urban.spaceman

Here it is again

Fata...who?

Opening scene: INT. EFL HQ - OFFICE - DAY A figure sits in a chair facing away from a cluttered desk, staring out of the huge window onto a busy road. Boxes piled on top of each other align the walls. Some of them read: 'LEICESTER'S MANY WRONGDOINGS'. One box sits on top a stuffed paper bin, reading: "ARE OWN RULES". The man takes a solemn deep breath. The door swings open - the sign on the door reads "RICK PARRY INVESTIGATES!" - an elderly woman storms in, looking harried. LYNN, 60s, the man's PA storms in. She is not looking forward to this. LYNN Sir, I have some, er, news... The man - RICK PARRY, 50s, looks like a former Tory MP - holds his hand up, stopping her mid-sentence. He turns around, cigar in his mouth. PARRY Don't tell me. I already know. Wednesday are going to have to forfeit, meaning we have to give Leicester the 3 points. LYNN It's not just that, sire. They're-- PARRY They're what? They're not contesting their deduction again, are they? LYNN Well their case is actually quite str- He holds his hand up again. The other is clenched on the table, his knuckles whitening with rage. PARRY We HAVE to try, Lynn. He have to try. For the good of our overlords. He looks to the wall - team posters of the top six clubs are blue-tacked to the wall; love hearts drawn all over them with zero subtlety, cut outs from magazines of various top six club captains lifting trophies have been pritt-sticked to the posters. Even Harry Kane lifting the Audi Cup is on there. PARRY Besides, they don't know that we know De Marco's allergies. LYNN It's only Nickel, sir. Worst that would happen is he comes out in a slight rash. PARRY I. SAID. WE. HAVE. TO. TRY. LYNN. He calms himself, slowly. PARRY What was your news. LYNN I'm afraid it is about Leicester. A problem we hadn't foreseen. PARRY Lay it on me. LYNN There's really no easy way to say this. Leicester are... Tense. As. ****. LYNN Leicester are.... Looking..... Actually..... Good? He finally breaks. He turns back around, not wanting Lynn to see him. And he sobs. LYNN I'm so, so sorry, sir. PARRY I want blankie. Get me blankie!

He'll come good He'll come goo He'll come go He'll come g He'll come He'll com He'll co He'll c Hell He H He He's He's s He's sh He's shi He's shit

Nelson:

I’d be happy with that too.

Competence.

I am so ****ing desperate for Wednesday to have to forfeit next week so we get 3 points. (Though obviously hope they survive)

HMS PISS THE LEAGUE

Now THAT is ****ing slutty.

Abdul looks so ****ing slutty when he gets his shirt pulled over his shoulder :

From Bentley's Roof....

Mods can you delete my earlier post?

Snap back to reality, ope, there goes gravity

yes but you have to be over 18 to watch it.

Yes I have insomnia

Did Ricky Martin not know champagne literally comes from France or did the lyric predate the E.U. ruling? Does that law’s jurisdiction extend to Puerto Rico and into the past as well? could he not have come up with a more appropriate lyric?!

Instant classic.