Raj

A rich man and a poor man are buying gifts for their wives. The rich man says " i got the Mrs a brand new BMW and a diamond ring,that way if she doesnt like the ring,she can take it back in her new Beamer" The poor bloke replies " i got my wife a pair of slippers and a dildo,that way if she dont like the slippers,she can go fcuk herself'! I thank you!

Why is the weather in Britain like a muslim?? Cos its either Sunni or shi'ite!!!!

WON! Only 20 squid on a 2 quid double!!!! BUT I WON!!! Blackpool/Palace and Bristol rovers/Yeovil...last min pen for Bristol!!! I lost the other 2 lots of 2quid ones! See Geo this is BIG money Bets,not like yours!!!

Forget it Geo ....me thinks that Chandler Geezer "is a bit funny' like!!!! Oh Shit he doesn't like me using emoticons

You do realise this is primarily a Football forum dont you???? But you are right actually,i shouldn't waste my precious time in this thread as you make it so tedious!!!! Oh sorry you dont like emoticons do you??? Sorry!

PLEASE JUST LEAVE!!!!

Chandler....me thinks you need to go for a walk and get some fresh air

OI OI!!!!! Nudge Nudge wink wink....something to tell us Lisa!!!????

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish Garda. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a London lawyer, from London , and is certain that he has a better education than any paddy cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Garda's expense!! Irish Garda says,' License and registration, please.' London Lawyer says, 'What for?' Irish Garda replies, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the Stop sign.' London Lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.' Irish Garda says, 'You still didn't come to a complete stop. License And registration, please.' London Lawyer says, 'What's the difference?' Irish Garda says, 'The difference is, you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!' London Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between 'slow down' and 'stop', I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.' Irish Garda says, 'Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.' The London lawyer exits his vehicle. The Irish Garda takes out his baton and starts beating the **** out of the lawyer with it and says, 'Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?'

BOOOOOOOOORRRRRrrrrrriiiiiinnnnnnnnnggggggggg!!!!

Hope that is due to the half Marathon!!!! Well Done,good time!

boringggggggggggg

my head hurts!

I dont understand any of that! told you im as thick as shit!

2 eggs boiling away in a pan. One female egg turns round to the male egg "Ey up me duck(they are fom Leicester!!!) i gotta fooking crack!" he replies "No use fcuking tellin me,i int hard yet"

Enough to make any ones day! Yeah...i'm a tw@t!!!!

Chelsea FC unveil new aftershave in Club Shop. Its called 'The Special One' by U Go Boss!

3 fastest means of communication. 1- tele-phone 2.-tele-vision(?) 3.tele-woman Still want faster???? Tel her not to tell anyone!!!

lookwhaticando a woman??? I didn't realise tis a woman. Mind you considering the username i should have known!!!

Typical teachers..... As if they never make mistakes!!!

My last night shift tonight.