thank you.

Guys guys guys come on the ink is barely dry...

Good idea, I've been holding off going to the loo too

"Bet they'll be putting a tuppence on Bovril now to cover the fee". Sorry I went all 1982 there for a moment.

Listening to his comments since being here he seems sincerely moved by his reception from not just the players and staff but us lot, after and during the games, during the walk round after the Chelsea game etc. I'm sure a big fat contract and healthy income helps too but let's have a collective pat on the back for our part in this. We did it mates, each and every one of us achieved this. Oh and well done to Top and co for your contribution too!

I LOVE THIS CLUB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE WORLD CLASS !!!! OFFICIALY !!!!!!!!!!

We tried in Vein to complete the deal

The delay is due to his agent apparently holding out for a 100 page thread

Done by / at six in time for the regional news, forget the sports section this should be the lead item unless Boris Johnson has bounced through Nottingham and Derby naked on a space hopper chased by Jeremy Hunt on a unicycle before they both fall into an abandoned mine shaft just outside Mansfield. And even then it should be the leading feature.

So long as we can fax Monaco our agreement to the financial details in the next 10 minutes he's all ours, what could possibly go wrong. We did return that crappy Supafax 700 Z to Alpha Discounts and buy a better model didn't we?