Football Coaching

[Kinowe Soorie]

5 hours ago, Aus Fox said:

Should never be happening at that age group. Quite frankly, shouting doesn’t work at any age group.

Number one thing at the younger ages is to teach the kids to love the game. If they love what they’re doing, they’ll want to improve.

 Results really don’t matter at that age group, it’s all about developing a love, teamwork and getting the basics.

This season I coached both the men’s senior team and the U8s team at the same club, men’s senior team won the league, U8s got two wins for the season. 
Every single one of those kids wants to come back next year and continue developing. If I was shouting at them, I don’t think any of the would want to come back. A good coach shouldn’t need to yell and scream. 

I really don’t like the shouting, it’s not the army or the 1970’s etc. They need lots of encouragement and positive reinforcement, fun environment etc.

The goalkeeper in particular could do with some individual coaching imo (not a criticism of the boy) but the lads will smash balls past him in shooting drills, not good for his confidence. It’s very, very unforgiving position.

[snoopy87]

17 hours ago, Kinowe Soorie said:

@snoopy87 any parents that you get on well with? Definitely try and get as many extra pairs of hands as possible. Obviously after getting the necessary certification.

Slightest sniffle or knee graze is a night off training for some. I have one lad that hasn’t appeared for a match yet this season. Then have some lads, where their limbs would have to be hanging off before they missed a match or training.

Keep going! 

Yeah I have. One has actually completed their course but hasn't been seen since . A couple of others are looking at doing the playmaker and safeguarding so they can assist me while we're training.

 

It has its positives, namely my own son who has found his love for playing again and has started to do what he always could on a football pitch, after having any creativity hammered out of him at his old team. The development in how we're playing and moving is really good to see as well, some are really starting to play and work for each other. It's becoming about the team rather than the individual.

[snoopy87]

14 hours ago, Bert said:

Young lad has moved teams to another local team but a bit higher level. 
 

Had a very awkward phone call to make with my friend who I was running it with but had to follow what my son wanted. 
 

Happy I can just go and watch him train and play now rather than having to get 8 6yr olds to listen at the same and also him not having the pressure burden of his dad being a coach. 

Getting past this was hardest part I think. My lad earnt the nickname angry kid earlier this year because he'd just argue and shout at me. He may have been acting out because he is up there as one of the best players in the side, but in the early days, because I didn't want to show favouritism, he got less time on the pitch and not given MOTM (when he clearly deserved it). It wasn't until I read a piece of advice about remembering why I did it in the first place, that I realised it's all for him. So now he does play more than most, but it's also deserved as well.

[Bert]

3 hours ago, snoopy87 said:

Getting past this was hardest part I think. My lad earnt the nickname angry kid earlier this year because he'd just argue and shout at me. He may have been acting out because he is up there as one of the best players in the side, but in the early days, because I didn't want to show favouritism, he got less time on the pitch and not given MOTM (when he clearly deserved it). It wasn't until I read a piece of advice about remembering why I did it in the first place, that I realised it's all for him. So now he does play more than most, but it's also deserved as well.

The problem I faced that in the former team, playing at level 5 my lad was head and shoulders above the rest of them, ability and understanding of the game, and he got frustrated that he wasn’t getting player of the week/MOTM more often than he did, so we made the decision in the end for the parents to vote.
 

The final straw came for him when one of his own players tackled him  And also at the age they’re at we were simply giving every single player regardless of ability the same amount of playing time (which for me is the right way to do it) and similar to you literally the only reason I was doing it was so him and his friends all had a team to play in.
 

The annoying thing about u7’s is a lot of teams go in at a lower level than they should be and just waltz past teams. First game of the season, his former team had their first “league game” and their coach came over to us and said “we are too good for this level” and proceeded to absolutely batter them. 

 

He’s now moved to a level 3 side, where he is by no means the top dog there, so that’ll bring more

out of him as well as playing against better opposition in more competitive games but more importantly he’s enjoying it more than getting pasted every week at level 5 even if his new team loses, he’s still enjoying it as well as enjoying training more and I think a lot of that is because he’s now got an impartial coach. 

