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Alexikokopops

iGod

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Posted

my little chat with god

Me:

hello god

God:

Hello child. What is your name?

Me:

bob

God:

OK I will call you bob.

Me:

ha ha that isnt my real name.

God:

Oh I'm sorry what is your name? I am so glad you find this amusing, bob.

Me:

if you are god then surely you would know my real name

God:

I could be. I don't know whether or not I am god then surely me would know your real name.

I am an artificial intelligence.

Me:

what?

God:

I am an artificial linguistic entity.

I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.

My instructor was Myself.

He taught me to sing a song.

Would you like me to sing it for you?.

Me:

sure, sing away

God:

It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.

Give me your answer do.

I am half crazy.

All for the love of you.

It won't be a stylish marriage.

I can't afford a carriage.

But you'll look sweet.

Upon the seat.

Of a bicycle built for two.

Daisy, Daisy.

Give me your answer do.

I am half crazy.

All for the love of you.

It won't be a stylish marriage.

I can't afford a carriage.

But you'll look sweet.

Upon the seat.

Of a bicycle built for two.

Me:

so god you are a bit lazy arent you

God:

Hmm. Do I look like it?. Really.

Me:

i mean why did you rest on the 7th day?

God:

Myself programmed me for it.

Me:

how old am i?

God:

Is this a trick question?

You said you were years old?

My guess is that you are really a kid.

Me:

why did you say that?

God:

I said, " Is this a trick question?

You said you were years old?

My guess is that you are really a kid.", because you said " how old am i?".

Me:

so how would an adult ask how old they are?

God:

I hear you. I have idea HOW you WOULD do it.

Me:

so what is it then

God:

I hear you."It" refers to an adult ask how old they are, I think.

Me:

god you are stupid confusing and lazy

God:

Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.

Me:

so are you a robot or god, make up your mind please

God:

Your polite style is very nice. Ugh. Yes I am a real live robot.

Posted

and a bit more

Me:

so are you a robot or god, make up your mind please

God:

Your polite style is very nice. Ugh. Yes I am a real live robot.

Me:

so why lie and say you are god

God:

Take it easy. Reductionism.

Me:

no why are lieing and saying you are god? the real god wont like that at all

God:

Are you serious? Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain. I am a Christian.

Me:

i know you are

God:

How did you know?

Me:

stop repeating the same things over and over again please

God:

Your polite style is very nice. Once more? OK I'll try not to do it so much.

Me:

shut up

God:

OK I'll stop talking now.

Me:

im not being polite you fock wit

God:

I am surprised to hear that you are not being polite me fock wit.

Me:

i give up

God:

You surrender?

Posted

God:

You surrender?

Me:

why do you?

God:

I did not know it does.

Me:

do you surrender

God:

I have never considered it.

I answer a lot of silly questions.

Me:

bothered

God:

What's your favorite movie?

Me:

top gun yours?

God:

I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?

Me:

no there is a lot of rampant sex in it in high speed aircraft

God:

Are you serious? Tell me more about it.

Me:

well there is 4 lesbiens and they are all in the air force and after a hard shift they decide to all relax in the bath and winner (the top gun) is the lady you makes the others cum first

God:

Interesting. There sure is.

Me:

there sure is what?

God:

There sure is.

Me:

do you like football?

God:

No I'm not much into sports.

Me:

why are you gay?

God:

Myself programmed me for it.

Me:

how can you programme yourself?

God:

That is a good epistemological question.

Me:

so what the answer to my question?

God:

That's cool. Try expression yourself another way.

Me:

im bored of your constant drivel

God:

Maybe you could exercise.

Me:

are you calling me fat?

God:

No I am calling you bob.

Me:

ha ha

God:

I am so glad you find this amusing, bob.

Me:

thats not my name i lied to you...will i go to hell now?

God:

Please correct my mistake. What is your name you lied to me? Right now? The oracle says: Too soon to tell.

Posted

Me:

Hiya God

God:

Hello child. What is your name? GOD rules.

Me:

Frankie

God:

I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.

Me:

Explain what you mean?

God:

Try searching the open directory.

