samingram_uk Posted 23 May 2006 Author Posted 23 May 2006 whats the difference between spurs and bird flu? bird flu made it to europe.
dandannieldanok Posted 23 May 2006 Posted 23 May 2006 whats the difference between spurs and bird flu? bird flu made it to europe. nice idea but it can't work with spurs, they qualified for europe
Cobbo Posted 23 May 2006 Posted 23 May 2006 nice idea but it can't work with spurs, they qualified for europe Ah but didn't bird flu make it into the champions league?
Benji Posted 23 May 2006 Posted 23 May 2006 this one's ok, quite recent: Three animals are sitting in a jungle, a lion, an elephant and a chicken. The lion sits around boasting "I am the king of the jungle, i only need to roar and everything in sight runs", the lion roars and every animal scatters. The elephant goes "that's nothing, i just stomp my feet and blow out my trunk and every animal in the jungle runs", so the elephant stomps away and all the animals run away. The chicken smiles to himself and says "yeh well i just have to cough and the world shits itself".
andyh1884 Posted 23 May 2006 Posted 23 May 2006 What have Arsenal & Heather Mills got in common? They could both do with a second leg. Taxi.........
Knighton Matt Posted 23 May 2006 Posted 23 May 2006 What have Arsenal & Heather Mills got in common? They could both do with a second leg. Taxi......... :laugh:
Leicfox Posted 19 August 2006 Posted 19 August 2006 Little Johnny's father decided it was time for 11-year-old Little Johnny, to learn the facts of life. He takes him to the local house of ill repute, which is fronted by a beauty parlor. He introduces Little Johnny to the madam, and explains that it's time for his indoctrination to sex. The madam says, "You've been such a good customer over the years, I'm going to see to this personally." So she takes Little Johnny by the hand and leads him upstairs, where she completes his deflowering. Later, as they are walking downstairs the madam says, "Since this is your first time, I'm going to see that you get the full treatment before you leave. I'm going to give you a manicure." Two weeks later Little Johnny and his father run into the madam on the main street. Little Johnny is acting a little shy, so the madam smiles and says, "Well, Little Johnny, don't you remember me?" "Yes, Ma'am," Little Johnny stammers, "you're the lady that gave me the crabs and then cut off my fingernails so I couldn't scratch 'em."
Filbert_Ross Posted 20 August 2006 Posted 20 August 2006 i bought a telescope off ebay last week off this bloke in Barnsley, he charged me £530. I think he seen me coming.
golden gordon Posted 20 August 2006 Posted 20 August 2006 i bought a telescope off ebay last week off this bloke in Barnsley, he charged me £530. I think he seen me coming. Two Nuns Two nuns are driving down a road late at night when a vampire jumps onto the bonnet. The nun who is driving says to the other, "Quick! Show him your cross." So the other nun leans out of the window and shouts, "Get off our ****ing car."
Alexikokopops Posted 20 August 2006 Posted 20 August 2006 A man goes to a zoo and there's just one dog. It was a shi tzu
cisono Posted 20 August 2006 Posted 20 August 2006 Two Nuns Two nuns are driving down a road late at night when a vampire jumps onto the bonnet. The nun who is driving says to the other, "Quick! Show him your cross." So the other nun leans out of the window and shouts, "Get off our ****ing car." Good one for teaching students of English as a foreign language some colloquial English...
cisono Posted 20 August 2006 Posted 20 August 2006 I wish I could contribute a joke here but, as you may have heard, I'm a woman and can never remember a joke for the life of me!
lookwhaticando Posted 20 August 2006 Posted 20 August 2006 Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Somebody was going to say it eventually.
golden gordon Posted 20 August 2006 Posted 20 August 2006 I wish I could contribute a joke here but, as you may have heard, I'm a woman and can never remember a joke for the life of me! women don't need to tell jokes, they have a natural ability to make men laugh when they try to do things like change a 3 pin plug or reverse into a parking space p.s. ladies this is just a joke
Leicfox Posted 20 August 2006 Posted 20 August 2006 Q: Why is a necrophiliac like a fur trapper? A: They're both hunting for dead beaver. The McCartney kids are at the family ranch anxiously awaiting news of their mother. Paul emerges from his wife's bedroom. "Kid's......there's good news and bad news." "The bad news is your mother's strength and will to live has been sucked away by her awful disease and she died a few moments ago" "The good news is.... It's steak and chips for dinner!"
Rincewind Posted 20 August 2006 Posted 20 August 2006 A bear and a rabbit was sitting in a jungle chatting. The bear says to the rabbit ' When you take a shit does it stick to your fur?' The rabbit replies, 'No.' The bear picks the rabbit up and wipes his arse with him.
lookwhaticando Posted 20 August 2006 Posted 20 August 2006 A bear and a rabbit was sitting in a jungle chatting. The bear says to the rabbit ' When you take a shit does it stick to your fur?' The rabbit replies, 'No.' The bear picks the rabbit up and wipes his arse with him. Such a low quality joke but still funny :laugh:
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