[Bert]

16 hours ago, Kinowe Soorie said:

I also have a 6 year old that plays for a team that I’m not involved with, but I don’t like how the manager runs the team. Shouts at them and is very critical of mistakes they make. They also have too many players, so they are all only getting half a match each. 

This is also a problem we encountered. We had 10 when I was helping out which meant everyone was only getting 2 quarters. Now he’s in a team of 8 which is just about right when you factor in that some of them might not be there each week which generally means they’re all gonna get 3 quarters more times than not. For me at their age, it’s all about the encouragement isn’t it. Get your message across during the game but do it in the right way. Even if they make a mistake just say good effort and maximise what you can. We’d played a lot of friendlies and one team we played wow, never heard anything like it from a grown men talking to 6 year old boys. 

[snoopy87]

Absolute shocker this morning. Warned the boys we were up against a good side, told them they'd need to work hard to get anything out of the game, not a single word listened to and we were rightly stuffed!

 

Had a feeling this would happen, training in the week felt hard work, they all carried it out as if they knew it all after a few good results. We'll see if today has humbled them a bit. Probably the worst we've played after an opening 10 minutes where we were well and truly on top. Baffling.

Edited 5 October 2025 by snoopy87

[Kinowe Soorie]

Our match was cancelled by the opposition last thing yesterday, so no time to arrange a friendly.

I got a chance to see my youngest lad play at least.

[Kinowe Soorie]

Trying to organise a friendly during half term, is like pulling teeth at the dentist 

Parents are definitely the worst part of running a kids football team!

Edited 26 October 2025 by Kinowe Soorie

[snoopy87]

On a really rotten run of form currently. Games aren't even close, we are getting stuffed! We've gone from belonging at our level to looking like we need to drop 1 or 2 and I know (most of) the players are better than the results we are getting.

 

I know the issue is one lad I took a chance on in the summer who just isn't anywhere near the level. He's friends with a few of the players in the side (go to school together), so all they do is half arse any training drill and spend more time talking. Getting a word in edgeways with them on a matchday is a nightmare. The dynamic in the side has changed the more integrated he's become.

 

It is making me dread turning up for training and matches now, it's just not enjoyable.

 

The parent is a bit of a poo stirrer on the side-line as well, which putting all this in together is pushing me to get him out. I don't suspect there'll be any fallout in our group from it as they aren't particularly fond of the parent either and can see the kid is struggling in games.

 

Anybody else had issues like this in the past? I've enjoyed almost every minute of my coaching this year up to now.

[Kinowe Soorie]

12 hours ago, snoopy87 said:

On a really rotten run of form currently. Games aren't even close, we are getting stuffed! We've gone from belonging at our level to looking like we need to drop 1 or 2 and I know (most of) the players are better than the results we are getting.

 

I know the issue is one lad I took a chance on in the summer who just isn't anywhere near the level. He's friends with a few of the players in the side (go to school together), so all they do is half arse any training drill and spend more time talking. Getting a word in edgeways with them on a matchday is a nightmare. The dynamic in the side has changed the more integrated he's become.

 

It is making me dread turning up for training and matches now, it's just not enjoyable.

 

The parent is a bit of a poo stirrer on the side-line as well, which putting all this in together is pushing me to get him out. I don't suspect there'll be any fallout in our group from it as they aren't particularly fond of the parent either and can see the kid is struggling in games.

 

Anybody else had issues like this in the past? I've enjoyed almost every minute of my coaching this year up to now.

My advice would be, get rid asap!

As it will only get worse.

I have one parent in particular, that is a bad egg. Very consistent in causing friction and aggravation.

[snoopy87]

Not looking great for games this weekend. Our club have cancelled all Saturday games with Sunday looking to go the same way.

 

Trying to get a 3G I know there's space at but they aren't exactly jumping to fill the spot and reply to me! Don't want the boys to lose a weekend when I know there's a place available.

