Mark Posted 4 April 2005 Posted 4 April 2005 Actual label instructions on consumer goods... On a blanket from Taiwan: NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists: REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU On a Korean kitchen knife: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN On an Indonesian packet of nuts: OPEN PACKET AND EAT CONTENTS On a pack of Sainsbury's (UK) salted peanuts: WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS On a Taiwanese shampoo: USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE On a Marks and Spencer's (UK) bread and butter pudding: WARNING: PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING On the bottle-top of a flavoured milk drink: AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT On an Aussie iron: WARNING: NEVER IRON CLOTHES ON THE BODY. On a New Zealand insect spray: THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS. In an American guide to setting up a new computer: TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was on the INSIDE of the box.) On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD. On Tesco's tiramisu dessert: DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (printed on bottom of the box) On Boot's children's cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY. US Hair Dryer DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING 7up CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE. CAP MAY BLOW OFF CAUSING EYE OR OTHER SERIOUS INJURY. POINT AWAY FROM FACE AND PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY WHEN OPENING. Many Irish Mineral Waters claim that the water was in the Spring for thousands of years , then they have this ... BEST BEFORE JAN 2002 Various Computers <ERROR> : KEYBOARD NOT DETECTED. PRESS F1 TO RESUME Nabisco Easy Cheese FOR BEST RESULTS, REMOVE CAP. Baby Oil KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN Little Ones Baby Lotion KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN Childrens Cough Syrup THIS FORMULA MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS, IF AFFECTED DO NOT OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY OR DRIVE A VEHICLE. Unknown Birth Control Pills DO NOT USE IF YOU ARE PREGNANT, INTENT TO BECOME PREGNANT ,OR MIGHT BE PREGNANT. Nytol Sleep Aid WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS Unknown Christmas Lights WARNING: FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. Komatsu Floodlight THIS FLOODLIGHT IS CAPABLE OF ILLUMINATING LARGE AREAS, EVEN IN THE DARK Superman Halloween Costume WARNING! CAPE DOES NOW FACILITATE FLIGHT WHEN WORN. Husquvarna Swedish Chainsaw DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH HANDS. On a promotional bag of crisps in UK You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a frozen dinner Serving suggestion : Defrost. On a cigarette lighter Do not use near a naked flame
Knighton Matt Posted 4 April 2005 Posted 4 April 2005 quality find. particularly like the serving suggestion: defrost! is it me or are those serving suggestion things absolutely pointless its like when u buy a dessert and its got a picture of the dessert on a plate, labelled serving suggestion and its like what did u think i was going to do with it eat it off the floor?!
stez Posted 4 April 2005 Posted 4 April 2005 quality find. particularly like the serving seuggestion: defrost!is it me or are those serving suggestion things absolutely pointless its like when u buy a dessert and its got a picture of the dessert on a plate, labelled serving suggestion and its like what did u think i was going to do with it off the floor?! 87592[/snapback] if you buy hovis loaves the bag is covered in tomatos (brown) or beans (white) with serving suggestion on!
Lukeh Posted 4 April 2005 Posted 4 April 2005 Actual label instructions on consumer goods...On a pack of Sainsbury's (UK) salted peanuts: WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS 87581[/snapback] Great stuff!
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