Miquel The Work Geordie

Back for Eurovision – been doing some phenomenal pints recently. Kirkstall are absolutely dominating in Leeds now, they've moved into the bottom floor of the Tetley building and are (jointly with Five Points) renovating the Victoria in the city which was previously a Nicholsons, a beautiful building and bar they'll do a fantastic job with. Wenlocks (basically Five Points) are also opening a beer / food hall round the back of the Corn Exchange which I imagine will be akin to Mackie Mayor in Manchester. Cardigan Arms in Burley is still the GOATed boozer up there for me and one I miss every day having moved back down to Leicester for a bit. Best pubs (some new for me, some not) in the past year have been... The Pigeons in Halifax – absolutely beautiful gaff with a few rooms coming off a bar, Ossett owned and operated so White Rat was about £3.60. Great stop before going down the Shay to watch the football, Halifax as a place is seriously doing well for pubs and beer. The Big Six is also *phenomenal* – I'd advise anyone who lives in the north / has easy access to have a poke around there. Port St Beerhouse in Manchester is really, really lovely. Gas Lamp and Crown & Kettle up there consistently deliver too. The Wenlock Arms in Islington has been a fixture whenever I've nipped down there over the past five years and is now always top of the pile, it's the perfect pub. Sutton Arms in Clerkenwell up there too. Used to love the Old Fountain but the staff are shit in there now, it's really just lost a bit of what made it so good to visit. The beer is still great, the pub is still exactly the same, but the staff are so unarsed to the point its quite easy to swerve. Goes under the radar a bit I feel, but outside of the capital I genuinely think Sheffield can stake a claim to be the best pub city in the country.

They sound like me after ten pints trying to make chat with a bloody Uber driver

Wowo these holograms really have organic chat

She's dressed a bit like the future and all I'll say is I'm ready to embrace AI !

This is the most attracted to any woman I've ever been and I follow numerous indie influencers from the Greater Manchester area on Instagram

YES YES YES

This is probably the best ballad but if you wear a mosquito net on stage you deserve to finish last imo

The French are good at rioting and football but are a nation of moaning simpletons in every other regard. Facts are facts

Whys he wearing the webbing you get in swimming shorts

Oh god I haven't had a Tommy over a video game since BMX XXX in on the PS2 2002

Also absolutely disgraceful we've given the Yanks an entry in this now too! Georgia! Aha just some geography humour there everyone

She looks like she's going to offer me advice in a mythical themed video game

Here's one @Zear0 told me was nice and I swear to god she better be over 25

Would love to see him put our entry through the Spanish announce table

The background of this sounds a bit like Do It Again by the Chemical Brothers

slathering myself in béchamel sauce to this in honour of our boy Baby Lasagna

Here we go

Bucks Fizz turning in their grave at what we put out there tonight

Feel like Dennis Norden is gonna appear with a clipboard in a bit

Have to say I think we'll be Finding Nemo near the top of the scoreboard after this exhilarating banger !

Great balance by the boy, what a player he was by the way

His tight perm is very Liverpool youngster on loan at Oxford United

This guy looks like the entry I thought we were gonna have, a bit of fun, a bit of a laugh. We stuck some lad from years and years in a shower that needed grouting, nice one @rishisunak

Here we go, the Toblerone merchants are here to claim impartiality and call it an entry

Austrlia getting their oar in with the Cypriot entry then, not enough that those Lou Carpenter merchants managed to wangle a spot the last few years is it. Give these people an inch I swear