[syston_fox]

I coach an u13 team which my son used to play in (but he quit last season and stupidly I carried on) and now also coach an u9 team that my youngest is in. 

 

The older team are at that age when it's really hard to get a team together each week. Squad of 15 but going into a game tomorrow with one sub and training this morning just has 7. Makes you wonder why you bother. No help from parents with setting up etc so matchday is 4 hour slog. 

 

The younger team are a joy. Always a full house and come the final whistle, the pitch floods with parents all chipping in. 

 

Coaching your own kid is very hard. For the older team, he was a weaker player and didn't always put effort in so he got a hard time from me and we clashed. Learned my lesson though and much calmer with my younger. He played  as a keeper last season for another team and they went all the way to Division 1 and won tournaments galore but it wasn't fun because of the pressure. He's now dropped down to level 5 with a brand new team but playing as a striker and we did worry he would be playing catch up after a season of pure goalkeeping but so far, top scorer with 17 goals and playing with a smile. 

 

There is no doubt that sometimes it's a chore but it's very rewarding at the same time (when it goes well) 

[snoopy87]

6 hours ago, syston_fox said:

I coach an u13 team which my son used to play in (but he quit last season and stupidly I carried on) and now also coach an u9 team that my youngest is in. 

 

The older team are at that age when it's really hard to get a team together each week. Squad of 15 but going into a game tomorrow with one sub and training this morning just has 7. Makes you wonder why you bother. No help from parents with setting up etc so matchday is 4 hour slog. 

 

The younger team are a joy. Always a full house and come the final whistle, the pitch floods with parents all chipping in. 

 

Coaching your own kid is very hard. For the older team, he was a weaker player and didn't always put effort in so he got a hard time from me and we clashed. Learned my lesson though and much calmer with my younger. He played  as a keeper last season for another team and they went all the way to Division 1 and won tournaments galore but it wasn't fun because of the pressure. He's now dropped down to level 5 with a brand new team but playing as a striker and we did worry he would be playing catch up after a season of pure goalkeeping but so far, top scorer with 17 goals and playing with a smile. 

 

There is no doubt that sometimes it's a chore but it's very rewarding at the same time (when it goes well) 

We're U9's. I know exactly what you mean with coaching your own kid. My lad was a nightmare at the beginning of this year, but we've broke through that now and things are far better.

 

You seem to be in the same position as I was with my son. He was at a higher level but there was only one or two positions he was being played in. Since I moved him and took his team on, he's everywhere again. Scores, tackles, blocks, leads. Yes were not at the highest level but there's more enjoyment in watching him develop alongside the majority of his team, some of whome have really progressed well since I took over. So it's nice to know I can make a difference.

[Scotch]

Looking for a bit of advice on how to approach a subject with my lads coaches and since there are a few youth coaches in here...

 

My 11 year old joined a team a few months ago and is loving it. They aren't a very serious team. More of a "let the lads play and have fun" kinda group and I have no problem with that, it's perfect for my boy even though they get hammered every weekend. 

 

Since joining. The coaches have made no secret of the fact that they love him. He plays every single game and is the only player in the team who hasn't ever been subbed at any point in the 5/6 games he's played. They've said directly that they will play him every possible minute as they dont have anyone near his level in his position (CB). 

 

The problem is, he doesn't want to play CB. Even though he is made for it. He wants to play GK. That is the whole reason he signed up and they know he wants to play GK but have said outright that it would be a waste and the team are much better with him outfield. I find this a bit of a contradiction as like I said, they are all about the kids enjoyment over being a good team so to deny him that for the sake of being a better team isn't sitting right. It's not helped by the fact that the current GK (a good freind of my son) is hilariously bad. Costs them 4/5 goals per game so for him to look at this and not be considered isn't coming across as fair to him but they are already making plans of who to pair him at CB with next year when they go to 11 aside.

 

How do I approach this with them? I get on well with them. Spend most games chatting away to them, help out putting up goals etc, how do I make my point without being THAT parent because he will eventually quit or look for another team and I don't want either of those. 

