Duquesne Whistle

Tough watch that, not sure how we've got out of that half 1-1. It would be lovely to shithouse this one.

Aged well.

Get in

Not since Peter Taylor at least.. You're absolutely right of course, it's the most difficult sport to pull in new spectators because of the length of matches. I'm not sure white ball cricket is the only reason Test cricket still exists in England, but you can definitely say that for some areas and nations. Indian test matches often have sparse crowds, as do some other cricketing nations, whilst T20 matches are often full to the rafters. Not so in England, where Tests tend to sell out, despite our Keystone cops team. However, to play Test cricket you need opponents, so it is dying out one way or another, in the long run. I doubt it's popularity will do anything other than wane in future though. Shame for us Test cricket lovers, but the times are a changin'.

The bowlers doing the business again. This test highlights that the Aussie batting really isn't great, just better than ours.

However, Hamza Choudhury sounds nothing like Amadou Haidara, so I'm definitely not with you. Thanks for the input though clever lad

Strange? How exactly, care to elaborate? Yes, that's exactly who I meant. It was an attempted hook/added steel pun which clearly wasn't very funny. Amadou Haidara is the same initials and sounds (vaguely) similar to Abu Hamza. Why the hell would I say it about Hamza Choudhury? The initials aren't the same and his name doesn't sound anything like the same.

Waitrose out of nut roasts?

Sterling is every bit as bad as Salah and Mane for those types of 'contact' dives. He should be called out for it.

Can we find a way to get Novak Djokovic to open for us in test cricket? Two weeks and the Aussies still can't get him out.

If you really had to invite one to a party, which one would you choose between Rudiger and Zaha? Zaha has a whiney face that even a mother would struggle to love, but Rudiger comes across as an absolute tosser. Tough choice. Chelsea should really be ahead in this one. Lukaku blew a very good chance by playing the wrong pass. He takes the wrong option too often to really be considered top draw.

Has a name close to that Egyptian cleric with the hook who was eventually deported from the UK. It's a yes from me, we need a bit more steel..

It's times like these when the brief spell of Jason Roy as an England test opener now seems like a modern times highlight.. The bowlers again showing that they can do a job. You have to feel sorry for them punishing their bodies day in, day out, only to find themselves bowling again the same day. Tell you what, I never under appreciated the likes of Strauss, Cook or Pietersen anyway, but it just reminds you how good those batsmen were and just what they achieved in Australia just a decade ago (Trott too). I shouldn't really be surprised with England repeating the mistakes of previous away Ashes series. They rarely come close to getting it right in Oz, and that isn't a new thing. They were severely hamstrung with the injuries of Archer and Stone as options this time, but the bowling really hasn't been a problem anyway. I really don't know what we do with the batting, but it does feel like something radical is required at this point. Half a dozen South Africans is possibly the answer...

A pair for Warner Worst thing is, if we bowl them out for 50, it'll still be too much.

He could do that by playing in China. Doesn't mean he should. I just don't see Arsenal as an worthwhile step up for him and I'd be surprised if he does. That doesn't mean I'm right of course. In reality, money is likely all he'd gain and that's not usually enough for top footballers, they want to win too. How much would he increase his chances of winning the Premier League or Champions League by leaving Leicester City and signing for Arsenal? I'd honestly argue it's zero. FA Cups? He's been there and done that, and we're as likely to win that in the near future as Arsenal are. I'd be very disappointed if he went to the Gunners, I think he's better than that and I think a better club will come in for him. All personal opinion of course.

Ferguson was good. It would be folly to argue with that. He did conduct a 25 year reign of terror on officials and media men to ensure every 40/60 decision went in Man U's favour though. How many 100's of games did they go at Old Trafford without conceding a penalty under him? How many times did their winners arrive in the 4th or 5th minute of extra time played by refs frightened to death of being on the pitch? That certainly helped him. Great manager, but a ruthless human being who was prepared to throw anyone under the bus to get what he wanted, even his own players and ex players. As for Ronaldo. I think most people thought it could go wrong. He was already on the wane at Juve and the premier league is a tougher physical proposition than Serie A. That, allied to a squad which doesn't compare with Man City or Liverpool, meant it was always going to be difficult, they're just not good enough and wasted a lot of time under Ole too. I'm no great fan of Cristiano (outside his footballing abilities of course), but I actually think Man U need more players who think like that. For a club of their standing and wealth, anything outside top 3 is an utter failure. He's just stating it. Probably not helpful for the manager, but they should all have that attitude in my opinion.

Is it though? What would he really gain? Champions League football, occasionally, maybe, only to be knocked out in the group stage or first knock out round. I know he has to go, but Arsenal would be a major disappointment. I'd be surprised, but I accept it isn't impossible.

Let me try for you. No fvcking thanks. It would be like divorcing Michelle Keegan and getting engaged to Bernard Manning.

I'd have Gallagher in a heartbeat. More chance we sign Conor McGregor than Conor Gallagher though, I'd have thought.

If you did it in your head, it wasn't a bad effort. I assumed you'd used technology, in which case it was terrible. I'm guessing my assumption was wrong and you should be commended for your mental arithmetic Apologies for any offence caused..

I'd utterly detest it if he turned out in a Liverpool shirt. Couldn't think of anything worse. Even Man U would be better than that, though still unpalatable. It would be an enormous let down if he turned out for Arsenal though. For him and us. I'm assuming the Arsenal thing is just white noise though.

If you've had that calculator less than a month, you can probably return it for a refund mate

Surely he has more ambition than fecking Arsenal. If his agent wants to drum up interest and attract top clubs, he shouldn't throw those tossers into the ring. Oh, and I wish him well wherever he goes, unless it's Liverpool, Spurs, Arsenal, Man U, Man City, Chelsea or Notts Forest.

This is a bit of a tired cliche isn't it? There's been plenty like Tierney and Robertson, who have been successes in the Premier League. The Scottish top league is a decent grounding for those moving South. Eduoard is also beginning to look like a bit of a steal at the money Palace paid. Ok, so it hasn't worked out with Benko. That's about him and Leicester City, nothing to do with any time he spent in Scotland.