rotherhamfox Posted 1 June 2005 Posted 1 June 2005 Hello there everyone, been a while since ive been posting, sure your all made up im back! Hurrah. The following story is completely true and took place less than 20 mins ago. I woke up this morning excited like any adolescent would knowing porn was going to be delivered to his house, i knew the house would be empty therefore i could enjoy it too its full capacity, utilising every tv in the house, a why dont you in all of the bedrooms, and the front room. Sadly my ideas of sexual use of various rooms, was shattered by the fact my father had come home from work to pick his lunch up which he had forgotten earlier in the day. It was at this time, Nick one of my best mates and porn delivery man arrived at the house with the package, now Nick was only letting me borrow this bit of blue as his video player isnt working at the moment, he gets the porn off his step dad(who's ebay account we went on last week and bid for some KY Jelly, the personal lubricant to end vaginal dryness, we only bid 10p and thought nothing of it, we won and its costing 12 pounds to have it sent over from Hong Kong). Nick did warn me before he brought the vid, one of about 30, that on the off chance it maybe A Knights tale starring Sean Connery and Richard Gere, he wasnt able to check to see if it was that as his Ferguson videostar was broken. I opened the door to see a worried Nick as he had spotted my father only yards away on the telephone, my dad was beginning to wonder what it was that Nick was handing over. After handing over what Nick loudly called 'An introduction to football reffing starring Mike Riley', he made a quick getaway. I was looking rather nervous, me dad noticed this and took the video from my grasp, i was like its only a film, father replied i thought it was a reffing video, to clear this undeciesevness we must watch it to find out. As my father put the video in the samsung player i prayed for Richard Gere to appear wielding a large metal sword, instead of a pork one. To hear Sean Connerys voice would be far sweeter than busty Brendas. The video was blank at the start, with the anticipation growing i tried to deter my fathers attention by telling him there was a large bird on the rockery, too no avail. It started up and too my amazement was a Knights tale, my father still wasnt convinced, he wasnt sure whether it maybe an elaborate medieval porn set or not, expecting some workers to come to the damsels door and say 'Were here to fix the harpsichord'. But Richard Gere who i had hated all the years appeared to my joy and my purity in my fathers eyes was intact, if Dario had, i would have been litterally screwed.
Ric Flair Posted 1 June 2005 Posted 1 June 2005 Hello there everyone, been a while since ive been posting, sure your all made up im back! Hurrah. The following story is completely true and took place less than 20 mins ago. I woke up this morning excited like any adolescent would knowing porn was going to be delivered to his house, i knew the house would be empty therefore i could enjoy it too its full capacity, utilising every tv in the house, a why dont you in all of the bedrooms, and the front room. Sadly my ideas of sexual use of various rooms, was shattered by the fact my father had come home from work to pick his lunch up which he had forgotten earlier in the day. It was at this time, Nick one of my best mates and porn delivery man arrived at the house with the package, now Nick was only letting me borrow this bit of blue as his video player isnt working at the moment, he gets the porn off his step dad(who's ebay account we went on last week and bid for some KY Jelly, the personal lubricant to end vaginal dryness, we only bid 10p and thought nothing of it, we won and its costing 12 pounds to have it sent over from Hong Kong). Nick did warn me before he brought the vid, one of about 30, that on the off chance it maybe A Knights tale starring Sean Connery and Richard Gere, he wasnt able to check to see if it was that as his Ferguson videostar was broken. I opened the door to see a worried Nick as he had spotted my father only yards away on the telephone, my dad was beginning to wonder what it was that Nick was handing over. After handing over what Nick loudly called 'An introduction to football reffing starring Mike Riley', he made a quick getaway. I was looking rather nervous, me dad noticed this and took the video from my grasp, i was like its only a film, father replied i thought it was a reffing video, to clear this undeciesevness we must watch it to find out. As my father put the video in the samsung player i prayed for Richard Gere to appear wielding a large metal sword, instead of a pork one. To hear Sean Connerys voice would be far sweeter than busty Brendas. The video was blank at the start, with the anticipation growing i tried to deter my fathers attention by telling him there was a large bird on the rockery, too no avail. It started up and too my amazement was a Knights tale, my father still wasnt convinced, he wasnt sure whether it maybe an elaborate medieval porn set or not, expecting some workers to come to the damsels door and say 'Were here to fix the harpsichord'. But Richard Gere who i had hated all the years appeared to my joy and my purity in my fathers eyes was intact, if Dario had, i would have been litterally screwed. 118071[/snapback] Another excellent story, i've missed them.
Guest Posted 1 June 2005 Posted 1 June 2005 Phew, what a lucky escape. Who was A Knight's Tale for, anyway? I hope it wasn't anyone sensitive like me!
davieG Posted 1 June 2005 Posted 1 June 2005 Nice story. I'm intrigued to know whether you get paid for the product placements, obviously not much for the Ferguson Videostar but Samsung should be a good earner and maybe a lttle brown envelope from Mike Riley or an agreement to give us a penalty the next time he referees one of our games. Either that or it's a load of old bollocks I mean how many porn tales would bother to mention a Ferguson Videostar B)
rotherhamfox Posted 1 June 2005 Author Posted 1 June 2005 Nick, the porn guy, says he hopes to bring the real thing tomorrow. Lets hope there wasn't a sequeal which hes video'd over Latina Luvverlies.
Steven Posted 1 June 2005 Posted 1 June 2005 A cracking read, but I have to believe it was made up though.
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