Knighton Matt Posted 4 July 2006 Posted 4 July 2006 You have to answer alternate questions from Fez's and TPH's lists. Don't mind which you start with! 1. Who in your opinion was the most luscious young lady in Beaumont Hall that balmy summer of 2003? 2. What is Maidstone like on a Friday night? 3. What time is the last bus home? 4. How much would you pay for the guitar Bob Dylan first went electric on? 5. Who's your favourite Leicester player ever, other than Ian Marshall? 6. Who's the best looking famous lady you reckon you could get into bed for sex and that? 7. What's your middle name? 8. If you could have anything to eat right now, what would it be? 9. What is your favourite insult? 10. Who do you prefer, Nationwider or Knighton Matt? 11. Where would you choose to go on holiday for 2 weeks, all expenses taken care of? 12. If you had to support a football team other than Leicester for a season, who would it be? 13. If you had to give up football or women for a year, which would it be? 14. Are there any shirt & tie combos you do not own? 15. What's your favourite Subway sauce? (Combinations accepted) 1) Imagine, if you will, that were to be a fruit war. Which fruit would triumph and why? 2) But which fruit would you like to triumph (and why)? (Extra marks for diagrams). 3) Liken yourself to a fruit or vegetable. Explain your decision. 4) Imagine you're a Director with little taste but a good reputation able to command the respect of the stars. Your budget is tiny and you've been charged with directing a movie, a sequel in the Carry On series. Tell us the title of the film, an outline of the basic plot and who from FT is cast as which character within the Blockbuster Smash. 5) The People's Hero is swinging by to your place to be fed, watered and entertained. What do you feed me and provide for me to drink? How do you entertain me? Do you enjoy yourself or do you make a ridiculous excuse to make me leave early? What is that excuse? 6) Dominic Diamond - Legend or disturbing wan ker? 7) What is your ideal job (and lets not be silly here). 8) Invent a new product. Diagrams appreciated. I need full details including a 'name', what it is used for, how much it would retail for and how you would market it. 9) You are a salesman working on commission. Find me a shirt/tie combo online and convince me to purchase. GO! 10) If you could remove 8 words from the English language (this is to say that anyone who utters these words in future, face torture) what would the eight words be. 11) Ian Marshall turns up at your door stinking of cheap booze asking for a place to kip for the night. Do you allow him to stay? If so, how do you justify it to Gerry, who you turned away last month? 12) I find the coin currency of this country quite interesting. The notes whoever, leave me cold.. that isn't to say that I don't value them - they are worth money! I just mean they are a bit boring. What are you going to do about it? 13) Create a superband, you're the lead singer. What 12 songs do you cover for your debut epic album? 14) Assign yourself a nickname. 15) Select the next person to face fifteen questions and assign them a new nickname (I'll then pressure them to change their username)
The People's Hero Posted 4 July 2006 Posted 4 July 2006 Cat Burger is something of a legend in the comedy stakes. Looking forwards to these..
Coxy Posted 5 July 2006 Posted 5 July 2006 .... i thought that said comedy penis then, quite a relief when i read it again
macbeth Posted 6 July 2006 Posted 6 July 2006 I have to answer all of them? you've been built up as a comedy genius so don't let us down........picture the poor little kiddies faces if you fail to deliver
Cat Burger Posted 6 July 2006 Posted 6 July 2006 This build up is upsetting, what is the alternate questions thing all about?
macbeth Posted 6 July 2006 Posted 6 July 2006 This build up is upsetting, what is the alternate questions thing all about? i think it means you can start from either list at number 1 then go to the other list to number 2 and back to your first list number 3 and so on........does that make sense
The People's Hero Posted 6 July 2006 Posted 6 July 2006 Why are they telling me what to do like that? I'm lost. But I want.. to be lost.
Alexikokopops Posted 6 July 2006 Posted 6 July 2006 Why are they telling me what to do like that? Because you touch yourself at night. Fact.
Knighton Matt Posted 6 July 2006 Author Posted 6 July 2006 Why are they telling me what to do like that? Because I can. Just answer some questions Burger doesn't matter which ones...