[Kinowe Soorie]

On 15/11/2025 at 15:34, Scotch said:

Looking for a bit of advice on how to approach a subject with my lads coaches and since there are a few youth coaches in here...

 

My 11 year old joined a team a few months ago and is loving it. They aren't a very serious team. More of a "let the lads play and have fun" kinda group and I have no problem with that, it's perfect for my boy even though they get hammered every weekend. 

 

Since joining. The coaches have made no secret of the fact that they love him. He plays every single game and is the only player in the team who hasn't ever been subbed at any point in the 5/6 games he's played. They've said directly that they will play him every possible minute as they dont have anyone near his level in his position (CB). 

 

The problem is, he doesn't want to play CB. Even though he is made for it. He wants to play GK. That is the whole reason he signed up and they know he wants to play GK but have said outright that it would be a waste and the team are much better with him outfield. I find this a bit of a contradiction as like I said, they are all about the kids enjoyment over being a good team so to deny him that for the sake of being a better team isn't sitting right. It's not helped by the fact that the current GK (a good freind of my son) is hilariously bad. Costs them 4/5 goals per game so for him to look at this and not be considered isn't coming across as fair to him but they are already making plans of who to pair him at CB with next year when they go to 11 aside.

 

How do I approach this with them? I get on well with them. Spend most games chatting away to them, help out putting up goals etc, how do I make my point without being THAT parent because he will eventually quit or look for another team and I don't want either of those. 

Maybe bring it up in conversation, if you have any friendly matches coming up, could your lad try going in goal? 
Personally, if I have a strong player and helpful parents, I desperately want to keep them on board!

[snoopy87]

On 15/11/2025 at 15:34, Scotch said:

Looking for a bit of advice on how to approach a subject with my lads coaches and since there are a few youth coaches in here...

 

My 11 year old joined a team a few months ago and is loving it. They aren't a very serious team. More of a "let the lads play and have fun" kinda group and I have no problem with that, it's perfect for my boy even though they get hammered every weekend. 

 

Since joining. The coaches have made no secret of the fact that they love him. He plays every single game and is the only player in the team who hasn't ever been subbed at any point in the 5/6 games he's played. They've said directly that they will play him every possible minute as they dont have anyone near his level in his position (CB). 

 

The problem is, he doesn't want to play CB. Even though he is made for it. He wants to play GK. That is the whole reason he signed up and they know he wants to play GK but have said outright that it would be a waste and the team are much better with him outfield. I find this a bit of a contradiction as like I said, they are all about the kids enjoyment over being a good team so to deny him that for the sake of being a better team isn't sitting right. It's not helped by the fact that the current GK (a good freind of my son) is hilariously bad. Costs them 4/5 goals per game so for him to look at this and not be considered isn't coming across as fair to him but they are already making plans of who to pair him at CB with next year when they go to 11 aside.

 

How do I approach this with them? I get on well with them. Spend most games chatting away to them, help out putting up goals etc, how do I make my point without being THAT parent because he will eventually quit or look for another team and I don't want either of those. 

Just have a chat with the coaches. If there was a conversation before signing up about where your kid will be playing, there's expectations on both sides. If you're as friendly with them as it seems, a more direct approach will probably make the penny drop.

 

Personally, it's how I'd want my parents to be with me. If it goes South, at least you know where you stand. I can see it being really difficult for them if they think they've found a grassroots Van Dijk in your son, you maybe not pressing it as much will be giving them a bit more wriggle room to avoid moving him around (I've been on the patent side of this, I just wanted my son to be happy).

[Scotch]

1 hour ago, Kinowe Soorie said:

Maybe bring it up in conversation, if you have any friendly matches coming up, could your lad try going in goal? 
Personally, if I have a strong player and helpful parents, I desperately want to keep them on board!

 

47 minutes ago, snoopy87 said:

Just have a chat with the coaches. If there was a conversation before signing up about where your kid will be playing, there's expectations on both sides. If you're as friendly with them as it seems, a more direct approach will probably make the penny drop.

