Bellend Sebastian

Had an old (and very solid) garage knocked down, that had a massive asbestos cement roof that needed its own (expensive) skip, took out some raised beds with foundations more like you'd have for a castle, a big old apple tree taken down, etc etc. Just mountains of shite, basically. Starting to look pretty sweet now, about time too

Sadly all I got for my trouble was some Jaffa Cakes. Spent about a grand on skips in the last 12 months so was determined to get rid of this last lot myself

Smashing stuff up is the best. I've taken four lots of bricks and concrete to the tip this morning and I doubt I'd feel any better if I'd taken a load of heroin

Every time someone gets trolled they should now just post this picture and say 'this is you, isn't it?'

The first thing I thought when I saw this was 'he really doesn't look the type' https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/apr/18/internet-troll-jailed-over-threats-and-racist-messages-to-mps

Maybe so, and I suppose could've done something daft if he'd remembered there's a speed camera just as you enter that bend. At least they were only about 80 yards from the A&E entrance when it came to a halt

The bloke sounds like a prize tit, but what sort of knobhead would feed back what you'd said to them? They're the real c**t in this story, for me

Drove past this this morning. Thought it would take some effort to crash there, so perhaps not surprising that driver has been arrested for being over alcohol limit: https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/leicester-news/man-arrested-after-mustang-wrecked-2759004

If it comes to it, you can always sue my estate when I'm gone

I still owe you a pint from about 10 years ago

That Britain First nutjob was pretty keen on looking out for her brother's interests

She's got a few small scars on her face which to me suggest she may have fought James Bond at some point

Couldn't believe he'd been holed up there for 7 years. How long was he planning on staying there?

Tiny "Tommy Robinson" springs to mind, for some reason

I'm sure I've said this on here before but it worked so well for me I'd put it in the water supply. I missed out on the night sweats, but not the latter. It didn't stop it completely, it just took a LOT more effort to, erm get where I needed to. Worth it though BOOM