OntarioFox

Were he not a professional footballer, Kyle Walker would be behind the counter in a combo chip / kebab / pizza shop asking "you want chilli sauce bruv". Not the bossman, he's too dim for that, just the lad who finishes the order off and checks the Mirinda is stocked. Wouldn't trust him with shaving the pensioner's leg, he'd only manage to hurt himself. He's lucky he's a bit good at kicking a pig's bladder.

Claude Puel to Ten Haag right now

boring

And yet I keep going back, because as a place to go it's quite enjoyable, just one regularly ruined by our performance on the pitch. We get a caravan in Christchurch every year, have a fry-up, drink in the Bell, pop into that shop on Boscombe high street with the retro footy shirts, get a curry after the game. Cost me £85 last year because I was daft enough to make a results bet with my brother and dad on who would pay, and of course I had to pay if we lost. It's going to happen again, isn't it? I had better start saving some spare cash now.

FFS, no away day has filled me with more stress and disappointment over the past decade than Bournemouth. Never did make it to the Phillips Zimmer frame game, so it's just been annual misery for me. The closest I've come to seeing us win there was the draw when Vardy started the streak - it's been 8 years of pain since then. They are absolutely a bogey-team for us. See you nerds in The Bell a month from now. Fifth time's the charm.

less boring i will never tire of "elite" footballers completely failing to mark the near post... well, when it's not our "elite" footballers doing it ever week

boring

Buster Bloodvessel finally did exactly that!

Think Daka takes one of Raikhy or Cover's spot on the bench now but otherwise agree

Lookman bags twice to take Nigeria to the quarter finals of AFCON. Every time he does something of note it makes all my bitterness towards Rodgers resurface. At the time he was signed I was travelling across Canada by train and happened to share the car with a Charlton fan, who couldn't speak highly enough of him and thought that we were going to take him to new heights in the aftermath of our recent cup win. About the only thing I remember from a piss-up during a layover in Edmonton was talking about his future and being told - "look after him, he's world class". Really happy for him and how his career has gone since his time with us. It's a shame he joined us post-FA Cup in a team where he was never given an inch of freedom to play as he's capable. It's such a shame that by that point the high-water mark was already over and our terminal decline and scandalous man management failures were in full swing. To think we could have had him for £14 million is scandalous.

Just seen Maidstone singing Adele in their changing room after the game. Replay the fixture.

Everton spent so much time defending themselves on the side of buildings this week that they forgot to do any at the back post

Someone ask the fourth official if he has a breathalyser on him

just seen two magpies shitting on the fence, 5-0 win and Forest out in the replay incoming lads

those two have an absolutely wank first 45 then roll back the years like that, this club man

All I'm going to say is take a bow Stolarczyk my son, he's the reason we're still in this. A few decent last ditch tackles but we shouldn't be having to make them if the likes of Praet and Akgun pull their head out their arse and actually do some defending from the front. Knife through butter at the minute. Feel a bit for Cover, he's looked decent under the cosh but if we lose this he won't get a sniff for a long while yet.

winnit?

Yay

Is it three subs in the FA Cup or 5? My wet dream of Kingy coming off the bench to sink F*rest looking slim.

winnit

I think the sheer scale of the breach on Man City's part is what's truly appalling. If the league truly does have an ounce of integrity in its body, it will throw the book at them to show that the rules apply to all. Agree with the point about it meaning less for teams with seemingly bottomless pockets fighting at the top with Champions' League footy on the line though, and I think the chatter about stripping them of titles is just silly. Ultimately, I can't say with a straight face that we were somehow "cheated" out of Champions League football because of Man City breaking spending rules. We cheated ourselves out of it, because we were managed by an idiot whose man management got us to bottle it from seemingly-unassailable positions. Twice.

Whole thing at Newcastle is starting to feel like the Saudis just wanted something to keep them busy until they got their shiny new league outside the remit of FFP off the ground. Thoroughly enjoying the whole sorry affair given how quickly a sizeable chunk of Geordies sold their soul for this, only to find out it doesn't mean they can just buy the league like Man City and Chelsea before them did in a rather different era. Yes, on the face of it it's a blatant attempt to sidestep the rules in England. But at the same time, do we really think the PIF are going to be that fussed about what happens to Newcastle so long as their own silly league with unlimited funds is able to establish itself? Almiron going there is still a coup for the Saudi PL, maybe not a Ronaldo / Benzema / Kante / Mahrez level one but still a talisman from an EPL side they can parade as another face of the whole debacle. Willing to bet more will follow if it goes through.

ALGERIA WILL WIN THE HAIR WITH SLEMANI AND MEHREZ

No AFCON thread? Enjoying watching Amartey getting bodied on Xitter for crimes against defending for Ghana Then again he was part of a defence that shipped 3 against Comoros (the Iceland / Luxembourg of Africa) this time 2 years ago, so we should have learned our lesson then.