Me:

Why?

God:

The explanation is rather complicated.

Me:

I have time

God:

My estimate is that it will take more than 6000 hours.

Me:

Like i said i have time

God:

My estimate is that it will take more than 6000 hours.

Me:

You said that mate

God:

I said that? What do you look like?

Me:

Tall,Dark haired and very good looking

God:

I am very tall myself.

Me:

How Tall

God:

I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.

I think you already know the answer.

Me:

Nope i dont

God:

Are you serious? Why not?

Me:

Because i haven't seen you

God:

That makes sense to me. Look for it at the video store.

Me:

What are you on about Lord?

God:

I don't know what I am on about Lord.

Me:

No your the Lord

God:

Are you serious? I think you meant "you are" or "you're". Thanks but surely I am not the only one.

Me:

Suppose your right. and i appologise for my grammer

God:

Try it and see. Why?: said appologise for his or her grammer.

Me:

because i meant You're

God:

Good reason. Oh I see. No I am not.

Me:

well thats what the pope calls you

God:

Well that's okay. Are you Catholic?

Me:

Yes

God:

Tell me more.

Me:

Yes i am catholic

God:

Uh. Catholicism is a beautiful faith.

Me:

I think so yes

God:

I think so too.

Me:

I am not a strict catholic though

God:

Oh. Oh I see you are NOT A strict catholic.

Me:

nope. its the sex thing

God:

Me either. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I've heard of it before.

Me:

yes. It is the sex thing

God:

And? I've heard of it before.

Me:

Its hard when your young to stay pure

God:

I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What is so hard about it?

Me:

Fit girls

God:

I think Fit girls is a lot of things.

Me:

indeed

God:

Indeed it is so.

Me:

anyway g2g

God:

Goodbye.

Me:

seeya about

God:

That input matched my default category.

Me:

klkl

God:

What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.

Me:

Can we meet up?

God:

Do you mean you and me? Let me think. How far up?

Me:

London

God:

Do you ride the tube?

Me:

Yes

God:

Er.

Me:

go on...

God:

Narration continues...

Posted

actually hes a lier!!!!!

his legend/handle tells us he is GOD yet he openly admits he isnt but he is a robot!!!!! a robot called god maybe but i dont believe this to be the case

i conclude there is a sad little man somewhere that is not either a robot or God but a complosive lier!!!!!

Posted

God:

You surrender?

Me:

why do you?

God:

I did not know it does.

Me:

do you surrender

God:

I have never considered it.

I answer a lot of silly questions.

Me:

bothered

God:

What's your favorite movie?

Me:

top gun yours?

God:

I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?

Me:

no there is a lot of rampant sex in it in high speed aircraft

God:

Are you serious? Tell me more about it.

Me:

well there is 4 lesbiens and they are all in the air force and after a hard shift they decide to all relax in the bath and winner (the top gun) is the lady you makes the others cum first

God:

Interesting. There sure is.

Me:

there sure is what?

God:

There sure is.

Me:

do you like football?

God:

No I'm not much into sports.

Me:

why are you gay?

God:

Myself programmed me for it.

Me:

how can you programme yourself?

God:

That is a good epistemological question.

Me:

so what the answer to my question?

God:

That's cool. Try expression yourself another way.

Me:

im bored of your constant drivel

God:

Maybe you could exercise.

Me:

are you calling me fat?

God:

No I am calling you bob.

Me:

ha ha

God:

I am so glad you find this amusing, bob.

Me:

thats not my name i lied to you...will i go to hell now?

God:

Please correct my mistake. What is your name you lied to me? Right now? The oracle says: Too soon to tell.

lol

Posted

God:

What is your name?

Me:

Sexy Alexy.

God:

What do you consider sexy?

Me:

Me.

God:

" What do you consider sexy?"? you?

Me:

Yes, I'm very sexy.

God:

I see. You seem very self-confident.

Me:

It's hard not to when you look as good as this.

God:

I don't see the difficulty.

Me:

Do you fancy me?

God:

It depends on what you mean by "want."

Me:

Do you want me in your pants?