Cat Burger Posted 7 July 2006 Posted 7 July 2006 1. Who in your opinion was the most luscious young lady in Beaumont Hall that balmy summer of 2003? Peter Canero 2. What is Maidstone like on a Friday night? Market Harborough 3. What time is the last bus home? Nottingham Sky Link goes every half an hour til about 9 then every hour til about 8 in the morning, I think I've caught it at every single time possible. 5. Who's your favourite Leicester player ever, other than Ian Marshall? Tony Cottee, such a neat lad. From his appearance to his finishing, immaculate. 6. Who's the best looking famous lady you reckon you could get into bed for sex and that? Good one, I reckon Jane from Eastenders. I don't know any of the Hollyoaks birds these days, the old one in that? 7. What's your middle name? Olivia 8. If you could have anything to eat right now, what would it be? A small neglected Australian child in a Dingo. 9. What is your favourite insult? Calling a woman a man. 10. Who do you prefer, Nationwider or Knighton Matt? Pretty sure they both laugh at my shit jokes, so I can't choose. 13. If you had to give up football or women for a year, which would it be? Women, I have already given them up for a year and a half before, fvcking cvnts, at least I know I can do that, I'm not sure I could go year without at least kicking a ball round. 15. What's your favourite Subway sauce? (Combinations accepted) Don't like sauces, they don't have gravy do they? I like it dry EHEHEHEHEHE 1) Imagine, if you will, that were to be a fruit war. Which fruit would triumph and why? I reckon the Melon family would be amongst the top seeds in that battle 2) But which fruit would you like to triumph (and why)? (Extra marks for diagrams). For his upper and lower body strength. 3) Liken yourself to a fruit or vegetable. Explain your decision. I look like that now. 4) Imagine you're a Director with little taste but a good reputation able to command the respect of the stars. Your budget is tiny and you've been charged with directing a movie, a sequel in the Carry On series. Tell us the title of the film, an outline of the basic plot and who from FT is cast as which character within the Blockbuster Smash. Thracian, Steven, Macbeth in...Pervy old men, it just follows them about, it's more like 'Grumpy Old Men' than anything 'Carry On'...Basically they get into a few scrapes, get a few slaps, get drunk and end up in bed together...They wonder how they got there and stuff, you know how it goes. 5) The People's Hero is swinging by to your place to be fed, watered and entertained. What do you feed me and provide for me to drink? How do you entertain me? Do you enjoy yourself or do you make a ridiculous excuse to make me leave early? What is that excuse? Bread, Water and Altered Beast on the Sega Mega Drive. 6) Dominic Diamond - Legend or disturbing wan ker? According to Zoilo Castro, village chief of San Pedro Cutud, Diamond would be the second British national and the fourth foreigner to be nailed on the cross since the 1990s. willy puller 7) What is your ideal job (and lets not be silly here). Poet and house husband. 10) If you could remove 8 words from the English language (this is to say that anyone who utters these words in future, face torture) what would the eight words be. Equality Peace Freedom Tranquility Oldpeople Chav Reality American 11) Ian Marshall turns up at your door stinking of cheap booze asking for a place to kip for the night. Do you allow him to stay? If so, how do you justify it to Gerry, who you turned away last month? As long as I could have some cheap booze, like Frosty Jack or Super T I'd let him in. I'd say to Gerry I didn't let him in because I was entertaining some female company, which was probably true EHEHEHEHE 12) I find the coin currency of this country quite interesting. The notes whoever, leave me cold.. that isn't to say that I don't value them - they are worth money! I just mean they are a bit boring. What are you going to do about it? Euro. 14) Assign yourself a nickname. Krissy 15) Select the next person to face fifteen questions and assign them a new nickname (I'll then pressure them to change their username) Libertine A.K.A Ian Huntley.
