rossporterlc Posted 27 June 2005 Posted 27 June 2005 A guy sees a sign in front of a house - "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden. The bloke goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Sure do." the dog replies. "So, what's your story?" The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5 about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running." "The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in." "I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded loads of medals. Had a wife, a few puppies, and now I'm just retired." The geezer is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, "Ten quid." The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" And the man replies........ "Cause he's a f*^*!*g liar. He's never done any of that stuff"
stez Posted 27 June 2005 Posted 27 June 2005 A guy sees a sign in front of a house - "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden. The bloke goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Sure do." the dog replies. "So, what's your story?" The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5 about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running." "The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in." "I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded loads of medals. Had a wife, a few puppies, and now I'm just retired." The geezer is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, "Ten quid." The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" And the man replies........ "Cause he's a f*^*!*g liar. He's never done any of that stuff" 128460[/snapback] :laugh: :laugh: excellent!
City Fan Posted 27 June 2005 Posted 27 June 2005 I've just now read it again and still don't geddit!!!
stez Posted 27 June 2005 Posted 27 June 2005 I've just now read it again and still don't geddit!!! 128518[/snapback]
filbertway Posted 27 June 2005 Posted 27 June 2005 A guy sees a sign in front of a house - "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden. The bloke goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Sure do." the dog replies. "So, what's your story?" The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5 about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running." "The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in." "I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded loads of medals. Had a wife, a few puppies, and now I'm just retired." The geezer is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, "Ten quid." The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" And the man replies........ "Cause he's a f*^*!*g liar. He's never done any of that stuff" 128460[/snapback] :laugh: :laugh: excellent! 128514[/snapback] lol very good
Hitesh Posted 28 June 2005 Posted 28 June 2005 I've just now read it again and still don't geddit!!! 128518[/snapback] Read it out loud a few times and you will get it. I had to read it twice just to understand it. It is funny.
rossporterlc Posted 28 June 2005 Author Posted 28 June 2005 i don't think it is a joke that can be explained
City Fan Posted 28 June 2005 Posted 28 June 2005 i still don't get it 128960[/snapback] Same here! Can no one explain it? I have read it about 8 times.
EmLeee Posted 28 June 2005 Posted 28 June 2005 i still don't get it 128960[/snapback] Same here! Can no one explain it? I have read it about 8 times. 128976[/snapback] there has to be an explanation for the few of us who are too stupid to get it!
City Fan Posted 28 June 2005 Posted 28 June 2005 there has to be an explanation for the few of us who are too stupid to get it! 128978[/snapback] Or it may be that we do get it but we dont think we get it because its not funny at all.........
EmLeee Posted 28 June 2005 Posted 28 June 2005 there has to be an explanation for the few of us who are too stupid to get it! 128978[/snapback] Or it may be that we do get it but we dont think we get it because its not funny at all......... 128980[/snapback] good theory but everyone else seems to find it funny
rossporterlc Posted 28 June 2005 Author Posted 28 June 2005 i'm crap at explaining sorry, hopefully some other kind poster will explain... *waits*
rossporterlc Posted 28 June 2005 Author Posted 28 June 2005 this one is a bit more obvious: MAN: I'd like to buy some dog food. CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog? MAN: Yes. CHECKOUT LADY: Where is he? MAN: He's at home. CHECKOUT LADY: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy. The next day, the man returns. MAN: I'd like to buy some cat food. CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a cat? MAN: Yes. CHECKOUT LADY: Well...where is he? MAN: He's at home! CHECKOUT LADY: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat. The next day the man returns. CHECKOUT LADY: What's in the sack? MAN: Put your hand inside. CHECKOUT LADY: Hmmm...It's warm and moist! What is it? MAN: I would like to buy some toilet paper.
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.