Nationwider

Relax. Disappointed bidders proceed directly HERE for purchasing pleasure.

Bargains. Much cheapness. PS2 Slimline Black, no games, excellent cond Netgear wireless ADSL router/modem 108Mbps, the best item on eBay this year

I moved stuff about, reducing the amount of useless stuff by 0.1%. The remaining stuff was put back, only more neatly. Then I had a coleslaw sandwich.

I fear Mr Ulyanov's wifey. I'm going to buy a dog and walk it right now, just to be on the safe side.

Linux users... Can anyone recommend a very compact flavour of Linux to use on an old-ish laptop. It's got to be small as the HD is only 12Gb and I'm aiming for a very paired-down system. Nowt flashy for us northern folk, like. I used to use Red Hat yonks ago, but I've completely lost touch with things Linuxy. I just need to word process and access the internet. Ubuntu seems very popular, but it looks a bit big. Any recommendations?

Cornflakes with lager. Cornflakes with milk, and a bottle of lager for later, to be more precise.

Thanks chaps.

A couple of quickies.... Freeware Anti-Spam Software for Windows Mail/Outlook Express - can anyone recommend a good one? iPod Nano - it charges from USB, right? So if I acquire from the USA, there's no issues over power supplies?

Good evening eBayists. A timely reminder that a really rather ace eBay thread exists (its this thread, in fact) for all your buying and selling needs. Happy jumblesailing!

Morning spent in agony. Thanks to prescription drugs, the afternoon has been pleasantly woozy and pain-free.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar and the barman tuns round and says, "Is this meant to be some sort of a joke?".

Best (and most random) sig of 2007, Fez!

Cleaned the house from top to toe. Now feeling massively superior to all those retards who bought fireworks from Tesco and are now busying themselves in their back gardens pissing their hard earned up into the air. Wanquers.

While we're on the subject of the media influencing public opinion, let's all enjoy this little savlo of headlines from last week's Meldrew-ite Daily Express: October 8: October 9: October 12: October 13: Aimless thrashing around for headlines at the expense of a four year old girl, or high-quality journalism?

Whilst I wouldn't rule them out 100%, the odds on them killing their daughter (accidentally or otherwise), hiding the body, maintaining the sang froid to successfully dupe the police, their friends, family and the media, and then embark on such a freakshow media circus tour whilst the world (literally) watched them every step of the way, are truly outlandish. That would probably make them two of the greatest and most successful super criminals ever. Hats off to them if that's the case. Stranger things etc..... On the balance of probabilities, they didn't kill their daughter physically with their own hands. But in my eyes, they've committed a crime on a par with that, and are serving their own private life sentence in hell.

I'm interested. Bring it on. Preferably in not-too-piecemeal non-pantomime villain fashion.

Latent homophobia aside, this story always makes me chuckle on a number of levels... Student gay police horse jibe etc ..... and I am the first person to type student gay horse into Google today?

It takes a spin doctor (Spudgun) to recognise a spin doctor or two I suppose. An extremely flatulent first 6 minutes from the anti-McCann corner, but the last 3 minutes, he/she snapped out of it a bit and crystallised my feelings on the McCanns quite succinctly. Still a tacky production though.

Out of curiosity, and apologies if you've already stated this, but are you: 1. a journo 2. a copper 3. a lawyer 4. an interested observer 5. a friend or relative of the McCanns, or other 6. Robert Murat and are you A. Party to inside information, or B. Just having a punt at what's going on Just so we know where to place you, as you're interesting, yet BartonFox-esque in your vagueness...

I would think the putrid stench of the British tabloid press would block out the smell of even the most decayed of bodies.

Which one of the three are you claiming to be then?

That is a truly fantastic story. Well, I thought so anyway.

...and a vastly inferior Wagon Wheel at that. Nothing riles old NW more than a bad Americanised version of an elevenses favourite. Touch my fig roll, Uncle Sam, and I'll, I'll.....

I'm sure if they need a specialist witness Fez, they'll come and ask for you.

No Raj, I just think you're far too nice a bloke. Don't ever try to commit a crime - you'd be rubbish at it.