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Danno

Worst Dates

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Posted

Not so much a date as I'd been going out with this girl for a few months but cringe inducing none the less. My then girlfriend decided it would be nice if I met her beloved grandparents for a meal one day. We had the meal, I was on form, dazzling and charming, killing it you might say. We went to her grandparents house afterwards, her grandad showed me his vintage car, her gran took pictures of us as we were "such a lovely couple", I couldn't have been more impressive if I was a royal. Time to go, shake hands with grandad, smiles all round... then from the corner of my eye I see a deceptively quick gran dart across the room towards me, she's about to kiss me on the cheek, I unfortunately turn my head in shock at how quickly she's moving, her lips plant straight on mine, so for a few seconds I'm basically kissing her gran on the mouth! I can't even describe how awkward it was, I pretty much just looked at the floor the entire way out and my girlfriend is crying laughing the entire car journey home. I had the piss taken out of me every single meal I had with her family for years afterwards.

Posted

I accidentally snogged my deceptively speedy gran-in-law

 

I managed that feat, going for the cheek kiss and accidentally getting a full smacker on the lips, a couple of years ago.....with my cousin, an 80-year-old nun! Still, not many blokes can honestly claim to have snogged a real, live nun. I don't plan to make a habit of it, though...  :ph34r:

Posted

No real shockers but did once go on a blind date and she was absolutely awful.

Just remember getting so pissed on wine that I ended up being sick on the floor right next to the table in the restaurant.

Just walked out and hailed a cab. Don't really enjoy dates if im being honest.

Oh man! Of all people I'd have thought you would have had a few stories!

Mines shit, went to the pub with some bird and it was less of a date and more a kind of interview.

This tart wanted to know everything, ex's, how long I had lived in the village, every family detail, the strawthat broke the camels back was when she asked how much I earn. That is something I've always been very private about and to me she was just a gold digger.

Within 5 minutes I was ready to leave so after just the one pint I stood up and said it was time to leave and I would walk her home. Unfortunately for her we walked past my house first. Where by I said my goodbyes and left her to walk the rest on her own.

Bit boring really.

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