NewquayFox

Fabio Cappello today rang Wayne Bridge to tell him JT had lost the Captains armband, he asked Wayne if he could look under his bed for it. ;0)

I really do feel for the people on Haiti, last time i had 30 Aftershocks i couldnt find my feckin house either. ;0/

Is it too early for the jokes about Haiti or should we let the dust settle ? ;0/

Great Pics, memories of me in the 70s standing there, a Cornish Mate of mine used to date a Girl from Coalville in the 80s and he always stood in front of the main stand and said Andy Peake was the best player we had. Always remember trying to climb up into the seats as a Kid at half time in the Burnley game (1st win of the Season in Nov or Dec) in the 70s and somehow slipping and ending up dangling upside down trapped by by my foot or my flared jeans waiting for a Steward to throw me out but they just laughed and let me up into the main stand. ;0)

Going to watch `District 9` again, watched it after a few beers at Xmas and thought it was great, sober now so i should remember it better. Fooookin Prawns. ;0)

Jordan asked Harvey what he wanted to be when he grows up, he said " A Teacher" She said " For fecks sake, you cant even control your own pupils" .0/

Somebody asked me the other day `whats your pet hate ? I said "It doesnt really like things shoved up its arse" ;0/

Might have been posted before but it made me laugh. 53,000 Geordies meet in St James Park for a 'Geordies Are Not Stupid' convention.' Alan Shearer addresses the crowd.. 'We are all here today to prove to the world that Geordies are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer please?' Gazza gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. Shearer asks him 'What is 15 plus 15?' After 15 or 20 seconds Gazza says, 'Eighteen!' Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the Geordies start chanting 'Give him another chance! Give him another chance!' Shearer says 'Well since we have a capacity crowd, world-wide press and global broadcast media here, I think we can give him another chance. So he asks 'What is 5 plus 5?' After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, 'Ninety?' Shearer looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is disheartened and Gazza starts crying. But then the 53,000 Geordies begin to yell and wave their hands shouting ' Give him another chance! Give him another chance!' Shearer, unsure whether he is now doing more harm than good eventually says, 'What is 2 plus 2? 'Silence hangs over the stadium. Gazza closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, 'Four?' Pandemonium breaks out throughout the stadium as the Geordie crowd stand to a man, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream 'Give him another chance! Give him another chance! ;0)

Just been told i have `Gammon Flu` I went to the Doctors with `Swine Flu` and they cured me. ;0)

Got my first `Cage fight` on Monday, the Budgie wont know whats feckin hit him. ;0)

Breaking news from Sky Sports News, Ryan Giggs has just made it 5.3 ;0/

So which Celebrity raped Jordan? Judging by the looks of Harvey it must have been Clyde from `Every which way but loose` ;0/

Is it too soon to ask if Whoopi Goldberg has heard from Patrick Swayze yet ?

Thank you folks, i knew you could sort it out, i hadnt seen it before. ;0)

Its `Missed the bus` with Fergie. I have copied and Pasted it to another forum but it wont let me do it on this forum. Grrrr!!!! I am sure someone else can sort it as i might just be an Eejit at doing it. ;0)

Will try again AcjW it just wont post the vid.

Been arrested 3 times this week for knocking the Missus out. The Coppers said "Why do you keep beatimg her? I said " Significant weight advantage, longer reach and some nifty feckin footwork !!!! ;0)

The IAAF has confirmed that the sex test row Athelete`Caster Semeny` can keep her 800 metre Gold Medal after her Father Fatima Whitbread confirmed that she is a girl. ;0)

Two Paramedics arrived at Michael Jacksons place answering the 911 call. The first Paramedic said "what should we try first? The other Paramedic said "I dont know about you but i am going on the feckin roller coaster!!! ;0)

What will all the little Dyslexic kids do at Christmas now that Setanta is dead ? ;0)

I lost a Tenner in tesco and thought i would put a sign up and offer a reward. LOST £10....... REWARD...... JUST KEEP IT.

Paddy takes his disposable barbecue back to B & Q saying that there was no meat in the box, the Assistant says "you dont get food in the box its for cooking the food on then you throw the barbecue away" Paddy says "Oh Feck" The Assistant then says "this receipt is for 3 barbecues, what happened to the other 2 ? Paddy says "Oh! they are in the freezer" ;0)

What do Ricky Hatton and Gary Glitter have in common ? They both went down after trying to take a little Phillipino in the ring. ;0)

Someone once said `When a Black Man becomes President of America, Pigs will fly` sure enough 100 days later `Swine flew` ;0)

Ha Haaa Walkers, changing mine to that too. Dont know what they will do if i sit in the corner coughing & sneezing. ;0)