Miquel The Work Geordie

We are a phenomenally uncool club. Sponsor that looks like it was designed by the jabronis off the Apprentice, can't wait to see this on the barbecue charcoal packing third kit

Forgettable maybe, not necessarily bad, though.

I have no respect for Pepe the same way I have no respect for Paul Konchesky. Either of them pull me from a burning building and I'd still have contempt for them for being fake baldies

They aren't always cagey, the game before this one was perfectly fine

Tell you what, the globalisation and pull of the Prem hasn't half taken the gloss off some of these tournaments. When I was growing up Portugal were an exotic melting pot of talent from glamorous European clubs with sexy names, men with lovely hair — now half of them have played in ****ing Wolverhampton. Same vibe as when we loaned out Ghezzal to Fiorentina, really dragging them through the mud

You talking about Ronaldo or the mother in law !!!

I don't want him, looks like a robot wearing human skin. Dead behind the eyes.

Steve Wilson absolutely desperate for us to enjoy this isn't he, you can say it's high quality all you like pal, this is boring as sin!

Remember when Michael Oliver had lines shaved in his hair

Dani Olmo and Nico Williams are fun to watch and aren't complete shit bags but the rest of this Spain side man, absolute gimps

It's Swindon South not the bloody X Factor

Why's this woman dressed like Prince?

I think IDLES are rubbish, maybe I just don't get it, I've got mates that love them but it proper passes me by.

The guy got rattled by Neil Warnock and has done nothing in two years

Djed Spence seems like a real jabroni, no thanks

A whiteout logo on a washed out sky blue sleeve is gonna be honking for legibility brother

Let down by the sleeve sponsor otherwise I'd get married in that West Ham kit

Why is Sam Matterface ****ing shouting, the games finished pal

What a ****ing save

Arnautovic has been rancid

The kneecap one has to be more painful imo

We've also failed to get fees for Kel, Tielemans, Soyuncu, Praet, Slimani... Got to be the best part of 120m there waltzing off.

We were but he either stayed put or picked up a serious injury from memory?

What era? For me the cobbles have been phenomenal recently, some great storylines simmering

He's got an infinitely better head on him than Drinkwater did. Even if it doesn't work out for Dewsbury-Hall at Chelsea, there isn't a cat in hell's chance his career trajectory mirrors DD's after leaving us.