Totally Gobsmacked

[kushiro]

It's amazing how often it happens. Researching  the history of this club you unearth a little gem that leaves you shouting 'Eureka!' Or something even stronger.

 

It's a poster on the Bentley's Roof forum called 'Upson Downes' that I have to thank for this one. Last week he was remembering a game at Everton in the sixties when Stanley Matthews was playing for Stoke, and he got hit by a ball which flew into the crowd. That ball went:

right into my face. My head was knocked right back and it felt like my nose had broke and flattened like a boxer's and hurt like hell, my eyes were watering and I was mortified the blokes would think I was crying. Wet mud was spattered over my face. All the blokes around were saying "****n'ell lad dat muster'urt!" and the like, patting me on the head. I'll never forget it!

 

Like so many of the wonderful old anecdotes posted on these forums, it leaves you wanting to find out more.

 

The first thought was, 'Can I put a date on that game?' Stoke were promoted back to the top flight in 1963, but Matthews played only ten games for them after that before he retired. Could one of those have been at Goodison?  

 

The only candidate was Saturday November 23rd 1963, Everton 2 Stoke City 0.

 

I had a look at the archives and - bingo:

 

 

After missing several games with injury, Stanley was back.

 

He was now 48, but he was still such a draw that his presence would lead to banner headlines like that, and add thousands to the gate.

 

But before we come to the match, we need to look at the build-up in more detail.

 

At Everton's previous two home games, it wasn't events on the pitch that made the headlines. Against Spurs, visiting keeper Bill Brown told the press that a dart had been thrown from behind the goal at the Gwladys Street end. Then against Blackburn Rovers, Everton's Tony Kay was sent off, and after the game, as the Echo reported, 'Several thousand irate fans gathered outside the ground chanting 'We want the referee'.

 

The club, fearing the FA's response, decided to take preemptive measures. They closed off a seciton of terracing behind each goal in the hope of thwarting the missile throwers. - an unprecedented step in English football.

 

This was the bizarre scene at the Gwladys Street end:

 

A credulous Echo reporter stated that 'the barriers will not prevent people throwing missiles,  but any missile thrown will have lost its impetus by the time it arrives'.  Hmmm. I don't know about you but even from that distance, I'd still fancy my chances with a rotten tomato or a threepenny bit. 

 

So the stage was set. The grand old gentelman of English football would grace a Merseyside pitch for the final time, to a backdrop of ugly anti-hooligan steel scaffolding. Truly the end of one era, and the onset of another.

 

Then, on the Friday afternoon came the real shocker. News broke that JFK had been shot in Dallas.

 

His death was marked across the country the following day. As Stanley Matthews lined up with his teammates at Goodison for a minute's silence, one Everton fan shouted 'Long live Khrushchev', and just to prove what a free country we live in, he was hurriedly ushered out of the ground.

 

Then came an urgent announcement. Everton had overlooked one key thing. What would happen if the match ball went behind the goal into that steel maze? They had to make an appeal for the club's young amateur players to assemble behind each goal and act as ball boys.

 

When the game kicked off, all eyes were on Stanley, and he was not letting anyone down:

 

 

 

He was struggling to link up with his fellow forwards though, and it was Everton who went in front with a Tony Kay 20-yarder.

 

At half-time the PA announcer took a break from playing Beatles records and gave an old classic a spin - 'Don't Fence Me In'. The crowd quickly got the joke and started singing along.

 

In the second half Derek Temple added a second and Everton ran out comfortable 2-0 winners. There were no further off the field incidents, and Everton chairman John Moores could congratulate himself on his splendid new crowd control idea. This is how the Gwladys Street end looked during the game:

 

 

 

In the Echo on Monday, the cartoonist focused on the obvious themes. This was Stanley:

 

 

 

And this was the ball boy in the barrier:

 

 

 

But it was the final panel of the cartoon that had me rubbing my eyes in disbelief. 

 

It seems that a young boy in the crowd, right behind one of those barriers, had been hit in the face by the ball and left in some distress:

 

 

The caption reads: 'The barriers were voted a great success, but the incident when Vernon's shot scudded into the crowd appears to have been overlooked'. And the speech bubble says, 'We'll report it to the Dart Players Association - someone kicked a football at him!'

 

Surely not. 

 

It couldn't be, could it?

 

Let's have a closer look at that poor face:

 

 

And recall the description of the incident:  

 

My head was knocked right back and it felt like my nose had broke and flattened like a boxer's and hurt like hell, my eyes were watering and I was mortified the blokes would think I was crying. Wet mud was spattered over my face. All the blokes around were saying "****n'ell lad dat muster'urt!"

 

A perfect description of the cartoon.

 

Now in his recollection, it was Stanley Matthews who kicked the ball at him, not Roy Vernon, but given the daze he was in you can expect a little mixing up of the details. 

 

There is only one conclusion we can sensibly reach. To borrow that famous line from The Bourne Ultimatum:

 

Jesus Christ. That's Upson Downes.

 

Edited 22 April 2024 by kushiro

[Stadt]

Only so many ways I can say fantastic as always @kushiro

[CPepFox]

Thank you! I learn a little bit more each time I read your contribution! 

[Vlad the Fox]

Fantastic article again.

 

On a side note, my mum didn’t like mathews, she hated how he would come out the tunnel last to receive his own applause. 

[davieG]

I saw Mathews play down Filbert St but can't remember exactly when

[Out Foxed]

2 hours ago, davieG said:

I saw Mathews play down Filbert St but can't remember exactly when

not sure that's gonna get an extensive write up in 60 years

[Woof]

When I was a student near there I saw Stanley Matthews play several times for Stoke at the end of his career.  He wandered around and usually took two defenders with him  He could still put in a good cross though.

[andy peake]

Thanks very much for the article. I shared it with an Everton fan who found it very interesting.

[kushiro]

2 hours ago, andy peake said:

Thanks very much for the article. I shared it with an Everton fan who found it very interesting.

Cheers.

 

I put it on the Everton forum:

 

Jesus Christ, That's.... | GrandOldTeam

[kushiro]

Upson Downes is now part of Everton heritage:

 

(slight misunderstanding though  - he wasn't a ball boy)

Edited 24 April 2024 by kushiro

[kushiro]

'Upson Downes' kindly sent me this photo of himself in Everton kit back at the time when the ball hit him in the face at Goodison:

 

[Out Foxed]