Raj

BASTARD!!!

I remember the 15 mins of singing "Iwan is a Welshman" during Half time v Cov(i think!)in Pen 2 Things like that will remain until my dying day!!!! I stil get palputations thinking about it now!!!!

Bush and Brown in meeting Bush's wife walks in. "what ya talking about Boys' 'We are making plans for World war 3" replies Bush "We are gonna kill 4 million muslims and 1 dentist" says Brown "Why 1 dentist?' Asks Bushs wife. "See i told you no one would ask about the 4million muslims" replies Bush......

Used to love chucking coins the banter between us in the kop, and the away fans. STANDING ON YOUR SEAT in Pen 2!!! THAT was football. You even had a sense of anticipation when you walked past Filbert Groceries and walking past the away fans to The Kop. A little look at the away fans,a few snidey comments a few racial slurs aimed at me....you couldn't beat it!!! And now....pppppfffffttttttttt!!!!

Tis only on here i can call her bitch. Im scared of her really!!!

Man asks his wife "what do you want for Xmas Bitch?" She replies " Something that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds" Christmas morning,Wifey opens her present "oi shit for brains,what the fcuks this crap?" Hubby says "it's a pair of weighing scles you fat bitch"

Asian family went for a drive in the countryside and come upon a sign reading MAX 30 So they stopped and 5 of the family got out!!!!! And i am asian so i CAN say it!!!!

Yes. Dont get off a moving bus....

In retaliation against the Sudanese Government i have named my penis Muhammad. Tonight it is getting 40 strokes!

Oh dear.... I purchased a teddy for a tenner. Named it Muhammad,and sold it for £20. Boy did i make a prophet!!! NO...i didnt laugh either....sorry!!!!

Well Done HHonch and Fez for your Big wins. I never win Big...

Im always here to listen Chandler!!!

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out. The father , not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son . . "Go get your mother."

Thracian "Im taking the Wife to the Carribbean for the summer holidays" Big Gibbo "Jamaica???" Thracian "No,she wanted to go"

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/index.ph...e5c1e9d1248a3f6

Cheers mate. Raj isnt my real name......its Muhammed Hanif Usaman Ali Khan...but my mates call me Raj for short!!!!

Id be no good as a bouncer as i am corrupt and would be open to bribery. And im only 5ft 6 tall !!!!!! Oh im only an idiot who likes to have a laugh. Im the sort of idiot people laugh at and then say "That Raj is a funny bloke,but boy is he a fcuking idiot"

I am an idiot. But PLEASE let me watch Only fools with you all. I wll then fcuk off!

shit..........sorry..............i'll leave.....

Sorry if these have already been posted but i aint searching thro 35 odd pages to check!!!! A young woman went to the antiques roadshow and dangled her tampon in the face of one of the experts " Go on then you clever twat,what period is this from???" Paddy shows an Essex girl the L and R labels on his wellies which signify Left and Right. "OH i Geddit!!!!" says the essex girl "That explains the C & A on my thong!!!" Fat bird in a bar says to a handsome bloke "Guess my weight and you can screw me" The bloke replies " 93 stone you ugly fat bitch" "Close enough you lucky bastard!!!!"she replies

old ones are the best....thats what i say to the Mrs anyway!!!

A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. \ Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the near darkness. He climbs slowly and gently into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring. "My darring," he whispers, "I know dis you firss time and you berry frighten. I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?" he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her. A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually shyly whispers back, "I want to try someting I have heard about from other girls... Numbaa 69." More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her... "You want... Garlic Chicken with corrifrowa?"

Confident then eh?!!!! Ive gone for a double on Bolton/Man C + Pompey/Blackburn DRAWS!