Daggers Posted 14 November 2006 Posted 14 November 2006 In the ninth and final level of Dante's Hell sits Satan, the fallen angel. He sits there plotting how to crush God and how to claim souls. One of his better idea's was to collect them through blasphemy ~ and so he designed Ikea's latest range of beds. We bought one of those beds. The mattress sits on top of two sets of slats that are kept in place by a central strut, well that is the idea. In practice the slats sit on the central strut until the minute you fall into REM sleep...and then they slip off. I got to sleep at five o'clock this morning, once we pulled the mattresses off and put them on the floor. I blasphemed along the way...I'm going to hell. I believe Satan is now turning his hand to a new range of sofa's for Ikea that pierce the back of your legs with springs.
Nationwider Posted 14 November 2006 Posted 14 November 2006 It's not just me then!!!!! Crappy slatty things. We had to use our sofa bed (Exarby, I think? Or possibly HeepórshÃÂt?) a few weeks ago when we were decorating. I fell through the bastard three times, waking a very small child and it's extremely irritible mother on each occasion. I ended up sleeping on the floor for two nights, sans mattress, as this was retained by the aforementioned female. Now, I'm not saying I have the physique of Bonnie Langford (bigger tits, maybe), but I'm not Jabba The Hutt either. Satan, if you're listening - you're obviously Swedish.
Daggers Posted 15 November 2006 Author Posted 15 November 2006 Satan used shoddy metal on the central support...which his minions informed Mrs.DB have now been replaced by an altogether stronger unit. I expect Old Nick will ensure that delivery takes an age...and then said replacement support will eject thousands of needles whenever it senses arousal. :pinch:
Guest Posted 15 November 2006 Posted 15 November 2006 What you want is one of these.... Stylish beds are for masochists.
The People's Hero Posted 15 November 2006 Posted 15 November 2006 And the French. Awww... The French. I mean.. Awww Ze Glorious Francaises Non?
cisono Posted 15 November 2006 Posted 15 November 2006 What you want is one of these.... Stylish beds are for masochists. That looks stylish in its own unique way. (Surely looks comfortable though!!!)
Guest Posted 15 November 2006 Posted 15 November 2006 We have this delightful piece of furniture, it's got many slats.
Daggers Posted 15 November 2006 Author Posted 15 November 2006 We have this delightful piece of furniture, it's got many slats. I'd be forever tripping over those draws. They should have made one where you could push them all the way in.
Guest Posted 15 November 2006 Posted 15 November 2006 I'd be forever tripping over those draws. They should have made one where you could push them all the way in. But it's fun when the other half is stumbling about in the dark.
Katy Posted 15 November 2006 Posted 15 November 2006 But it's fun when the other half is stumbling about in the dark. Oh, STumbling..............
Guest Posted 15 November 2006 Posted 15 November 2006 Oh, STumbling.............. What else could I mean?
Master Fox Posted 15 November 2006 Posted 15 November 2006 We have this delightful piece of furniture, it's got many slats. That looks rubbish
Katy Posted 15 November 2006 Posted 15 November 2006 I think someone has the mardies as his unfunny pic has been deleted.
Guest Posted 15 November 2006 Posted 15 November 2006 I think someone has the mardies as his unfunny pic has been deleted. Has it? Oh dear.
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