Vowels

Did anyone actually stay for the second half? I didn't even stay for the third goal.

Pickled egg wasn't as good as hoped. Heartburn.

Sod this, I'm off for a pickled egg. Enjoy the rest of the match guys. See you all at the weekend.

I still remember when I wondered is Iheanacho was good enough for us. Sorry Kelechi. I didn't know what was to come. My eyes may have been open but they certainly did not see.

That's screwed up our previously impressive passes-per-goal stat.

Is some of this because we're in all blue? Too late to change to bloonwhite?

Somewhere in a dark, dank bedsit in an undesirable town; dimly lit by one exposed hanging lightbulb, Luigi Glombard and Leon Crncic are sharing a stale bagel and reassuring each other 'see, I told you we weren't the worst players ever to be on Leicester's books'. Ryan McGivern sits, bagel-less behind them. 'Not you, Ryan' they say, 'the crown is still yours'.

Yeah, that's my most local league team as well and I'm quite pleased I'll be in Italy.

I have a signed programme and match shirt from when Maidstone United beat Stevenage in the FA Cup.

Ah so what you're saying is we need to trust the process?

Both loans from Man City, no? Both left backs? Doyle from a few years ago was a very competent player with the ball but again couldn't defend.

Have we hit rock bottom yet or is there more to come?

Yeah Carr is definitely getting pulled soon.

And what do they have in common?

What happened to HMSPISSTHEJERSEYMIKES?