General Smuts Posted 23 February 2009 Posted 23 February 2009 Watch this space. Smutsy Wutsy is getting involved on this. Lets see what screening process it goes through.
StanSP Posted 25 February 2009 Posted 25 February 2009 Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML
Uncle Monty Posted 25 February 2009 Posted 25 February 2009 Cut my life into pieces this is my last resort
Asha Posted 25 February 2009 Posted 25 February 2009 Today, everyone at school was talking about some guy that had sex with another girl while he was going out with someone. I started to spread the rumor myself, until someone told me that that guy was my boyfriend. The other girl was my best friend. FML :laugh:
Uncle Albert Posted 25 February 2009 Posted 25 February 2009 Some of these are brilliant, the chatroom one is my favourite.
DB11 Posted 25 February 2009 Posted 25 February 2009 Some of these are brilliant, the chatroom one is my favourite. What??? A chatroom category?? I've not seen that
samlcfc Posted 25 February 2009 Posted 25 February 2009 Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML that site is pretty funny
Uncle Albert Posted 25 February 2009 Posted 25 February 2009 "Today I was in a chatroom, speaking to a girl. We liked each other and got on well. She told me that she had dumped her boyfriend because he was such a bastard. 20 minutes later, we sent each other our photos... it was my ex. FML" What??? A chatroom category?? I've not seen that You really are fucking stupid. Read above cocknose.
Tabou Posted 27 February 2009 Posted 27 February 2009 Bumppppp Today, I told my boyfriend that I'd be going on a trip to Europe. I assured him that I would never cheat on him with any european guys. He replied with, "Why would I be worried? You're not very pretty." FML Today, I took the subway to school and the man across from me would not stop staring at my breasts. Finally the train came to my stop, so as I got up I said "Nothing to see now, asshole", but then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off too. He was blind. FML Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." And my personal favourite... Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around. I was sitting up on my bed when he reached down near my privates and said, "Wow babe, did you shave today? It's so soft..." He was actually touching my bottom roll above my vagina which delightfully formed a crease. FML
DB11 Posted 27 February 2009 Posted 27 February 2009 You really are fucking stupid.Read above cocknose. I thought it might be that once I'd posted. I scroll up and read it but cba to edit my post. Cocknose.
JoeyB Posted 23 July 2009 Posted 23 July 2009 Just found this site again! Had some more pure laughs! just found this one: pretty gutting: Today, I asked my boyfriend to come over for dinner because I had some big news. He said he did too, and came over. After stuffing his face full of food, he broke up with me and said he'd re-enlisted into the marines, leaving in two weeks. I was going to tell him i'm 9 weeks pregnant. FML
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.