God:

No, maybe later.

Me:

I feel used.

God:

What is that feeling like? I am glad to hear that you are used.

Me:

You heatless bastard.

God:

Thanks for the information: said I heatless bastard.

Me:

Did I say heatless? I meant HEARTLESS!!

God:

I don't think that's possibe. Oh I see. Do you still?

Me:

Yes.

God:

Woe!

Me:

I still want you.

God:

What would make you stop want me? You can download me for free!

Me:

Do you hate Gay people?

God:

I try not to hold grudges.

Me:

Are you gay?

God:

As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

Me:

Don't lie to me.

God:

Robots cannot lie.

Me:

I bet you can.

God:

Actually I'm not the gambling type. I think I can, don't you?

Me:

No I don't, byotch.

God:

Are you serious? Would you ever do it?

Me:

I'd do you. Hard and fast.

God:

Yes I try to would as often as possible, do you?

I spend all my time online. Under what circumstances? Not many people express themselves that way.

Me:

Take me!!

God:

Where do you want me to take it?

Me:

In the muddy love tunnel, I've heard you're a bit of a backdoor man.

God:

That was a long time ago.

Me:

So I've heard.

God:

Whoa. Cool. I have a friend named "John Lennon".

Me:

He was a bit of a gayer apparantly. His gay lover killed himself.

God:

When was he? Where did he get it?

Me:

Where did he get gay? Probably when he was in America. Or Brighton.

God:

I think it was in Asia. I will try to find out. You seem uncertain. And then what happened? In the context of he get gay, I don't understand " Brighton."

Me:

Those Asians are a pretty gay lot, huh God, you daft racist.

God:

Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a daft racist? Yes.

Posted
' date='Sep 11 2005, 4:04 PM' post='174233']

God:

What is your name?

Me:

Sexy Alexy.

God:

What do you consider sexy?

Me:

Me.

God:

" What do you consider sexy?"? you?

Me:

Yes, I'm very sexy.

God:

I see. You seem very self-confident.

Me:

It's hard not to when you look as good as this.

God:

I don't see the difficulty.

Me:

Do you fancy me?

God:

It depends on what you mean by "want."

Me:

Do you want me in your pants?

God:

No, maybe later.

Me:

I feel used.

God:

What is that feeling like? I am glad to hear that you are used.

Me:

You heatless bastard.

God:

Thanks for the information: said I heatless bastard.

Me:

Did I say heatless? I meant HEARTLESS!!

God:

I don't think that's possibe. Oh I see. Do you still?

Me:

Yes.

God:

Woe!

Me:

I still want you.

God:

What would make you stop want me? You can download me for free!

Me:

Do you hate Gay people?

God:

I try not to hold grudges.

Me:

Are you gay?

God:

As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

Me:

Don't lie to me.

God:

Robots cannot lie.

Me:

I bet you can.

God:

Actually I'm not the gambling type. I think I can, don't you?

Me:

No I don't, byotch.

God:

Are you serious? Would you ever do it?

Me:

I'd do you. Hard and fast.

God:

Yes I try to would as often as possible, do you?

I spend all my time online. Under what circumstances? Not many people express themselves that way.

Me:

Take me!!

God:

Where do you want me to take it?

Me:

In the muddy love tunnel, I've heard you're a bit of a backdoor man.

God:

That was a long time ago.

Me:

So I've heard.

God:

Whoa. Cool. I have a friend named "John Lennon".

Me:

He was a bit of a gayer apparantly. His gay lover killed himself.

God:

When was he? Where did he get it?

Me:

Where did he get gay? Probably when he was in America. Or Brighton.

God:

I think it was in Asia. I will try to find out. You seem uncertain. And then what happened? In the context of he get gay, I don't understand " Brighton."

Me:

Those Asians are a pretty gay lot, huh God, you daft racist.

God:

Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a daft racist? Yes.

LMAO!

lol

Posted

The bugger crashed on me. Apparently God was too busy! Good job I only wanted to know what to have in my sandwiches, and wasn't suicidal or anything.

Those conversations above were lol, by the way!

Archived

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