Unabomber

My bro had 50p on Liverpool to win 5-2, at 150/1 mental bet but hey it came in.

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

Where does Osama Bin Laden keep his C.D's? In a rack.

Birmingham Middlesbrough Man. City Portsmouth Aston Villa Burnley Sheff. Utd. Watford Hartlepool Millwall Nottm. Forest Swansea Darlington Rochdale Shrewsbury All to win at 13756.3/1 Ive stuck 11p on this bad boy

Cheers boss

I had a couple of quid on Fenerbahce, Arsenal, Sporting, Barca and Sevilla all to win. at 7/1

Unlucky about Southampton I just saw the goals on SSN.

I had 50p accie on Barcelona PSV Eindhoven Roma Man. Utd Arsenal that came in = £5.90 returns I also had £1 on Arsenal to be winning at half and full time. = £3 returns I also had 50p on Arsenal 3 - 0 = £7.50 Thank you very much Eduardo £16.40 Nothing great but makes that £2 seem well spent.

Great day, topped off by red wine and cheese and biscuits. Thank God nothing disastrous has been announced/mentioned today.

A newbie in a prison is sitting next to a typical old timer at lunch, when all of a sudden someone shouts out 23!, and everyone laughs out loud, seconds later another reckless inmate shouts 54! once again tremendous laughter. This goes on for a few days with numerous numbers being shouted out, and hysterical laughter, until one day the newbie decides to ask the old timer what the crack is. He says that the prison only have one joke book and therefore people know it off by heart so they only need to shout out a number as the other prisoners will know the exact joke, and therefore laugh. A week or so goes by until the newbie plucks up enough courage to one day give it a go himself. So after lunch one day the prisoner shouts out 46!! However complete silence, greets him,not even a murmur. Confused the newbie asks the old timer what went wrong.. He responds "Its the way you tell them mate"