Knighton Matt Posted 7 July 2006 Author Posted 7 July 2006 1. Who in your opinion was the most luscious young lady in Beaumont Hall that balmy summer of 2003? Peter Canero 2. What is Maidstone like on a Friday night? Market Harborough 3. What time is the last bus home? Nottingham Sky Link goes every half an hour til about 9 then every hour til about 8 in the morning, I think I've caught it at every single time possible. 5. Who's your favourite Leicester player ever, other than Ian Marshall? Tony Cottee, such a neat lad. From his appearance to his finishing, immaculate. 6. Who's the best looking famous lady you reckon you could get into bed for sex and that? Good one, I reckon Jane from Eastenders. I don't know any of the Hollyoaks birds these days, the old one in that? 7. What's your middle name? Olivia 8. If you could have anything to eat right now, what would it be? A small neglected Australian child in a Dingo. 9. What is your favourite insult? Calling a woman a man. 10. Who do you prefer, Nationwider or Knighton Matt? Pretty sure they both laugh at my shit jokes, so I can't choose. 13. If you had to give up football or women for a year, which would it be? Women, I have already given them up for a year and a half before, fvcking cvnts, at least I know I can do that, I'm not sure I could go year without at least kicking a ball round. 15. What's your favourite Subway sauce? (Combinations accepted) Don't like sauces, they don't have gravy do they? I like it dry EHEHEHEHEHE 1) Imagine, if you will, that were to be a fruit war. Which fruit would triumph and why? I reckon the Melon family would be amongst the top seeds in that battle 2) But which fruit would you like to triumph (and why)? (Extra marks for diagrams). For his upper and lower body strength. 3) Liken yourself to a fruit or vegetable. Explain your decision. I look like that now. 4) Imagine you're a Director with little taste but a good reputation able to command the respect of the stars. Your budget is tiny and you've been charged with directing a movie, a sequel in the Carry On series. Tell us the title of the film, an outline of the basic plot and who from FT is cast as which character within the Blockbuster Smash. Thracian, Steven, Macbeth in...Pervy old men, it just follows them about, it's more like 'Grumpy Old Men' than anything 'Carry On'...Basically they get into a few scrapes, get a few slaps, get drunk and end up in bed together...They wonder how they got there and stuff, you know how it goes. 5) The People's Hero is swinging by to your place to be fed, watered and entertained. What do you feed me and provide for me to drink? How do you entertain me? Do you enjoy yourself or do you make a ridiculous excuse to make me leave early? What is that excuse? Bread, Water and Altered Beast on the Sega Mega Drive. 6) Dominic Diamond - Legend or disturbing wan ker? willy puller 7) What is your ideal job (and lets not be silly here). Poet and house husband. 10) If you could remove 8 words from the English language (this is to say that anyone who utters these words in future, face torture) what would the eight words be. Equality Peace Freedom Tranquility Oldpeople Chav Reality American 11) Ian Marshall turns up at your door stinking of cheap booze asking for a place to kip for the night. Do you allow him to stay? If so, how do you justify it to Gerry, who you turned away last month? As long as I could have some cheap booze, like Frosty Jack or Super T I'd let him in. I'd say to Gerry I didn't let him in because I was entertaining some female company, which was probably true EHEHEHEHE 12) I find the coin currency of this country quite interesting. The notes whoever, leave me cold.. that isn't to say that I don't value them - they are worth money! I just mean they are a bit boring. What are you going to do about it? Euro. 14) Assign yourself a nickname. Krissy 15) Select the next person to face fifteen questions and assign them a new nickname (I'll then pressure them to change their username) Libertine A.K.A Ian Huntley. You didn't dissappoint! :laugh: :laugh:
crazy horse Posted 8 July 2006 Posted 8 July 2006 comedy genius? i haven't laughed so much since i had root canal work;pathetic
macbeth Posted 8 July 2006 Posted 8 July 2006 comedy genius? i haven't laughed so much since i had root canal work;pathetic just cos he didn't mention you !! .........he'll turn his razor sharp wit towards you now... be warned
crazy horse Posted 8 July 2006 Posted 8 July 2006 just cos he didn't mention you !! .........he'll turn his razor sharp wit towards you now... be warned whoooooooooooo...........i'm quivvering he's got an arsenal of repartee gillettes........i'm off
Cat Burger Posted 8 July 2006 Posted 8 July 2006 You're 'crazy' man, a real rebel. Come back to me when you have 4200 posts and I might listen to you.
stez Posted 8 July 2006 Posted 8 July 2006 now now ladies, the burger is like bernard manning without the racisim, homophobia and sexism.
Fez of Mahrez Posted 8 July 2006 Posted 8 July 2006 now now ladies, the burger is like bernard manning without the racisim, homophobia and sexism. Fat and old?
Alexikokopops Posted 10 July 2006 Posted 10 July 2006 comedy genius? i haven't laughed so much since i had root canal work;pathetic Amusingly enough that didn't make sense. Well it did, but certainly not in the way I imagine you meant it. Maybe if you'd put "I haven't laughed so little since I had root canal work. Pathetic" it would've worked.
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