Friendly customer services operatives

[cisono]

OK, we all have to call customer services sometimes (ideally the cheapest possible way ). Today, my bank locked me out after just one failed login attempt online so I had to ring customer services to reset security.

After listening to 5 minutes of screeching music which was nearly successful at putting me off the whole idea of holding...this young lady answered the call. After confirming my name, she offered to call me by my first name (if that was ok with me). She was extremely friendly throughout the conversation, happily waited for me to find my card at the other end of the house and in the wrong jacket pocket, asked me tough but fair questions to confirm my identity (e.g. tell me about a recent transaction on this card) and politely listened to my listing all the items I had bought on that transaction to try and reconstruct the total paid for them. Then, after resetting security for me and explaining a few more things, she offered me a loan at just 16% (which I politely refused), so she asked if there was anything else she could do for me and closed the conversation saying "Happy New Year... and Take care". All this with an extremely friendly tone I don't get from 99% of the people I know.

She was extremely polite and came across as very nice but... the overall effect was... that I almost felt as if she were after me...

Cannot they ever find a happy middle ground? Some days you get the angry ones that hang up on you or the Indian offshore helpdesk operative accusing you of making up the term "non-geographical number" but then, eventually, when you least expect it,... you get the extra (too?) polite one.

[danny.]

why the hell are you moaning at this????

[AoWW]

What I hate is when you get a 'sales' call (usually banks) and they start off on the whole ultra-sunny "How are you today...?" routine. Like you actually fecking care how i'm feeling. I'll tell you, shall I? That's if you've got an hour or so to spare and would like to be bored to death with my latest drama.

Just get the feck on with it. Be polite, by all means, but do not act like you're my best friend and confidant.

[Alexikokopops]

I love it when I get phoned by phone companies who offer to better my contract.

I usually respond with "You promise?", and then go on to tell them that my sister works for Vodafone and I get everything unlimited for £25 a month, and then feel amused as they talk their way out of it and quickly hang up.

[Zingari]

Actual customer services call centre conversations !!!!!

Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.

Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.

Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.

Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.

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Samsung Electronics

Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.

Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

RAC Motoring Services

Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'

Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'

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this is my favourite a bit long but very good

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared.'

Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'

Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'

Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark??'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.

' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not??'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'

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[MikeyT]

Actual customer services call centre conversations !!!!!

Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.

Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.

Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.

Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Samsung Electronics

Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.

Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

RAC Motoring Services

Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'

Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this is my favourite a bit long but very good

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared.'

Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'

Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'

Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark??'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.

' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not??'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'

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Haha they are great. Cheers for posting those!

[purpleronnie]

Yeah I'm sure some complete stranger from who knows where wants to date you just from a phonecall.

[Tevez]

I love it when I get phoned by phone companies who offer to better my contract.

I usually respond with "You promise?", and then go on to tell them that my sister works for Vodafone and I get everything unlimited for £25 a month, and then feel amused as they talk their way out of it and quickly hang up.

[Trav Le Bleu]

OK, we all have to call customer services sometimes (ideally the cheapest possible way ). Today, my bank locked me out after just one failed login attempt online so I had to ring customer services to reset security.

After listening to 5 minutes of screeching music which was nearly successful at putting me off the whole idea of holding...this young lady answered the call. After confirming my name, she offered to call me by my first name (if that was ok with me). She was extremely friendly throughout the conversation, happily waited for me to find my card at the other end of the house and in the wrong jacket pocket, asked me tough but fair questions to confirm my identity (e.g. tell me about a recent transaction on this card) and politely listened to my listing all the items I had bought on that transaction to try and reconstruct the total paid for them. Then, after resetting security for me and explaining a few more things, she offered me a loan at just 16% (which I politely refused), so she asked if there was anything else she could do for me and closed the conversation saying "Happy New Year... and Take care". All this with an extremely friendly tone I don't get from 99% of the people I know.

She was extremely polite and came across as very nice but... the overall effect was... that I almost felt as if she were after me...

Cannot they ever find a happy middle ground? Some days you get the angry ones that hang up on you or the Indian offshore helpdesk operative accusing you of making up the term "non-geographical number" but then, eventually, when you least expect it,... you get the extra (too?) polite one.

Have you ever read Incompetence by Rob Grant? Hilarious chapter with the "over-friendly" meet and greet staff at a hotel

And nice examples of call-centre calls Zing I used to work in a bank call-centre and we used to get some real idiots phoning up. Best one was the guy who rang on a Wednesday and asked, "I'm just ringing to check if I'll get paid on Friday." I really, really wanted to say, "I dunno, did you go work this week?"

[Guest]

It's not just call centres. Stupid people are everywhere.

[stez]

It's not just call centres. Stupid people are everywhere.

tell me about it, i often see 11 of them at the stadium de walkers