 

Personally, it's how I'd want my parents to be with me. If it goes South, at least you know where you stand. I can see it being really difficult for them if they think they've found a grassroots Van Dijk in your son, you maybe not pressing it as much will be giving them a bit more wriggle room to avoid moving him around (I've been on the patent side of this, I just wanted my son to be happy).

Thanks for the reply guys. 

 

There was never any discussion about where he would play. It's not really that type of team. It is more the team that players go to to get used to a team before moving on. The kind of club where a bunch of them only go to train but dont want to play games and that's welcomed. (That's why when they get a good player that they can add to their core group and chop and change around them, they jump on it)

When he joined, they moved him around positions in training to find a good fit, they settled at RB but another kid joined who was just as good at RB but not as good at CB so they moved him there and he really took to it. 

 

I've spoken to the coaches about it in an informal, passing convo type of way and made it known that he was really disappointed about not playing GK but it was kind of laughed off in a joking "yeah that's not happening" kind of way, but also not disrespectful. 

 

The worst part of it is that I agree with the coaches. He is by far their best option at GK but he is a better CB than he is a GK so can add more there. But that's where he wants to play...

[syston_fox]

Really frustrating game today. 

 

At u13s you expect to be appointed a (semi) neutral referee. Today's was the son of someone at the club (around 20 so not a kid) and he allowed a clearly wrong first goal and looked smugly at me when i pointed out why it shouldn't have counted. 

 

Then just shrugged when one of our players complained to him at being called a "ginger c***" repeatedly.

 

Also refused to stop the game when one of my players went down with a head injury, only stopping it because I went on the pitch and took matters into my own hands to check on him.

 

Had the linesman giving me lip constantly too and was ready to lamp him one. 

 

We were shit and deserved to lose (and heavily) but the opposition were frankly embarrassing and just grateful that don't have to play them again this season! 

[Kinowe Soorie]

Weather isn’t looking too good for tomorrow, due to play on grass. We’ve only managed to play five league matches so far this season. This time last year, double the amount of games.

[snoopy87]

On 22/11/2025 at 09:43, Kinowe Soorie said:

Weather isn’t looking too good for tomorrow, due to play on grass. We’ve only managed to play five league matches so far this season. This time last year, double the amount of games.

Ours got moved to 3G, wish we hadn't have bothered!

 

The side we played yesterday we've played twice before and there's only been a goal in it between us. Really good close games. Yesterday, you could've parked a jumbo jet in the gap between the teams. My lot have just stopped doing the basics full stop now. I'm losing all enjoyment from it.

 

Changes are coming this week anyway. I need a smaller squad, that's when we were at our best and the weaker players got more time to improve. I have ten at 7v7 and sadly the one extra I brought in just isn't anywhere near the level the team is at. This one being the aforementioned talker with the poo stirring mother.

[snoopy87]

Win out of absolutely no where yesterday. Forms been shocking, football has been non-existent, then all of a sudden they start getting their heads up and start passing to each other again. Would you believe it, we score goals when we do!

 

God I hate football.

[snoopy87]

Finished the term strongly in the end. Some much needed wins and more importantly, performances from the boys that show they can do it.

 

Our game yesterday consisted of two absolutely stunning goals from my side, proper goal of the season stuff. Great to see the confidence start to come back.

[Kinowe Soorie]

We won quite handsomely, with quite possibly the best team performance so far!

[Bert]

The lads team are improving loads. 
 

One of his first games for his new team who are level 3 we played a league fixture but the team we played are quite easily level 1. They got battered 13-1. Played them again at the weekend and although they lost 9-2 it was 2-1 at half time and the progress for them all was great to see. 
 

Picked up a couple of wins inbetween which has been great for their confidence and you can see the boys are taking on what the coaches are saying and implementing things from the sessions. 
 

One last friendly before Christmas. Just love watching him play and how much he’s enjoying it. Which is a far cry from September when he was getting so disheartened. 

[Kinowe Soorie]

Sums up kids football the last two weekends. Last week one of the best matches we’ve played in three years, today one of the worst.